Michelle Obama. Elena Ferrante. Viola Davis. Patti Smith.

And my homemaker mother who raised us well.

I love, love, loooove these women.

Even now in my late 30s, I still tell everyone “I wanna be just like them when I grow up.”

Why are certain women more respected (and admired) as they get older?

It’s not just classy outfits or talent or fame.

I realize that it really has to do with how they act.

Women who become more respected as they get older usually adopt these behaviors:

1) They’re self-reliant

Women who can take care of themselves earn more respect from others.

Because…let’s be honest here—it’s hard to respect anyone (male or female) who’s clingy and overly dependent, especially if they’re over 40.

So what do they do?

Once their kids are able to go to school, they’d work or start a business. They always try to improve themselves and become useful members of society.

Not only that, they try new hobbies, meet new people, and learn new things. In other words, they’re constantly trying to enrich their life!

And of course, they know basic life skills that even if everyone leaves them, they survive. Yes, despite them having illnesses and disabilities.

2) They enjoy their solitude

So not only do they survive when they’re alone, they actually enjoy it, too!

They don’t pity themselves and think “What’s wrong with meee?” or “Doesn’t anybody love me anymore?!”

They don’t feel lonely when they’re eating alone at a resto.

They don’t count the minutes before they can be with people again.

And that’s because they actually love every minute of their alone time.

Sure, they do still miss their family and friends when they’re not around, but they love their own company, too. Truly.

Some women are around people all the time that they feel something’s missing when they’re alone—but that’s what respectable women avoid.

They continuously strive to be happy with themselves even if their partner, kids, and friends are away.

3) They care about something larger than themselves

It’s normal to be a little focused on oneself when one is younger.

But as we get older, isn’t it great if we can stop staring at our navels and look up to pay attention to others instead?

A woman becomes more respected if she can think of something other than her looks, her family, and her life.

In other words, if she has genuine curiosity and interest towards others.

The women I look up to love themselves, that’s for sure. But they are not self-absorbed!

So how do they care for things beyond themselves?

They:

• Watch the news
• Join a cause
• Donate to charity
• Care for the world
• Listen to people talk

It doesn’t matter how often or how intensely she does them. For a woman to be more respected, she has to be engaged with things outside her personal life.

4)  They prioritize self-care

I’m not talking about botox and lipo (although if that’s their thing, no problem!).

But I’m talking about the most essential self-care like:

• Exercise
• A healthy diet
• A good morning routine
• Yoga, meditation, and prayer
• Having regular medical consultations
• Personal grooming

It’s so nice to see women in their 50s who are fit, calm, and stylish.

They make me go “Wow, now this is a woman who takes charge of her life.”

5) They set goals and try to achieve them

Women who are more respected as they get older are proactive with achieving their life purpose and attaining happiness.

No matter what dreams they may have—whether it’s to become a mayor or to have a little farm—they’d try to turn them into reality.

While they know that many of their goals are unachievable, they’d give it all they’ve got anyway.

After all, what’s the alternative? That they’d just sit at home all day waiting for death to take them? No way!

They’d shoot their shot until their last breath.

6) They mind their own business

Can you respect a 70-year-old woman who still loves to gossip and share their hot takes and two cents about everything?

Well, I can if I try hard…but it won’t be easy.

I would find it difficult to look up to her because people who think other people’s business is their business usually come with a set of traits that I personally don’t find admirable.

They can be a bit judgmental.

They can be a bit of a know-it-all.

And most of all, they can be a bit bitter.

Unfortunately, this is very common. Women who get bored in their old age start to become more judgmental of others.

That’s why when a woman doesn’t stick her nose in other people’s business—even to the ones closest to her—I can’t help but admire her and think “Wow, this woman’s got class!”

7) They’re level-headed

A girl becomes a woman when she knows how to control her emotions.

The older women I adore are the ones who are calm and wise during stressful moments.

• They don’t break down or lash out like a Karen the moment they are inconvenienced.
• They know when to (respectfully) speak up and when to bite their tongue.
• And when they make decisions, they make sure they use their head and their heart.

You feel safe around them because you know they have the maturity to handle whatever life throws their way.

8) They practice what they preach

Some women are so good at telling others how to live their life but they don’t hold the same standards to themselves.

How many mothers tell their kids not to use their phones too much…but they’re on Tiktok even while in the bathroom?

How many sisters give lectures to their siblings on how to pursue their goals…and yet, they’re not doing anything with their own goals?

Too many.

And if a woman is like this, not only will she not be respected by others, she might also not be liked.

That’s why they practice the opposite: They lead by example.

They become the change they want to see in the world.

9) They act with class

Women who become more respected as they get older have classy habits that leave a lasting impression.

• They have good manners
• They are honest but tactful
• They arrive on time
• They wait for their turn
• They have integrity

Of course, some of them dress well and wear good perfume and have good posture. But those are just icing on the cake.

What they really have is classy behavior.

10) They teach people how to treat them

Sometimes, even if you do all of the things above, but just because you’re a woman, some people would still disrespect you.

Yes, respect is earned. But sometimes, it has to be demanded—from people who don’t know the basics of respect.

And so, they assert themselves and teach others how to treat them.

• If their partner is abusive, they’d tell them off. And if they don’t get better after a while, they’d walk away.
• If a man is catcalling them everytime they pass by, they’d reprimand them. And if they don’t change, they’d report them to authorities.
• And if their mother-in-law keeps saying awful things about them, they’d confront them directly and tell them exactly how to behave.

Women who become more respected as they get older know their worth. And they’re always their number one advocate.

Final thoughts:

I’m 38 and in just two decades or so, I will be considered a member of the older women club.

And you know what? I’m excited.

Sure, I still have a long way to go, but I know that as long as I try to develop the behaviors that are in this list, I will become respected, too.

And if you’re like me, I can assure you that you’re going to become more respected as you get older, too. Well, as long as you keep trying.