Women who are happy on the surface but lonely underneath usually display these 8 behaviors, according to psychology

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | January 8, 2025, 11:22 am

We all wear masks from time to time. Outwardly, we may seem happy and content, but deep down, things may not be that rosy.

Especially for women, societal expectations often force them to put on a brave face, hiding any feelings of loneliness or inadequacy. But psychology teaches us that there are subtle signs which can reveal the truth.

In this article, we’ll explore 8 behaviors that women who seem happy on the surface, but are actually lonely underneath, often display. It’s a fascinating dive into human behavior and emotions that might make you see things in a different light.

1) Smiling… a lot

It’s natural to assume that a person who smiles a lot is happy. But, according to psychology, excessive smiling can sometimes be a mask for underlying loneliness.

Women who are feeling isolated or alone may overcompensate by putting on a cheerful facade. This is often an attempt to hide their true feelings and avoid drawing attention to their inner struggle.

Remember, a smile is easy to fake. And often, the people who seem the happiest on the outside are fighting the toughest battles on the inside.

So, next time you see a woman who’s always smiling, try looking a little deeper. Her constant cheerfulness may actually be a sign of hidden loneliness. But remember, it’s important not to make assumptions and instead approach with empathy and understanding.

2) Overly helpful

I remember a friend of mine, let’s call her Sarah. Sarah was always the first one to offer help. Whether it was planning a party, helping with work stuff, or just lending an ear when you needed to talk, she was always there.

On the surface, Sarah seemed like the happiest person I knew. But over time, I realized her constant need to help was actually a cry for connection.

According to psychology, women who feel lonely often go out of their way to be helpful. It’s a way of creating bonds and feeling valued. But underneath that helpful exterior, there might be a profound sense of loneliness.

In Sarah’s case, she was struggling with feelings of isolation and used her helpful nature as a way to feel connected. Recognizing this behavior helped me support Sarah in ways that truly mattered. Just like my friend Sarah, there might be many women around us hiding their loneliness under the guise of being overly helpful.

3) Social media overuse

In the digital age, we’re more connected than ever before. But paradoxically, this increased connectivity has also led to increased feelings of isolation. A study found that people who use social media sites heavily are three times more likely to feel socially isolated.

Women who are lonely may find themselves frequently scrolling through social media feeds, engaging in endless online chats, or constantly posting updates. On the surface, they might seem like they’re leading a vibrant social life. But in reality, this could be a sign of loneliness.

The virtual “likes” and comments might give a temporary feeling of connection and validation, but they often don’t fulfill the need for meaningful, in-person interactions. So if you notice a woman in your life spending excessive time on social media, she might be dealing with underlying feelings of loneliness.

4) Avoiding personal questions

We all have moments when we’d rather keep our thoughts to ourselves. But for women who are feeling lonely, this can become a regular pattern.

These women might engage in light-hearted chats, discuss work, or talk about the latest movie, but when it comes to sharing personal details or discussing their feelings, they tend to steer clear.

This avoidance is often a protective measure – a way to hide their true emotions and maintain their happy facade. They fear that opening up about their loneliness might make them vulnerable or be perceived as a sign of weakness.

If a woman in your life often avoids personal topics or seems uncomfortable when the conversation shifts to more intimate matters, it might signal that she’s dealing with loneliness beneath her cheerful exterior.

5) Yearning for deeper connections

We all crave meaningful connections in our lives – relationships that feed our soul and make us feel understood. But for women who are lonely, this yearning can be even more profound.

They might be surrounded by people, engaged in social activities, and even have a busy social calendar. But if these interactions lack depth and genuine connection, they can feel incredibly lonely.

These women crave conversations that go beyond the surface level. They long for relationships where they can be their authentic selves, where their fears and dreams can be shared without judgment.

If you know a woman who seems to be searching for something more in her relationships, who seems unsatisfied despite being socially active, she might be feeling lonely underneath her happy demeanor. Because true connection isn’t about being surrounded by people; it’s about feeling seen, heard, and appreciated.

6) Overworking

There was a time in my life when I was working 12 to 14 hours a day. I was always busy, always occupied, and to others, I probably seemed incredibly dedicated and driven. But looking back, I realize that work had become my escape.

Psychology tells us that women who feel lonely may immerse themselves in work as a distraction. When they’re working, they don’t have to confront their feelings of isolation. They can ignore the void and focus on tasks that give them a sense of purpose.

But work is just a band-aid solution. It doesn’t address the root cause – the loneliness that’s lurking beneath. If you notice a woman in your life who’s working excessively, always staying late at the office or bringing work home, she might be using her job as a shield against loneliness.

7) Preferring animal company

Pets bring a lot of joy and companionship. They provide unconditional love, which can be very comforting, especially to those who feel lonely.

Women who are feeling isolated may often prefer the company of their pets over people. Their furry friends don’t judge, they don’t demand, they just offer love and affection.

While it’s perfectly fine to enjoy the company of pets, if a woman seems to consistently prefer her pet’s company over human interaction, it might be a sign that she’s dealing with feelings of loneliness. It’s a non-threatening way of experiencing companionship, without the fear of rejection or disappointment that human relationships can sometimes bring.

8) Rarely taking time for self-care

Self-care is critical for our mental and emotional well-being. But women who are feeling lonely often neglect their own needs. They might be so focused on maintaining their outward appearance of happiness that they forget to take care of themselves.

Skipping meals, ignoring physical health, or not taking time to relax and rejuvenate – these are all signs of a woman who may be struggling with loneliness. It’s crucial to remember that it’s not selfish to take care of our own needs. In fact, it’s necessary for our overall well-being.

If you notice a woman consistently neglecting her own needs, it could be a sign that she’s dealing with hidden feelings of loneliness. It’s a reminder for us all that taking care of ourselves should always be a priority, no matter what we’re facing in life.