7 ways to reclaim your integrity after realizing you’ve lost it

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | November 23, 2023, 6:39 pm

We’ve all had those moments where we look in the mirror and don’t quite recognize the person staring back.

It’s a sinking feeling, realizing you’ve lost something as crucial as your integrity.

I’ve been there, trust me.

And I’m here to tell you, it’s not the end of the world. Not even close.

Sure, it’s a punch in the gut. But it’s also a wake-up call, a chance to take stock and make some changes.

So if you’re feeling this way right now, you’re not alone.

And I’m here to help you navigate your way back.

In this article, we’ll explore seven ways to reclaim your integrity after realizing you’ve lost it.

Bear in mind, I’m not here to judge or make you feel worse. Instead, my goal is to give you the tools you need to rebuild your sense of self.

Ready?

Let’s dive in.

1) Reflect on your actions

The first step I took was to reflect on my actions.

I remember sitting down one evening, notebook in hand, and writing down every instance where I felt like my integrity took a hit. It wasn’t an easy task, and it certainly wasn’t fun. But, it was necessary.

Looking at those instances written down on paper, it was clear where I had gone wrong.

I had let my ambition cloud my judgment, I had allowed myself to be influenced by the wrong people, and in some cases, I had simply made poor decisions.

It hurt to see it all laid bare like that, but it also gave me a starting point.

After acknowledging where you’ve gone wrong, the next natural step is making things right. Just as I realized my mistakes by reflecting, I also understood the importance of taking responsibility for them…

2) Apologize and make amends

Once I had identified where I went wrong, the next step was to apologize and make amends.

This was probably the hardest part. Not because I didn’t want to apologize – but because it meant owning up to my mistakes and facing the consequences.

There was a time when I had promised a colleague that I would back up their proposal in a team meeting. But when the time came, I backed out because of fear of contradicting the manager.

I eventually gathered the courage to apologize to them. It didn’t change what happened, but it helped me regain some of my self-respect. And surprisingly, they appreciated my honesty.

Remember, you might not be able to fix everything – some bridges may be permanently burned. But acknowledging your mistakes is a crucial step in reclaiming your integrity.

Once you’ve started the process of making amends, it becomes clear how vital honesty is in maintaining integrity.

Apologizing is just the beginning; the real journey is in committing to honesty in every aspect of your life. It’s not just about saying sorry, but about a fundamental shift towards truthfulness in all your dealings…

3) Cultivate honesty

In order to regain integrity, honesty must become your best friend.

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who make a conscious effort to be more honest actually experience less mental and physical health problems.

You see, when we lie, even about small things, it can cause stress because our fear of being found out is always at the back of our minds.

Making a conscious effort to tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, not only helps rebuild integrity but also contributes to an overall healthier lifestyle. It’s a win-win situation.

As you embrace honesty, you’ll find that empathy naturally follows. Being truthful opens up a path to understanding others better. You start to see things from their perspective, feeling what they feel, which is the essence of empathy.

It’s a crucial element in rebuilding the bridge of trust and integrity.

4) Lead with empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s a powerful tool for rebuilding integrity.

When we make mistakes, it’s easy to get wrapped up in our own guilt or shame. But by shifting our focus onto the people we’ve hurt or let down, we can gain a new perspective.

It’s like when you see a child crying because they’ve dropped their ice cream. Your heart aches for them because you understand their disappointment.

That’s empathy.

And by leading with empathy in our actions and decisions, we not only show others that we care about their feelings, but we also demonstrate that we’re committed to doing better. And that’s a key part of rebuilding integrity.

Empathy not only helps us connect with others but also guides us in setting personal standards.

When you understand the impact of your actions on others, you’re inspired to establish boundaries that reflect your values. It’s about deciding what’s truly important to you and living by those principles.

5) Set personal standards

When I started my journey to regain my integrity, I realized the importance of setting personal standards.

I used to have a habit of saying yes to everything, even when it was at the expense of my own values. I would compromise on my principles just to please others or avoid conflict. But that was a big mistake.

So, I decided to set boundaries. I identified my non-negotiables – things I would not compromise on no matter what. This included always speaking up for what’s right, keeping my promises, and respecting others’ boundaries.

Setting these personal standards gave me a roadmap to navigate tricky situations. Whenever I was unsure about what to do, I would refer back to these standards. It helped me stay true to myself and regain my integrity.

It won’t be easy initially, and you might face resistance from others. But remember, you’re doing this for yourself. Because you owe it to yourself to live a life that aligns with your values.

Of course, setting these standards is just the start. Upholding them consistently is where patience and persistence come into play.

Just like any new habit, living by your personal standards takes time and dedication. It’s a journey of small steps, each one bringing you closer to the person you want to be.

6) Practice patience and persistence

Regaining integrity isn’t a one-time event. It’s a journey that requires patience and persistence.

There will be times when you will be tempted to revert to your old ways. There will be instances where it seems easier to let go of your personal standards or tell a small lie. But remember, that’s how you lost your integrity in the first place.

It’s like growing a plant. You can’t expect it to bloom overnight. It needs time, care, and consistent effort. And sometimes, even after all the hard work, the plant might not grow as expected. That’s when you need to be patient and keep nurturing it.

And while you’re practicing patience, remember the environment you’re in plays a huge role. It’s hard to maintain your integrity if you’re constantly surrounded by negativity.

That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with positive influences, people who support and encourage your journey towards integrity.

7) Surround yourself with positive influences

Finally, it’s important to surround yourself with positive influences.

When I was trying to rebuild my integrity, I realized that some people around me were not conducive to my journey. They didn’t respect my personal standards and often encouraged behavior that was against my values.

So, I made the tough decision to distance myself from them and instead surround myself with people who inspired me and reinforced positive behavior.

You know what they say – you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So, make sure those five people are ones who uphold integrity and inspire you to do the same.

Conclusion

Reclaiming your integrity after realizing you’ve lost it isn’t easy. But it’s definitely worth it because at the end of the day, your integrity defines who you are. And no achievement or success can compensate for lost integrity.

Remember, it’s never too late to start this journey. Every step you take towards regaining your integrity is a step towards becoming a better version of yourself.

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