9 warning signs your partner isn’t being honest about their feelings

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | May 9, 2024, 4:38 pm

There’s a thin line between protecting someone’s feelings and outright deception.

The difference boils down to honesty. When your partner isn’t being straightforward about their feelings, they may be trying to shield you from pain or discomfort, but are simultaneously hiding their true sentiments.

Conversely, an open and honest relationship allows for authentic emotional expression, even if it’s not always rosy.

Recognizing these signs is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. And trust me, there are certain telltale signs that your partner may not be completely honest about their feelings.

Here are 9 red flags to keep in mind when it comes to your partner’s emotional honesty.

1) Change in communication patterns

Communication is the backbone of any relationship.

And, as they say, actions speak louder than words.

Often, a shift in your partner’s communication style can be a significant hint that they’re not being completely honest about their feelings.

Maybe they’ve grown quieter than usual, or perhaps they’re avoiding certain topics altogether. They might even be overly defensive or unnecessarily argumentative.

This isn’t about occasional mood swings or a bad day at work; it’s about a noticeable shift that lasts over time.

2) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact can be a powerful way to gauge someone’s honesty.

In my own experience, I remember a time when my partner started avoiding eye contact.

We used to have these wonderful conversations where we’d look at each other, really connect. But then I noticed a change. Suddenly, whenever we talked about anything of substance, he’d focus on anything but my eyes.

At first, I thought he was just distracted or maybe even a little tired. But it persisted and that’s when I realized it might be something more.

It was a tough realization but understanding this sign helped me address the issue head-on.

3) They’re suddenly overly affectionate

When a partner isn’t honest about their feelings, they might overcompensate by being excessively affectionate. In psychology, we call it “love bombing.”

It’s an intriguing psychological response. Many people subconsciously believe that by showering their partner with love and attention, they can mask their true feelings or divert attention from the actual issues at hand.

This sudden surge of affection isn’t always a cause for concern. But if it feels out of character or is accompanied by other warning signs, it may be worth having an open conversation about it.

4) Their body language changes

Body language can tell us a lot about a person’s feelings.

Often, when someone isn’t being honest about their emotions, their body language tends to give them away. They might cross their arms during a conversation, avoid physical contact, or even show signs of discomfort like fidgeting.

These subtle shifts in body language can signal that there’s more going on beneath the surface.

However, it’s essential to remember that everyone’s body language is different and can be influenced by various factors. So while it’s a good sign to watch out for, it shouldn’t be the only one you rely on.

5) They avoid future planning

Planning for a future together is a pretty significant part of any serious relationship.

But what if your partner starts avoiding such discussions?

If your partner seems uninterested or evasive when you bring up future plans, it could be a sign that they’re not being honest about their feelings. They might feel uncertain about the relationship’s future and are struggling to express this.

6) They start pulling away

You might notice that they’re spending less time with you, or their hugs don’t feel as warm as they used to. Maybe they’re not as excited to share their day with you, or they seem distant even when you’re in the same room.

This could be a sign that they’re wrestling with feelings they’re not ready to express yet.

It’s tough, I know. But remember, recognizing these signs is the first step towards addressing them.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and it’s through these challenging times that we often grow the most. Have courage, and remember that honesty – however difficult – paves the way for deeper connection.

7) They become secretive

There was a time when my partner started becoming very secretive.

I noticed he would step out of the room to take calls, his phone was always on silent, and he would quickly close his laptop whenever I walked by. It felt like he had built a wall around him that I couldn’t penetrate.

While everyone is entitled to their privacy, excessive secrecy can indicate that your partner is hiding something. Their actions might stem from a place of fear or guilt about their true feelings.

It’s essential to approach this issue with sensitivity. Accusations won’t help; instead, expressing your observations and feelings in a non-confrontational manner can pave the way for open dialogue.

8) They deflect or avoid emotional conversations

A crucial part of any relationship is the ability to have deep, emotional conversations.

But what if your partner starts avoiding these?

If they’re consistently deflecting emotional topics, it could be a sign that they’re not being fully honest about their feelings. They might feel uncomfortable opening up about their emotions or are unsure how to express them.

It’s important to recognize these signs and approach your partner in a non-threatening manner. Encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings, showing them that it’s safe to be vulnerable with you.

9) Trust your instincts

Your gut feeling is often your best guide.

If something doesn’t feel right, if you sense that your partner isn’t being honest about their feelings, trust that instinct. Your intuition is a powerful tool and can often pick up on subtle cues that your conscious mind might miss.

However, it’s essential to balance instinct with open communication. If you feel something is off, address it with your partner in a respectful and loving manner.

Final thoughts: it’s about connection

In the context of our relationships, this means breaking through barriers of fear or dishonesty. It means having the courage to address issues and navigate emotional landscapes together.

Whether you’ve noticed one or more of these signs in your partner, remember: open communication is key. Approach them with empathy and patience, fostering a safe space where honesty can thrive.

After all, relationships aren’t just about two people being together. They’re about two individuals choosing to share their worlds, their emotions, and their truths with each other.