Trust is a crucial component in a relationship, but sometimes we stretch the truth, thinking it’s for the best.

But let’s be honest, all lies, even white ones, are like termites that can ultimately undermine the foundation of trust in a relationship.

Hi there, I’m Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a seasoned relationship expert.

I’ve spent years guiding couples through the labyrinth of love and one thing I’ve noted is how white lies can slowly erode even the strongest bonds.

In my experience, it’s always better to be upfront with your partner.

Here are eight white lies you should never tell your partner according to my professional advice.

Let’s dive into some truth-telling, shall we?

1) “I’m fine”

We’ve all been there. Something’s bothering you, but when your partner asks what’s wrong, you simply respond with “I’m fine”.

Listen, I get it. Sometimes it’s easier to avoid conflict than to confront it.

But let me tell you from years of counselling couples, this white lie is not harmless.

You see, while you might think you’re maintaining peace by saying “I’m fine”, it actually creates uncertainty and tension in your relationship.

Your partner isn’t a mind reader. If something’s up, they deserve to know.

Plus, openly discussing what’s bothering you can pave the way for resolution and can even strengthen your relationship.

2) “You’re the best I’ve ever had”

As we navigate through our relationships, it’s only natural to want to make our partners feel special and cherished.

And sometimes, in trying to do that, we might resort to telling them they’re the “best” we’ve ever had.

But here’s a word of caution from my years of experience – comparisons to past relationships can be a slippery slope.

Even if it’s meant as a compliment, this white lie can lead to unnecessary pressure and insecurity.

It brings the focus onto your past, when it should be on the present and future with your current partner.

Like Audrey Hepburn once said, “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

Instead of focusing on how your partner compares to others, focus on what makes them uniquely wonderful.

There are countless ways to express love and appreciation without stirring up ghosts from the past.

3) “I didn’t see your message”

Okay, let’s be real. We’ve all said this at some point.

You’re busy or not in the mood to chat, and you end up ignoring a text or call from your partner.

And when they ask you about it later, you say, “Oh, I didn’t see your message.”

When you tell this white lie, you’re essentially saying that their communication isn’t important to you.

Over time, this can lead to feelings of being undervalued and taken for granted.

Respectful communication is key in any relationship. If you’re not in the mood or too busy to communicate, it’s better to be honest about it.

A simple “I saw your message but I’m swamped right now. Can we talk later?” goes a long way in maintaining healthy communication lines in your relationship.

4) “I love it”

You know that moment when your partner gifts you something that’s not quite to your taste, and you respond with an enthusiastic “I love it!” to spare their feelings?

Seems like the kind thing to do, right?

Well, from a relationship expert’s perspective, it’s actually not.

You see, when you express love for something you don’t really care for, you’re encouraging your partner to repeat the same actions or choices in the future.

It might seem harmless now, but down the line, it can lead to frustration and misunderstanding.

Instead of resorting to this white lie, try expressing gratitude for the gesture while gently hinting towards your actual preferences.

This way, you’re being honest without hurting your partner’s feelings and also nudging them towards better understanding you.

5) “I agree with you”

In relationships, we often find ourselves agreeing with our partners just to avoid conflict or to keep the peace.

Can I let you in on a little secret from my own relationship? I’ve been there too.

But over time, I’ve realized that always saying “I agree with you” when I really don’t, doesn’t do any good for the relationship.

Sure, it might avoid an argument in the short term, but in the long run, it can lead to resentment and a feeling of not being true to yourself.

And trust me, those feelings can be much harder to resolve.

It’s important to remember that a healthy relationship is one where both individuals can express their own opinions and feelings openly, even if they do not align.

6) “I’m not upset with you”

Let’s get real here. Relationships aren’t all rainbows and butterflies.

There are times when your partner is bound to upset you. However, in an attempt to avoid conflict or to not hurt their feelings, you might find yourself saying, “I’m not upset with you.”

But here’s the raw truth – bottling up your feelings and ignoring your hurt doesn’t make it disappear.

It simply festers, quietly undermining the trust and intimacy in your relationship.

It’s okay to be upset with your partner. What matters is how you communicate it.

Instead of masking your feelings with a white lie, express that you’re hurt and explain why. This opens the door for understanding, healing, and growth in your relationship.

7) “It doesn’t bother me”

Picture this. Your partner does something that irks you, but instead of voicing your discomfort, you brush it off saying, “It doesn’t bother me.” 

When you constantly dismiss your feelings, you’re not giving your partner the chance to understand and respect your boundaries.

This lack of communication can lead to repeated hurt and frustration.

Expressing what bothers you in a relationship may feel uncomfortable at first, but it fosters understanding and mutual respect in the long run.

8) “I trust you completely”

Trust is the bedrock of any relationship and saying “I trust you completely” sounds like the epitome of a strong bond.

But let me give it to you straight – blind trust can be equally harmful.

Here’s the raw truth – we’re all human and we all make mistakes.

Putting your partner on a pedestal of complete trust can set unrealistic expectations and lead to severe disappointment when they inevitably falter.

In reality, trust is not an all-or-nothing concept. It’s okay to have doubts, questions and concerns. It’s healthy to have boundaries and expectations in place.

Instead of stating absolute trust, try working towards open communication, understanding, and mutual respect. These are the real building blocks of a strong, trusting relationship.

Conclusion

And there you have it, folks – eight white lies you should never tell your partner.

Remember, no matter how harmless they might seem, these fibs can slowly but surely erode trust and authenticity in your relationship.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I dive deeper into these dynamics and share strategies to foster honest communication.

Because at the end of the day, honesty really is the best policy in love.

So let’s pledge to drop the white lies and embrace authenticity in our relationships. Trust me, your relationship will be stronger for it.