Being a woman in today’s world is far from easy.

There are so many expectations, pressures, and stereotypes that it can be challenging to know who you truly are, let alone feel secure in that identity.

But there are those women out there who manage to rise above it all. Those who are genuinely secure of themselves, not because they’re trying to prove something but because they’ve found inner peace and acceptance.

And believe it or not, these women often exhibit certain behaviors – specific ones, in fact – that they don’t even realize they’re displaying.

These behaviors aren’t about being the loudest or the most noticeable in a room. Instead, they’re subtle signs of security and self-assuredness that shine through in their day-to-day lives.

In this article, we’ll dive into these specific behaviors displayed by genuinely secure women. I promise you, it’s not what you might expect.

1) They don’t seek validation from others

A genuinely secure woman doesn’t need the approval of others to feel good about herself.

She knows her worth, and it’s not tied to how many likes she gets on social media or whether her latest outfit gets compliments.

This doesn’t mean she’s immune to criticism or indifferent to praise. It simply means that she doesn’t let these external factors determine her self-esteem.

She’s able to appreciate compliments without relying on them for self-worth, and she can handle criticism without it shattering her self-image.

This kind of confidence comes from a deep sense of self-assuredness, an understanding that she is enough just as she is.

And that’s a behavior that truly secure women exhibit, often without even realizing it.

2) They’re comfortable with saying no

Another trait I’ve noticed in genuinely secure women is their comfort in saying no.

For a long time, I used to struggle with this. I’d say yes to everything, worried that saying no might make me appear rude or selfish.

But I’ve learned that saying yes to everything often means saying no to myself. It means not prioritizing my own needs and wants. And that’s not a healthy way to live.

Genuinely secure women understand this. They aren’t afraid to put their foot down when they need to, even if it might disappoint someone else.

This deosn’t mean being unkind or selfish – rather, it shows an understanding of their own limits, respecting their own time and energy, and knowing that they have the right to prioritize themselves.

They know that they can’t pour from an empty cup, and they’re not afraid to say no when they need to refill it.

3) They are unapologetically themselves

I remember a time when I would change my behavior, my interests, even my clothing style to fit in with what I thought others expected of me.

It was exhausting and, to be honest, I never really felt like I was being genuine.

Then I met a woman who seemed to radiate self-assuredness. She wore what she wanted, said what she thought, and pursued the hobbies that interested her – regardless of whether they were “cool” or not.

I remember being in awe of her and thinking to myself, “I want to be like that.”

It took some time, but eventually, I began to let go of the need to fit in. I stopped trying to be someone else and started being me. And it was liberating.

Genuinely secure women are just like that. They are comfortable being who they are without feeling the need to conform. They embrace their quirks, their passions, their strengths, and even their weaknesses.

They are unapologetically themselves – and they don’t even realize how powerful that is.

4) They handle failure with grace

Did you know that J.K. Rowling, the author of Harry Potter, was rejected by 12 publishers before Bloomsbury finally accepted her manuscript?

Similarly, genuinely secure women understand that failure is not the end of the world, but merely a stepping stone to success.

They don’t let setbacks crush their spirit or diminish their self-worth. Instead, they learn from their mistakes, pick themselves up, and try again.

They understand that everyone fails at some point and it’s how one deals with failure that truly defines them.

Failure to them is not a reflection of their worthiness, but rather an opportunity for growth and learning. And that’s a behavior they exhibit without even realizing its importance.

5) They celebrate others’ success

There’s a saying that goes, “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”

Genuinely secure women are much the same. They don’t see the achievements of others as a threat to their own success. Instead, they celebrate it.

They understand that someone else’s victory doesn’t diminish their own worth or potential. They can rejoice in others’ happiness and achievements, without feeling envious or insecure about their own journey.

They’re not in competition with anyone but themselves, striving to be the best version of who they can be.

This understanding allows them to genuinely be happy for others, a behavior that many may not even realize they’re exhibiting yet is a sure sign of their secure self-esteem.

6) They practice self-care

In a world that is constantly demanding, it’s easy to forget to take care of oneself. But secure women understand the importance of self-care.

But this isn’t just about treating themselves to a spa day or indulging in their favorite dessert. It goes deeper than that.

Genuinely secure women take care of their mental, emotional, and physical health. They understand that they can’t take care of others if they don’t first look after themselves.

They make time for activities they enjoy, they eat healthily, they exercise, and they ensure they get enough sleep. They’re not afraid to take a step back when things get overwhelming.

Self-care to them is not a luxury, but a necessity. And this behavior is a true reflection of their inner security – even if they don’t quite realize it.

7) They cultivate positive relationships

Relationships play a big role in our lives. They can bring us joy, support, and a sense of belonging. But they can also bring stress, negativity, and self-doubt.

Genuinely secure women tend to gravitate towards positive, uplifting relationships. They surround themselves with people who respect them, value them, and treat them well.

But more importantly, these women also distance themselves from toxic relationships. They understand that it’s better to be alone than in bad company.

They value their peace and happiness too much to allow negative influences into their life. And while setting these boundaries may be tough, it’s a behavior they exhibit without even realizing it – a clear sign of genuine security.

8) They understand the value of self-love

All the other behaviors we’ve discussed, they all come down to one fundamental trait: self-love.

Genuinely secure women truly love and appreciate themselves. They understand their worth and they don’t compromise on it.

They acknowledge their flaws, but they also celebrate their strengths. They’re not overly critical of themselves, nor do they belittle their achievements.

They treat themselves with kindness, respect, and care. They understand that self-love is not a destination, but a journey. A journey that requires patience, understanding, and acceptance.

And even though they might not realize it, this behavior of self-love is perhaps the most telling sign of their genuine security. It’s the foundation upon which all their other behaviors are built. And it’s a behavior that all of us can learn from and aspire to.

Wrapping it up

If you recognize these behaviors in yourself, congratulations! You’re on the path of genuine self-security. If not, don’t worry. These traits are not exclusive to a few, they can be nurtured and developed by anyone.

Start by observing your actions, reactions, and interactions. Do they reflect these behaviors? If not, where can you make changes?

You don’t have to do it all at once. In fact, trying to change everything overnight can be overwhelming. Instead, start small. Pick one behavior that you want to develop and focus on that.

For instance, if you struggle with expressing your true feelings or saying no, start there. Practice speaking your mind in situations that feel safe and gradually work your way up to more challenging scenarios.

Remember the words of psychologist Carl Rogers: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Embrace your current state as a starting point for growth and transformation.

And most importantly, be patient with yourself. Self-growth is a journey, not a destination.

With time and consistent effort, you’ll start noticing changes. You’ll find yourself being more assertive, more comfortable in your skin, and more at peace with who you are. And that’s when you’ll realize – you’re becoming a genuinely secure woman.

So, here’s to your journey of self-discovery and self-love. May it be filled with growth, joy, and authenticity.