Being highly intelligent doesn’t always come hand in hand with high self-esteem. Many women who are incredibly smart struggle with self-worth issues.

It’s like a complex puzzle, where the pieces don’t fit together as you might expect. There are certain subtle behaviors that these women display, which can often be missed if you’re not paying close attention.

In this piece, we’re going to explore 8 such behaviors. Keep reading if you’re ready for some insightful revelations.

1) They downplay their achievements

One of the most common behaviors of highly intelligent women with low self-esteem is that they tend to downplay their achievements.

It’s a bit paradoxical. They are incredibly accomplished, maybe even in multiple fields, but they often struggle to recognize and acknowledge their own success.

Ever heard someone dismiss a big accomplishment by saying it was “just luck” or “not that big of a deal”? That’s an example of what we’re talking about.

This is not them striving for humility – it’s a reflection of their internal struggle. They genuinely have trouble seeing their accomplishments for what they are.

So the next time you see a woman brushing off her achievements, take a moment to help her see the value she brings. It could mean more to her than you realize.

2) They constantly apologize

Now, this is something I’ve personally noticed with a lot of my highly intelligent female friends who struggle with self-esteem issues – they’re always apologizing.

I remember one time, I was working on a project with my friend, Lisa. She’s one of the smartest people I know. Yet, I noticed how she would often apologize for her ideas before even sharing them.

She’d say things like, “I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense,” or “I’m sorry, this might be a bad idea”. It was as if she was constantly seeking validation or approval, even though her ideas were brilliant.

It’s a subtle behavior, but it says a lot about how they perceive themselves. And it’s something that needs to be addressed for them to truly embrace their intelligence and capabilities.

3) They avoid the spotlight

Highly intelligent women with low self-esteem have a tendency to avoid the spotlight. Despite their numerous talents and capabilities, they prefer to stay in the background, often underestimating their worth.

Here’s something intriguing – research shows that people with high intelligence are more likely to suffer from the “Impostor Syndrome”. This is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a “fraud”.

So when it comes to taking center stage, they often step back, allowing others to take the credit. While they may excel in their roles, they may struggle with accepting praise and recognition. It’s a clear sign of an internal battle between their intelligence and their self-esteem.

4) They are often perfectionists

Perfectionism is another common trait among highly intelligent women with low self-esteem. They set incredibly high standards for themselves and are often dissatisfied if the results do not meet their expectations.

This constant pursuit of perfection can be mentally taxing. It’s like they’re in a never-ending race, always striving for better, always pushing themselves harder.

Unfortunately, this can result in them feeling perpetually inadequate, no matter how well they do. Instead of celebrating their successes, they might focus on the one thing that didn’t go according to plan.

It’s an exhausting way to live, and another clear sign of their self-esteem struggles.

5) They struggle with self-care

It breaks my heart to see how many highly intelligent women with low self-esteem forget to take care of themselves. They’re so caught up in their work, their goals, and meeting the expectations of others, that they often neglect their own needs.

They might work long hours without taking breaks, skip meals, or sacrifice sleep – all in the name of productivity or perfection. The idea of self-care might feel like a luxury they can’t afford, or even something they don’t deserve.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential. And it’s okay to put your needs first sometimes. If you recognize this behavior in someone you know – or yourself – it might be time to take a step back and prioritize self-love and care.

6) They shy away from compliments

Receiving compliments can be a real challenge for highly intelligent women with low self-esteem. I’ve experienced this first-hand.

A few years back, I won an award for a research paper I had worked tirelessly on. But when people congratulated me, instead of saying thank you, I found myself brushing it off and diverting the conversation. I even tried to undermine my own achievement by saying things like, “Oh, the other papers must not have been that good.”

This discomfort with compliments is a subtle indication of low self-esteem. It’s as if they believe they’re not deserving of praise or positive attention. It’s a behavior that can often go unnoticed but can have a significant impact on their self-perception.

7) They often compare themselves to others

Comparing oneself to others is a common habit among highly intelligent women with low self-esteem. They often measure their success, abilities, and worth against others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

Instead of appreciating their unique journey, they might fixate on where they think they should be, based on the achievements of others. This comparison game can prevent them from recognizing and valuing their own accomplishments.

It’s important to remember that everyone’s path is different. Your worth isn’t determined by how you stack up against others, but by your own journey and growth.

8) They’re often their own harshest critic

The most crucial thing to know about highly intelligent women with low self-esteem is that they’re often their own harshest critic. They hold themselves to extremely high standards, and when they fall short, they’re quick to judge themselves harshly.

This self-criticism can be relentless and damaging, often undermining their confidence and reinforcing their low self-esteem. It’s a cycle that can be hard to break free from, but understanding it is the first step towards overcoming it.

The underpinning: Self-compassion matters

When highly intelligent women with low self-esteem cultivate self-compassion, it can create a seismic shift in their lives. This powerful practice can help them acknowledge their worth and achievements, break free from harsh self-criticism, and navigate their path with kindness and respect for themselves.

Remember, intelligence is a gift. But so is self-esteem. The journey may not be easy, but nurturing self-compassion could be the key to reconciling these two facets of oneself.