As we grow older, it’s natural for our social dynamics to shift.

We might notice ourselves drifting apart from others, often without fully understanding why. But what’s behind this change?

Often, these shifts stem from specific behaviors that tend to crop up among women as they age, behaviors that may seem insignificant but can significantly impact our relationships, erecting subtle barriers between us and others.

In this piece, I’ll dive into these seven behaviors and help you spot if you’re unintentionally pulling away from those around you.

Without further ado, let’s jump in. 

1) Shifting priorities

As we get older, it’s common for our priorities to change.

Sometimes, women who seem more distant as they age have simply shifted their focus—putting more emphasis on their personal growth rather than social connections.

This change isn’t necessarily negative. It often leads to greater self-fulfillment and satisfaction. However, it can create a gap between them and their social circle, resulting in a feeling of distance.

It’s important to realize that this shift isn’t intentional or meant to hurt others. It’s just a natural result of evolving priorities and interests.

2) Increased social involvement

Now, this might seem surprising, but another behavior common among women who become distant as they age is an increase in social involvement.

Yes, you heard it right.

Often, women in their later years may join clubs, volunteer groups, or community organizations. This increased social involvement might seem like a contradiction to the distancing behavior we’re discussing.

But here’s the twist.

While they are physically present and interacting with others, emotionally they might not be fully engaged. This can lead to superficial relationships that lack the depth and intimacy of close friendships.

Therefore, even though they are surrounded by people and appear socially active, they might still feel distant and disconnected from others. 

3) Overcoming codependency

Many of us have been conditioned to believe that we need others in order to feel complete. This belief can often lead to codependent relationships, where our happiness and sense of self-worth are tied to other people.

As we get older, some women start to break away from this pattern. They start realizing their own worth and seeking fulfillment within themselves, rather than through others.

This shift can often make them seem distant to those who are used to their previous codependent patterns. But the payoff—a healthier, more balanced relationship with yourself and others—is definitely worth the effort.  

The process of overcoming codependency is a journey I’ve explored in depth in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a journey that requires self-reflection, courage and a profound shift in mindset.

4) Embracing solitude

There’s a quote by Albert Einstein that I find quite fitting, “Solitude is painful when one is young, but delightful when one is more mature.”  

In our society, being alone is often mistaken for loneliness, but they’re not the same. You can be alone without feeling lonely, just as you can feel lonely in a crowd.

As we age, many women come to appreciate the value of solitude. They find joy in their own company, using that time to reflect, pursue hobbies, or simply enjoy quiet moments.

This shift might make them seem distant to others, but it’s really about finding inner peace.

So, if you’re finding more contentment in your own company and others see it as distance, don’t worry. It’s perfectly okay. Embrace your solitude and use it as a tool for self-discovery and personal growth.

5) Setting boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial for our mental and emotional wellbeing. But for many of us, it can be a tough skill to master. As we grow older, we start to realize the importance of saying ‘no’ and protecting our personal space.

For women who prioritized others over themselves in their younger years, this newfound assertiveness can come across as distancing behavior.

They might decline invitations more often or limit their availability, creating an impression of being less accessible.

From personal experience, I can tell you that learning to set boundaries was a game-changer for me. It’s not about alienating others, but about respecting your own needs and wellbeing.

If you find yourself setting more boundaries as you age and others perceive it as distance, don’t let it discourage you. You’re simply taking care of your mental and emotional health, which is always a priority.

6) Accepting change

Change is an inevitable part of life. As we grow older, we become more accepting of this fact. We realize that people, relationships, and circumstances change, and that’s okay.

This acceptance can often lead to a detachment from others. We accept that people come and go in our lives, and we cherish them for the time they are there, rather than holding on to them tightly.

This reminds me of a quote by Heraclitus, “The only constant in life is change.” It’s a simple statement, but it holds profound wisdom about the nature of existence.

I’ve also learned to embrace this philosophy in my own life. It’s helped me navigate through various transitions with grace and resilience.

If you’re finding yourself more accepting of change and feeling distant from others as a result, remember it’s a sign of your maturity and wisdom.

And for those interested in learning more about such insights, I invite you to follow me on my Facebook page: Tina Fey’s Love Connection. You’ll get my latest articles and thoughts on relationships, personal growth, and more right in your feed.

7) Dealing with loss

As we age, we face loss in many forms – loss of loved ones, loss of health, and even loss of certain dreams or expectations.

These experiences can leave deep emotional scars, and often, women respond by emotionally withdrawing, creating a distance from others.

This is not to say that they are wallowing in grief or bitterness. Rather, it’s a defense mechanism to protect themselves from further pain.

It’s a tough subject to talk about, but it’s an important one. Loss is a part of life, and how we deal with it shapes us in profound ways.

If you find yourself distancing from others after experiencing loss, know that it’s okay to take time for yourself. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to step back and focus on your emotional well-being.

Insightful reflection

The behavioral patterns we’ve explored aren’t one-size-fits-all, nor do they define every woman’s journey as she ages. Yet, they’re prevalent enough to recognize and grasp. 

Through years of delving into human behavior and relationships, I’ve discovered that self-awareness is key to fostering healthier connections. It empowers us to make intentional choices, steering clear of autopilot reactions.

Ultimately, it’s about embracing our evolution and the changes that come with time. As we journey through life, our relationships and social dynamics may shift, but that doesn’t equate to losing touch. It’s a natural progression of growth.

For deeper insights into the themes we’ve explored, I recommend checking out this enlightening video by Justin Brown on the significance of embracing singlehood as a phase of personal growth and discovery.

Brown’s perspective aligns with many of the behavioral changes we’ve explored in this article.

His candid reflections provide a fresh lens through which to view your own journey, whether you’re navigating the complexities of aging, embracing solitude or finding contentment in your own company.

Remember, growing older doesn’t have to mean growing distant. It’s about embracing change, setting boundaries, and ultimately, being true to yourself.