I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been called “one of the boys.”

It’s funny, though, because being labeled that way never felt like a conscious choice. It’s just who I was—who I am.

Growing up, I didn’t swap my femininity for rough-and-tumble camaraderie; I just found myself somewhere in between, where action figures felt as natural as nail polish.

For those of us who have lived this, it’s not a rejection of anything, but rather an invitation into a different world—a world where gender lines blur, friendships run deep, and you just…fit.

And trust me, there’s more to this story than meets the eye.

1) Early introduction to boyish hobbies

For many of us women who are often seen as “one of the boys”, it’s not unusual to trace our roots back to a childhood immersed in what are traditionally considered ‘boyish’ hobbies.

Think about it. Whether it was joining the neighborhood kids for a game of football, or swapping dolls for action figures, our interests weren’t dictated by gender norms.

We were not rejecting our femininity. We simple wanted to expand our horizons. We didn’t shy away from getting our hands dirty or fear being called a tomboy.

And it wasn’t just in the activities themselves, but in the friendships and bonds they helped us form. This unique perspective helped shape our interactions and relationships as we grew older.

2) Learning to hold your own

Growing up as “one of the boys”, I learned early on how to stand my ground. For instance, I remember one particular summer during my childhood.

The neighborhood kids and I had formed a makeshift baseball team. I was the only girl, but that didn’t matter to me, or to them.

We were all just kids, trying to hit a home run with a worn-out bat and a ball that had seen better days.

One afternoon, a new kid joined our game. He was older and immediately pointed out that I was the only girl.

He suggested I should sit out since it was a “boys’ game”. I remember feeling my cheeks burn, not out of embarrassment, but defiance.

Without missing a beat, I challenged him to a one-on-one match. If he won, I’d sit out the rest of the summer games. But if I won, he’d never again question my place on the team.

Long story short, he never questioned me again.

That day taught me an important lesson – being a girl didn’t mean I had to take a backseat.

And this experience has echoed throughout my life, shaping who I am today: A woman who can hold her own in any situation.

3) Developing a thick skin

Being constantly labeled as “one of the boys” often means having to develop a thick skin. The casual rough-and-tumble play, the playful banter, the endless pranks – they all require a certain resilience.

Girls who grow up in predominantly male environments can develop higher levels of emotional resilience compared to their peers.

This is likely due to the direct and assertive communication style common in male groups.

This resilience is not just beneficial during childhood, but it also plays a crucial role in later life.

It prepares us for dealing with criticism and adversity, and allows us to bounce back from setbacks more easily.

But while resilience can be a strength, it’s also important to keep in mind that it’s okay to be vulnerable and sensitive. After all, we’re all human, regardless of how thick our skin may be.

4) Shared responsibility

One of the hallmarks of growing up as “one of the boys” is the shared responsibility that comes with it.

It’s not just being included in the fun and games, but also bearing an equal part of the duties and obligations.

Whether it was setting up a makeshift goalpost for a soccer game or cleaning up after an adventurous day in the park, the responsibilities were shared equally, regardless of gender.

The concept of “boys’ tasks” and “girls’ tasks” didn’t exist in our world.

This early introduction to shared responsibility instills a sense of equality and fairness that often carries into our adult lives. It influences how we view household chores, work responsibilities, and even our relationships.

In essence, being “one of the boys” taught us that responsibility and duty are not gender-exclusive, but a shared burden that everyone should bear.

5) Embracing authenticity

Growing up as “one of the boys”, many of us learned the importance of authenticity.

We didn’t feel the need to change ourselves to fit into a certain mold or to meet societal expectations of what a girl should be.

If we wanted to climb trees, we climbed trees. If we wanted to play with action figures instead of dolls, we did. There was no pretense, no facade. We were simply being ourselves, doing what we enjoyed.

This lesson in authenticity often sticks with us throughout life. As adults, we strive to be true to ourselves and resist societal pressures that try to define us by our gender.

Whether it’s in our career choices, our friendships, or even our fashion statement, the freedom to be authentic is a gift we owe to our childhood as “one of the boys”.

6) Cherishing deep friendships

Friendships born out of being “one of the boys” often have a depth and strength that is hard to match. The bonds forged in childhood games, shared adventures, and mutual respect can last a lifetime.

These relationships go beyond shared interests or common activities. They’re built on a foundation of trust, loyalty, and mutual understanding.

We know we can count on these friends to be there for us in times of need. They’ve seen us at our best and our worst, and they’ve stood by us regardless.

These friendships remind us that we are valued for who we are, not just for our gender. They teach us the importance of true connections and genuine relationships.

Even as we age and life takes us on different paths, these friendships remain a cherished part of our past, shaping our present and influencing our future.

Growing up as “one of the boys” has given us friendships that are not just memorable, but truly heartfelt.

7) Managing societal expectations

When you grow up as “one of the boys,” you often find yourself at odds with societal expectations.

I remember the first time I wore a dress to a school event. I’d always preferred jeans and sneakers, but this time I wanted to try something different.

The reactions were mixed—some were surprised, others confused, and a few even teased me about it. It was a small incident, but it made me realize how deeply ingrained gender stereotypes are in our society.

Research supports this idea, highlighting how social norms often dictate behavior in subtle yet powerful ways.

A study by Gross and Vostroknutov (2021) found that people tend to follow social norms because of internalized beliefs or concerns about their social and self-image, even when their actions go unnoticed.

This can explain why moments like wearing a dress to break the mold feel significant—they challenge long-standing, often unspoken, rules we’ve absorbed over time.

But just because I enjoyed playing football or didn’t mind getting muddy didn’t mean I couldn’t also enjoy wearing a pretty dress.

It was a lesson in balance, understanding that being “one of the boys” didn’t confine me to a certain box. I wanted to embrace all facets of my personality.

8) Becoming a bridge

Women who grow up as “one of the boys” often find themselves playing the role of a bridge between genders. We understand the dynamics of both sides and can navigate them with ease.

We can relate to the experiences of our male friends, but we also understand the perspectives of our female peers. This unique position allows us to foster understanding and communication between the two.

Whether it’s debunking stereotypes, promoting empathy, or encouraging open discussions, our experiences enable us to bridge the gap and create a more inclusive environment.

Being a bridge does not dilute our identity. It actually helps us use our unique position to foster better understanding and mutual respect among our peers.

And this role often extends beyond our childhood, influencing our interactions and relationships throughout our lives.

9) Embracing diversity

The most crucial takeaway from growing up as “one of the boys” is learning to embrace diversity. We learn that interests, hobbies, and behaviors are not confined by gender.

We learn to value people for their individuality rather than their gender stereotypes.

We appreciate differences and understand that diversity enriches our experiences and broadens our perspectives.

This understanding underpins our interactions, shaping how we view the world and our place in it.

We recognize the importance of diversity in all aspects of life, and we strive to promote it wherever we go.

Final thoughts

Looking back, I realize being “one of the boys” wasn’t just a phase.

The friendships, the resilience, the shared responsibility, and the way I learned to navigate the world with authenticity all became part of who I am today.

I didn’t grow up trying to prove anything to anyone, I just embraced what felt right at the time.

And maybe that’s the secret. The freedom to explore all sides of yourself, without worrying about how it fits into some neat, little box.

You know, there’s something incredibly empowering about growing up outside the usual rules. And whether you were out climbing trees or breaking barriers, you’ve got your own story of how it shaped you.

It’s a journey worth reflecting on—not just for the past it represents, but for how it continues to influence the way you live your life today.