8 ways to spot a genuinely empathetic person, according to psychology

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | September 5, 2024, 2:53 pm

You meet people daily, converse, laugh, and share moments. However, something is missing in most of these interactions.

You have this nagging thought that you’re looking for empathy. How do you identify it when everyone seems to be wearing a mask?

Here’s a guide to help you spot a genuinely empathetic person and navigate the sea of well-rehearsed smiles and hollow sympathies.

1) They truly listen

Listening is an art, and only some have mastered it.

Every day, we meet people who nod, smile, and utter the occasional ‘uh-huh,’ but are they listening?

Real listening is more than just hearing the words being said. It’s about understanding, absorbing, and responding to show you’ve genuinely grasped what the other person is saying.

An empathetic person will listen not just to your words but also to your emotions, body language, and unspoken thoughts. They will make you feel heard and understood.

If you find someone who does this, chances are they are a genuinely empathetic person.

They are rare in a world where everyone is in a rush, but they can change your perspective on human interaction once you find them.

2) They sense emotions

Having someone listen to you is lovely, but comprehending your emotions, even when you can’t articulate them, is something else entirely.

One time, I was going through a rough patch. On the surface, I seemed fine, but I was a mess inside.

This friend of mine, we hadn’t known each other for long, but she sensed it. She just looked at me and said, “You’re not okay, are you?”

I was taken aback. How did my friend know? I had been hiding it so well. However, she saw through it all.

Genuinely compassionate people don’t just listen to your words; they read between the lines and feel your feelings.

They see beyond the facade and touch the real you. And honestly, isn’t that just what we all need?

3) They show genuine concern

I remember this incident vividly. I had the flu and felt miserable.

When a colleague stopped by my desk, he looked genuinely worried and asked if I needed help. He even offered to drive me home if I needed it.

What struck me was not just his offer but the sincerity in his eyes. He meant what he said.

Empathetic people don’t just express concern; they feel it. They sincerely care about the well-being of others and are willing to go out of their way to help.

4) They use empathetic language

Language is a powerful tool. It can reveal a lot about a person, including their level of empathy.

I was once talking to a friend about a challenging situation I was facing. Instead of brushing it off or offering unsolicited advice, she said, “That sounds difficult. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.”

Her words resonated with me.

This type of language indicates that they are not just hearing your issues but are genuinely trying to understand and relate to your feelings.

5) They validate your feelings

Being heard is one thing, but having your feelings validated is another level of understanding.

I recall being upset about something that seemed trivial to others. I was hesitant to talk about it, fearing judgment or dismissal. But when I eventually shared it with a friend, his response surprised me.

He didn’t laugh it off or tell me I was overreacting. Instead, he said, “It’s okay to feel this way. Your feelings are valid.”

That simple affirmation made me feel understood and accepted. It was okay to feel what I was feeling.

Compassionate people have a knack for validating others’ feelings. They don’t dismiss or belittle your emotions but accept and acknowledge them, making you feel comfortable in your emotional skin.

6) They share in your joy

I remember the day I got promoted at my job. I was over the moon, and one person who matched my excitement was my best friend. She wasn’t just happy for me; she was ecstatic as if it was her achievement.

Her eyes sparkled with genuine joy for my success, and her enthusiasm doubled my happiness. It was a shared moment of pure pleasure.

If you notice someone sharing your joy, you’ve likely spotted an empathetic person. They can make your happiness their own, adding a special touch to your moments of pleasure.

7) They remain non-judgmental

We’ve all been in situations where we’re afraid to share our thoughts or feelings due to the fear of being judged.

There was a time when I was battling some personal issues. Most people wouldn’t understand, and I was scared of being judged. But then, I met this person who listened to my story with an open mind and heart.

There were no raised eyebrows, no snide comments, just pure understanding. It felt like a safe space to be myself without fearing judgment.

When someone gives you the freedom to be yourself without fear of judgment, they are empathetic.

8) They show compassion through actions

Words can be cheap, but actions speak volumes.

I had a friend who was always there for me. When my father was hospitalized, she was the first one to show up, not just with comforting words but with actions.

She helped with the chores, stayed up nights with me, and silently supported me through one of the most challenging times of my life.

It wasn’t just sympathy; it was genuine compassion that moved her to act, to ease my burden in whatever way she could.

Final thoughts

The traits we’ve discussed are not just signs to spot in others but qualities to foster in our lives. Each of us has the capacity for deep empathy.

Take a moment and reflect. Do you listen with an open heart? Do you validate others’ feelings? Do you resonate with their joy and share in their pain?

So, let’s strive to be people who listen, understand, and validate. Let’s be the change we wish to see in the world.

Let’s be empathetic.