We often hear the phrase “family is everything,” but what happens when certain family members bring more stress than support?

While we’re taught to prioritize family connections, not all relationships are healthy or worth maintaining.

According to psychology, some family dynamics can be so toxic that they drain your energy, self-esteem, and peace of mind.

In this article, we’ll explore eight types of family members that, despite the cultural pressure to stay close, simply aren’t worth keeping in touch with.

Understanding these toxic traits can help you make more informed choices about who truly deserves a place in your life.

1) The constant critic

We all have that one family member who seems to have an opinion on everything – and it’s rarely positive.

You know the type. Nothing you do is ever good enough, every achievement is downplayed, and every mistake is magnified.

This constant criticism can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and mental health.

Dealing with constant critic can lead to stress and anxiety as they can make you doubt your abilities and worth.

What’s more, a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that people who receive negative criticism from their parents are more at risk of depression.

So, if you’re dealing with a family member who fits this description, it might be for the best to distance yourself from them.

Preserving your mental health is far more important than maintaining a relationship that only brings you down.

2) The emotional vampire

We’ve all encountered an emotional vampire at some point in our lives. These are the people who, after spending time with them, leave you feeling drained and exhausted.

For me, it was my Uncle Joe.

Every family gathering, he’d corner me and unload all his problems, criticisms, and negativity.

It was like he was sucking the life out of me. I’d leave these gatherings not feeling refreshed and connected, but rather tired and stressed.

Psychology tells us that these kinds of relationships are not healthy. Dealing with energy vampires can lead to burnout and even physical health issues over time.

So if you have an emotional vampire in your family, it might be best to limit your interactions with them for the sake of your own well-being.

3) The guilt tripper

Guilt is a powerful emotion. It can make us do things we don’t want to do, stay in relationships that aren’t good for us, and even manipulate our perception of reality.

Some family members can be masters at using guilt as a tool to control others. They might make you feel responsible for their happiness or blame you for their problems.

Psychology suggests that guilt-inducing parents are linked to poorer mental health outcomes for their children, even when they’re adults.

So if you’re dealing with a family member who regularly uses guilt to manipulate you, it could be time to reconsider your relationship with them.

It’s about protecting your mental health and ensuring healthy boundaries in your relationships.

4) The gaslighter

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone tries to make you doubt your own perceptions, memories, or sanity.

A family member who gaslights you might dismiss your feelings, twist the truth, or deny things happened that you know did.

This can lead to a lot of confusion, self-doubt, and even mental health problems.

According to psychology, gaslighting is a common tactic used by abusive individuals. It’s a serious form of emotional abuse that can have long-term effects on your well-being.

5) The dismissive one

Feeling heard and understood is a fundamental human need. We all want to know that our thoughts, feelings, and experiences matter to those around us.

Unfortunately, some family members can be dismissive. They might:

• Ignore your feelings
• Belittle your experiences
• Make you feel like you’re overreacting or being too sensitive

This dismissal can be deeply hurtful. It can make you feel insignificant and unworthy, and over time, it can seriously damage your self-esteem.

According to psychology, having your emotions regularly dismissed can lead to feelings of isolation and depression.

So if you have a family member who consistently dismisses your feelings, it might be time to rethink how much contact you have with them. 

6) The non-apologizer

Apologies are important. They’re how we acknowledge that we’ve made a mistake or hurt someone else, and they’re a crucial part of maintaining healthy relationships.

I had a cousin who never took responsibility for her actions.

She’d say hurtful things, act selfishly, even lie, but she’d never apologize. It was always someone else’s fault.

This refusal to apologize made me question whether she valued our relationship at all. After all, if she couldn’t admit she was wrong or that she’d hurt me, how could I trust her?

Dealing with someone who doesn’t apologize can lead to feelings of resentment and a loss of trust.

Trust and respect are key in any relationship, and without them, it’s hard to maintain a healthy connection.

7) The controlling one

Control can be a subtle thing. It might start as concern or advice, but when it turns into telling you what to do, how to feel, or who to be, it becomes a problem.

A controlling family member might:

• Dictate your choices
• Dismiss your opinions
• Manipulate you into doing what they want

Psychology warns us about the dangers of such relationships. Being controlled can lead to feelings of helplessness and a loss of personal identity.

If you find yourself constantly bending to the will of a family member, step back and reassess. Everyone has the right to make their own choices and live their life the way they want.

8) The passive-aggressive one

Passive-aggressive behavior can be tricky to spot but it’s just as damaging. It’s when someone expresses their negative feelings indirectly instead of openly addressing them.

You might have a family member who uses sarcasm, silent treatment, or backhanded compliments to express their dissatisfaction or anger.

Such behavior can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and hurt. It’s a form of emotional manipulation that can cause stress and strain relationships.

Open and honest communication is essential in healthy relationships. If you have a family member who regularly exhibits passive-aggressive behavior,  reconsider the role they play in your life.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-care

Families can be complicated, and sometimes the hardest part is recognizing and acknowledging these toxic patterns.