There’s an old saying that goes, “Eyes are the windows to the soul”. But sometimes, people do a great job of pulling down the blinds.

Women are often masters of this – putting on a brave face when they’re feeling anything but. This is particularly true for those who are deeply unhappy but maintain a positive facade.

This doesn’t mean they’re fake or insincere. It simply means they’ve mastered the art of hiding their pain, often for the sake of others.

But no matter how good they are at this, subtle behaviors can give them away. As someone who’s been there, I’ve identified 8 subtle behaviors that these women usually display. Let’s dive in.

1) They’re often the life of the party

You know that woman who’s always smiling, cracking jokes, and making everyone laugh? That’s her. The one who seems to light up every room she enters? Yup, still her.

But beneath that cheerful exterior, she’s fighting a silent battle. She’s deeply unhappy but has learned to hide it behind a mask of positivity and high energy.

This isn’t to suggest that every outgoing, sociable woman is unhappy. Far from it. But it’s a common trait among those who are battling inner demons – they overcompensate. They’re often the life of the party because they don’t want their pain to become other people’s burden.

It’s a subtle behavior, but once you’re aware of it, you’ll start to notice. Keep an eye out for those who seem to be trying just a little too hard to keep everyone else smiling – they might be the ones in need of a smile themselves.

2) They’re exceptionally good listeners

I remember a friend of mine, let’s call her Sarah. She was always there for everyone. No matter what time it was or what she was going through herself, she’d drop everything to lend an ear.

And she was good at it. She knew how to listen, how to empathize, how to make you feel seen and heard. It was comforting, knowing that Sarah was there.

But over time, I noticed something odd. While she was always ready to listen to others, she rarely spoke about herself. When pressed, she’d brush it off with a laugh or a quick change of subject.

I later found out that Sarah was deeply unhappy. She’d been struggling with personal issues for years but chose to focus on others instead of addressing her own pain.

It’s a common trait among women who maintain a positive facade despite their unhappiness – they’re exceptional listeners. They’re so busy helping others navigate their problems that they neglect their own. It’s a subtle behavior and one that’s easy to miss unless you know what you’re looking for.

3) They’re often excessively generous

Did you know that people who are deeply unhappy often exhibit high levels of generosity? It seems counterintuitive, but it’s true.

Women who are deeply unhappy but maintain a positive facade usually go to great lengths to make others feel good. This includes being overly generous – with their time, their resources, and even their emotional energy.

They’re the ones always bringing treats to the office, volunteering for extra tasks, or offering to help out in any way they can. They give, give, and give some more, often at the expense of their own wellbeing.

This isn’t to say that all generous people are unhappy. But when generosity becomes excessive and self-sacrificing, it can be a sign of deeper issues. They’re trying to find happiness by making others happy – a noble, yet often exhausting endeavor.

4) They’re usually perfectionists

Perfectionism is often admired in our society. It’s seen as a sign of dedication, high standards, and a strong work ethic. But it can also be a mask for deep-seated unhappiness.

Women who are unhappy but maintain a positive facade often set impossibly high standards for themselves. They strive for perfection in everything they do, from their work to their appearance to their relationships.

When they inevitably fall short of these unrealistic expectations, they beat themselves up. But to the outside world, they appear dedicated, disciplined, and successful.

Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. It can drive you to achieve great things, but it can also leave you feeling perpetually dissatisfied and unhappy. Be aware of this subtle behavior – it’s often a sign of deeper struggles.

5) They struggle with self-care

It breaks my heart to see this, but it’s a common thread among women who are deeply unhappy yet put on a brave face: they struggle with self-care.

These women are often so busy caring for everyone else that they forget to take care of themselves. They neglect their physical health, their mental wellbeing, their emotional needs. They put themselves last, always.

You’ll notice they’re the ones who skip meals because they’re “too busy”, or stay up late working on a project while everyone else is asleep. They’ll brush off their exhaustion with a laugh and say they’re fine, but in reality, they’re running on empty.

It’s a cry for help that often goes unnoticed. If you see someone neglecting their own needs while taking care of others, reach out. Let them know it’s okay to prioritize themselves. Sometimes, that’s all they need to hear.

6) They’re always apologizing

I used to say sorry a lot. For things that weren’t my fault. For things that didn’t require an apology. It was like an automatic response, a reflex I couldn’t control.

This constant need to apologize is another subtle behavior displayed by women who are deeply unhappy but maintain a positive facade. They feel an inherent need to apologize – for taking up space, for expressing their feelings, for simply existing.

This behavior often stems from a deep-seated belief that they’re a burden to others. They’re so caught up in their own struggle that they start to believe they’re causing inconvenience or discomfort to those around them.

So, they apologize. Again and again. A silent plea for validation, acceptance, and love. It’s heartbreaking, and it’s a sign that they need understanding and support.

7) They’re often isolated

Despite their outward cheerfulness, many women who maintain a positive facade while being deeply unhappy tend to isolate themselves. They’re surrounded by people, yet they feel alone.

They may have a wide social circle and be well-liked, but they rarely let anyone get close. They keep their relationships on the surface, avoiding deep emotional connections for fear of revealing their true selves.

This isolation is often self-imposed. They believe that by keeping people at arm’s length, they can protect both themselves and others from their unhappiness.

It’s a survival mechanism, a way to cope with their internal struggle. But it only intensifies their loneliness, creating a vicious cycle that’s hard to break free from. Being aware of this behavior is the first step toward offering help and understanding.

8) They’re incredible at hiding their pain

The most important thing to understand about women who are deeply unhappy but maintain a positive facade is this: they’re experts at hiding their pain.

They’ve mastered the art of concealing their true feelings, of putting on a brave face even when they’re falling apart inside. They smile, they laugh, they carry on as if everything is fine. But behind that facade, they’re struggling.

This ability to hide their pain is both their greatest strength and their biggest weakness. It allows them to function, to keep going despite their unhappiness. But it also prevents them from seeking help, from letting others in.

Recognizing this behavior is crucial because it’s often the only sign that something is wrong. If you can see past the facade, you can offer support, understanding, and kindness – and sometimes, that can make all the difference.