Everyone carries their own burdens, and sometimes these burdens are heavier than they appear on the surface.

You may look at your life as a woman and find it hard to pinpoint the source of your discontentment or wonder if what you’re feeling is just a phase, or perhaps, it’s more deeply rooted than that.

How do you discern if what you’re experiencing is genuine unhappiness, or just the regular ebbs and flows of life?

After careful introspection and observations around my life and the lives of other women I know, I have compiled a list of subtle behaviors that often indicate a deep-seated unhappiness. If these behaviors sound familiar, it may be time to address some buried emotions.

1) Constant self-criticism

It’s normal to be critical of oneself from time to time. However, if you find yourself constantly criticizing every action, every decision, and every aspect of your being, it might be more than just a bad habit.

Deep-seated unhappiness often manifests itself as a relentless inner critic. This voice can be so persistent that you start believing its harsh words, leading to a cycle of negativity and self-doubt.

Women who are deeply unhappy often struggle with feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. These feelings can stem from past experiences or societal pressures, but they’re always magnified by the unkind words we tell ourselves.

2) Smiling too much

Smiling is typically associated with happiness and contentment. But what if it’s just a mask hiding a deeper pain?

Counterintuitively, women who are deeply unhappy may often be seen with a smile plastered on their face. They might come across as the life of the party, always cheerful, always bright.

But this constant cheerfulness can sometimes be a defense mechanism, a way to hide the turmoil within.

This isn’t to say that every woman who smiles a lot is unhappy. However, if you find yourself forcing a smile even when you’re feeling miserable inside, it might be worth asking yourself why.

3) Diminished interest in hobbies

We all have activities that we enjoy, hobbies that bring us joy and provide an escape from the everyday mundanity of life. But what happens when these activities no longer hold the same appeal?

A clear sign of deep-seated unhappiness is a diminished interest in things that once brought pleasure.

This could be anything from painting to gardening, cooking, or even reading a good book.

When you’re deeply unhappy, it can feel like the color has been drained out of your world. Activities that once felt engaging and enjoyable can seem dull and uninspiring.

4) Changes in sleeping patterns

Sleep is a fundamental human need. It’s fascinating how our bodies and minds are wired to function optimally with a certain amount of rest. However, when we’re deeply unhappy, our sleeping patterns can take a hit.

Some women might find themselves unable to sleep, lying awake at night ruminating over past events or worrying about the future.

Others might sleep excessively, using it as an escape from the harsh realities of their waking life.

It’s interesting to note that the human body often uses sleep as a coping mechanism during times of stress or unhappiness. Sleep disturbances can be an outward manifestation of inner turmoil.

5) Isolation from loved ones

Humans are social creatures by nature. We crave connection, understanding, and a sense of belonging. Yet, when we’re deeply unhappy, we often do the exact opposite of what our nature dictates – we isolate ourselves.

You might find yourself withdrawing from friends and family, cancelling plans last minute, or simply opting for solitude when given the choice.

You might convince yourself that you’re just introverted or need some alone time to recharge. But deep down, you know it’s more than that.

This self-imposed isolation can stem from a fear of burdening others with your feelings or a misguided belief that you should deal with your unhappiness alone.

6) Overcommitting to work

Work is an essential part of our lives. It provides us with a purpose, a sense of achievement, and of course, financial stability. But when work starts to consume every waking hour, it may signal a deeper issue.

Ironically, women who are deeply unhappy may throw themselves into their work with an intensity that borders on obsession. They might take on extra projects, work late into the night, or simply never seem to switch off from work mode.

On the surface, this might look like ambition or dedication. But often, it’s a way to distract oneself from the underlying unhappiness. 

7) Ignoring self-care

Self-care is an essential part of maintaining our physical, emotional, and mental health. It’s about taking time to nurture ourselves, to rest and rejuvenate. But when we’re deeply unhappy, self-care is often the first thing to go out the window.

You might find yourself skipping meals, neglecting exercise, or disregarding your own needs in favor of others. This lack of self-care can be a manifestation of the belief that you are undeserving of care or happiness.

The irony is that ignoring self-care only amplifies feelings of unhappiness and worthlessness. It’s a vicious cycle that can be hard to break free from.

8) Understanding the complexity of unhappiness

Unhappiness is not a single, unchanging state of being. It’s a complex tapestry woven from a multitude of threads – personal experiences, emotional patterns, societal pressures, and even biological factors.

Without a doubt, recognizing the signs of deep-seated unhappiness is crucial. However, understanding the complexity of this emotion and how it manifests in your life is equally as important.

For instance, consider the societal expectations placed on women. Often, women are expected to be nurturing, caring, and always putting others’ needs before their own. Such expectations can create a pressure to appear happy and content even when they’re not, leading to behaviors like excessive smiling or overcommitting to work.

Addressing deep-seated unhappiness is not an overnight process. It takes time, patience, and often professional help. If you’re struggling with unhappiness, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. There’s no shame in seeking help; in fact, it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness.

Embracing self-love

When we’re deeply unhappy, we often neglect self-love. We criticize ourselves harshly, ignore our own needs, and sometimes even convince ourselves that we’re unworthy of happiness. But the truth is, each one of us is deserving of love and care – especially from ourselves.

Embracing self-love means honoring your feelings and allowing yourself to experience them fully – be it joy, sadness, or anything in between. It means taking care of your physical health by eating healthily, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. It involves setting boundaries in personal and professional relationships and saying no when something doesn’t serve you.

But perhaps most importantly, embracing self-love involves forgiving yourself for your perceived shortcomings and accepting yourself as you are – perfectly imperfect. It means recognizing that you’re a work in progress and that it’s okay not to have all the answers.

And remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Reach out to loved ones or seek professional help if you need to. There’s a whole world of people who care about you and want to see you happy. So take that step towards self-love – because you deserve it.