Women who are sweet and kind on the surface but really manipulative underneath usually display these 7 behaviors

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | August 18, 2024, 4:46 pm

There’s a fine line between being genuinely kind and hiding manipulative tendencies beneath a sweet exterior.

As we navigate life, we meet people who appear kind and loving, but underneath that facade, they’re really pulling the strings.

Especially in women, this contrast can be startling. They may seem like the embodiment of warmth and kindness, while subtly manipulating situations to their advantage.

In this article, we’ll delve into the 7 behaviors often displayed by women who masterfully blend sweetness with manipulation. It’s not about judging, but about understanding and recognizing these signs for healthier interactions. Let’s dive in.

1) Master of compliments

We all love a good compliment now and then, right? It boosts our confidence and makes us feel valued.

However, manipulative women often use compliments as a clever tool in their arsenal. They are masters at dishing out praise, but there’s often an ulterior motive lurking beneath their kind words.

You see, by complimenting you excessively, they’re slowly building a rapport and trust. You start to see them as someone who genuinely appreciates you and it becomes easier to let your guard down.

The catch? These compliments aren’t always sincere. More often than not, they are carefully calculated moves meant to make you more susceptible to their influence.

It’s not about shunning compliments altogether, but about recognizing when they’re being used as a manipulative tool. Always be mindful of the context and consistency of the praise you receive. If it feels too frequent or out of place, it may be time to reassess the situation.

2) They’re always the victim

I still remember my encounter with a woman who seemed so kind and gentle at first glance. She had a knack for storytelling, and each tale she spun was filled with drama where she was always the one wronged.

It was as if she led a life of constant trials, and the people around her were always to blame. She skillfully painted herself as the perpetual victim, and I couldn’t help but feel sympathy for her.

But then I noticed a pattern. The more I sympathized with her, the more she would manipulate my feelings to get what she wanted. Whether it was a favor or emotional support, she used her ‘victim status’ as a way to guilt me into complying.

While it’s natural to empathize with someone going through a hard time, manipulative women often exploit this to their advantage. They create scenarios where they are the victim, which in turn makes you feel obligated to help them out, often at your own expense.

Realizing this was an eye-opener. It taught me to be cautious of those who habitually cast themselves as victims.

3) They’re extremely charming

Charm can be a delightful quality. It can make someone magnetic and captivating, pulling you into their world with ease. But what happens when charm is used as a manipulation tactic?

Manipulative women often use their charm to influence those around them. They know exactly how to engage in conversation, making you feel special and seen. This charm offensive creates a compelling aura that’s hard to resist.

And here’s the fascinating part. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, individuals who are highly charming are often adept at manipulating others for personal gain.

In essence, they use their charisma as a smoke screen, hiding their true intentions behind a captivating facade. It’s important to remember that genuine charm doesn’t come with hidden agendas. If you feel like you’re constantly being swayed by someone’s charm, it might be time to reassess the situation.

4) They’re often indirect

Communication is key in any relationship, be it personal or professional. But when dealing with manipulative women, you’ll notice that direct communication often takes a backseat.

Instead of stating their wants or needs clearly, they tend to beat around the bush, hinting at what they want or using subtle suggestions to get their way. This indirectness can make it hard for you to understand their true intentions and can leave you feeling confused or uneasy.

This strategy creates a power dynamic where they hold control, and you’re left trying to decipher their veiled messages. It’s a clever way of getting what they want without appearing demanding or imposing.

Being aware of this tactic can help you navigate these interactions better. Always strive for clear, direct communication and don’t be afraid to ask for clarification when things seem murky. After all, healthy relationships thrive on transparency and understanding.

5) They use guilt trips

I have a friend, let’s call her Emily. Emily has a way of making you feel guilty for every little thing. If I couldn’t make it to a dinner she arranged at the last minute, she’d act hurt and make me feel like I let her down, even when my reasons were legitimate.

She had this uncanny ability to make everything about her. If I was having a bad day and wasn’t in the mood to talk, she’d take it personally, making me feel guilty for needing some space.

This is a classic manipulative tactic. It’s about turning the tables and making you feel in the wrong, even when you’re not. The guilt trips serve as a means to control your actions and decisions, often leaving you feeling obligated to please them at all times.

It took me a while to understand what was happening, but when I did, it changed our dynamic forever. I learned that it’s okay to set boundaries and not let someone’s guilt trips control my actions. It’s been a liberating journey of self-discovery and growth.

6) They’re always in control

Control is a key factor when it comes to manipulation. Women who are manipulative underneath a sweet exterior often need to be in control of every situation.

You’ll notice that they are the ones dictating the terms of your interactions. They decide when and where you meet, they control the conversation, and they even influence your decisions, all under the guise of being kind and helpful.

This need for control extends beyond personal relationships. It can be seen in professional environments too, where they use their influence to steer team decisions or dominate group dynamics.

The tricky part is that they often do this subtly, making it seem like they are merely guiding or advising. But in reality, they are steering the course according to their desires and needs.

Recognizing this behavior can help you maintain your autonomy and prevent you from being swayed by their manipulative tactics. Remember, a healthy relationship, whether personal or professional, is based on mutual respect and shared decision-making.

7) They gaslight you

Gaslighting is one of the most harmful manipulation tactics and it’s often used by women who appear sweet and kind on the surface.

Gaslighting involves making you doubt your perceptions, memories, or feelings. The manipulator might deny things you know happened, dismiss your feelings, or convince you that you’re overreacting or misunderstanding situations.

This tactic can be incredibly damaging as it can lead to you questioning your own sanity and reality. It’s a way of gaining control and making you more dependent on them as you start doubting your own judgement.

Awareness is the first step towards combating gaslighting. If you find yourself constantly second-guessing or doubting yourself around a particular person, it could be a sign that they’re using this manipulative tactic. Stand firm in your truth and seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals.

Final thoughts: It’s all about awareness

The complexities of human behavior are deeply intertwined with our psychological makeup.

One such complexity is the ability of some women to mask manipulation under a veneer of sweetness and kindness. These carefully crafted facades can be challenging to decipher, but the first step in the journey is awareness.

Understanding these seven behaviors can serve as a compass, guiding you through the labyrinth of manipulation. It helps you recognize when someone’s kindness might not be as genuine as it appears, enabling you to protect your emotional wellbeing.

It’s vital to remember that not all acts of kindness are veiled manipulations. Genuine kindness exists and should be celebrated. However, when kindness consistently leaves you feeling drained or doubting yourself, it’s time to reassess the situation.

Whether it’s a friend, a colleague, or a loved one, awareness of these manipulative behaviors can empower you to navigate your relationships with more confidence and clarity. After all, awareness is the first step towards change.

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