As an early childhood teacher, I’ve had my fair share of great parents and parents who, well, let’s just say they didn’t quite live up to the task. 

I know it’s harsh to say that there are certain types of people who should probably never have children.

But let’s face it, parenting is one of the most important jobs—if not THE most important—in the world. 

Kids deserve parents who will truly look after their best interests in every possible way.

Unfortunately, not everyone is equipped for that role. 

According to psychologists, here are 7 types of people who should probably never have children: 

1) The self-centered 

First up, we’ve got the self-centered type. 

Now, all of us have some degree of self-centeredness in us, but what I’m talking about here are those people who can’t seem to focus on anyone but themselves.

The ones with definite “main character syndrome” to the point of dysfunction.

As the folks at Psych Central describe it: 

“Main character syndrome is often unhealthy and causes people to behave in ways that hurt the people around them.

“One of the key differences between having healthy self-esteem and having main character syndrome is the extent to which you can value, respect, and empathize with others’ stories, not just your own.”

When it comes to parenting, this kind of mindset spells trouble. 

Parenting demands a lot of self-sacrifice.

Children require constant attention, nurturing, and care.

How would a self-centered person provide all of that if they operate from a “me-first” mindset? 

Chances are, their child would feel unloved, neglected and unimportant. 

2) The emotionally unavailable

The same goes for emotionally unavailable people.

I mean, how can you expect to nurture a child’s emotional growth when you can’t even connect with your own feelings, right?

Research shows that parental emotional availability is linked to better mental health, emotional regulation, relationship success, and social support as children entered adulthood.

In other words, children thrive on emotional support, validation and love.

If those are absent, they end up feeling isolated and unloved. 

Even worse, with this kind of model, they may grow up being emotionally unavailable themselves. 

3) The emotionally unstable

What if a parent is emotionally expressive? Is that a 100% guarantee they’ll be good parents?

Not so fast—not if they’re emotionally unstable!

I grew up with a father who was exactly like this, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

When things were good, they were great—but when things were bad, they were really bad. 

His moods were like a rollercoaster, and we were constantly left guessing which version of him we’d get on any given day. 

For instance, he would go from being so sweet and huggy one minute to having an explosive outburst the next.

As a child, I never knew what might trigger the switch. 

Childhood experts all agree that stability is so important for children.

Stability in terms of routines, and stability in terms of temperament. 

As Kids Matter.org explains, “Instability makes it harder for a child to form positive trusting relationships with their parents, caregivers, teachers and social workers, and makes them feel less safe.”

Life is already full of uncertainty.

Shouldn’t home be the one place where we all feel safe and secure? 

4) The excessively controlling

If you’re the type of person who needs to control every little detail, I kindly urge you to consider that parenting might not be your calling. 

Or at least, not until you recognize this behavior and make real steps to overcome it. 

You see, an excessive need for control often results in heavy-handed parenting—and I get that it might be coming from a good place – that of simply wanting your child to have a good life, free of mistakes or hardships.

But in reality, this kind of approach can backfire. In my years of teaching, I’ve seen firsthand its damaging effects on children. 

Kids who have overly controlling parents often struggle with: 

• Anxiety and perfectionism
• Indecisiveness
• Fear of failure
• Lack of self-confidence

Or they might go to the opposite end—act out and be rebellious. 

Neither bodes well for their future; kids need to make their own mistakes in life.

Great parenting involves nailing that balance between giving them independence and stepping in only when needed. 

5) The financially irresponsible

This might seem obvious—people who aren’t financially responsible shouldn’t have kids, right? 

Yet we see it happening everywhere! 

You’d think that money woes are the sole problem of parents, but the sad truth is, kids take the stress on, too. 

And, according to research, children are more likely to face mental health problems if they grow up in a family that is low income or has significant debt.

They feel a whole range of emotions, like stress, anxiety, guilt, and embarrassment over being unable to afford what their peers can. 

Another study found that financial strain causes problematic behavior in children because of its effects on their parents. 

Don’t get me wrong—you don’t have to be wealthy to be qualified for children.

But at least do make sure that you’re financially responsible enough to spare them from all this stress. 

6) The commitment-phobe

People who are commitment-shy are another type who should think twice about having children. 

More than marriage, raising a child is the ultimate commitment.

It is never fair to bring a child into the world and then abandon it. 

I’m not referring to just the parents who actually walk out on their kids and leave them with God knows who. 

Abandonment can also show up in simple ways like: 

• Being emotionally distant or unavailable
• Prioritizing personal interests or hobbies over family time
• Frequently being absent due to work or other commitments
• Failing to provide consistent support or guidance
• Avoiding difficult conversations or responsibilities

So yes, you could physically be there but mentally absent because you feel trapped or overwhelmed. 

And that’s not fair: kids didn’t ask to be born, after all.

They need consistency, stability, and someone who’s in it for the long run. 

(In fact, here’s another truth: parenting is a lifelong commitment, you don’t stop being a parent even when your child grows up.)

The bottomline is, parenting isn’t something you can half-commit to.

Kids aren’t like things we buy on Amazon—we can’t return them if we find that we don’t like them or can’t afford them after all! 

7) The workaholic

Speaking of abandonment brings me to the workaholic. 

Now, the workaholic is a little tricky—they might say they’re working themselves to the bone to provide for the family, but…there’s more to being a parent than just financial support. 

Kids also need your time, attention, and presence.

If they don’t receive those, they end up feeling neglected.

Presence is so powerful that it even influences the way kids learn and respond to fear, as studies show. 

I remember reading a story about a dad who worked long hours cleaning offices.

But he always made sure to make time for his daughter. 

And when she grew up, the best thing she had to say about him was that she could always count on him to be there. 

As the saying goes, “Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present.” 

Final thoughts

The world is already full of people whose emotional wounds come from bad parenting and unhappy childhoods.  

So before diving into parenthood, it’s worth taking a hard look at yourself and your partner and ask whether you’re truly ready to provide a nurturing, stable environment for a child. 

If not, there’s no shame in working on yourself first.

After all, being a good parent starts long before a child is even born—it starts with being the kind of person who can provide the care, support, and emotional security a child needs to thrive.