Happiness, they say, is a choice. But if that’s the case, why do so many of us struggle to feel truly happy?

Well, it turns out, genuinely happy individuals have a secret – there are certain things they simply don’t waste their time on.

Just as we can learn from the habits of highly successful people, we can also take a page from those who are truly content with their lives.

These nine things that truly happy people avoid could be the key to unlocking your own inner joy.

Let’s dive in and uncover what these happiness-blockers are all about.

1) Complaining

Everyone faces challenges and setbacks in life, it’s an undeniable fact. For most of us, complaining seems like a natural response to these difficulties.

But you won’t find truly happy people wasting their time on complaining.

Why is this? Well, research suggests that the act of complaining can actually make us feel worse, not better. It focuses our attention on the negative aspects of our lives and can even magnify those problems in our minds.

Complaining can become a habit, a negative cycle that’s hard to break.

Truly happy people understand this. Instead of complaining about their problems, they focus on finding solutions and making the best out of what they have.

When you find yourself about to complain, try shifting your perspective. Look for the silver lining or a potential solution to the problem.

It might not be easy at first, but with practice, it can become a habit that contributes significantly to your happiness.

2) Living in the past

One thing I’ve noticed about genuinely happy people is they don’t dwell on the past. They learn from it, sure, but they don’t let it consume them.

I remember a time when I was constantly reliving a painful breakup. Each time I thought about it, it was like ripping off a band-aid from a wound that hadn’t healed. I was stuck in a cycle of pain and regret.

One day, a friend of mine who always seemed to be beaming with happiness gave me some advice. She said, “You can’t change what’s happened. But you can choose to let it go and focus on the now.”

It wasn’t easy, but over time, I found that focusing on the present moment instead of dwelling on past hurts helped me find much more happiness in my daily life.

Happy people understand this principle. They know that dwelling on the past only robs them of the joy they could be experiencing in the present.

So, they choose to live in the now, making the most of each moment.

3) Comparing themselves to others

Did you know that a study published in the journal “Scientific Reports” found that people who compare themselves to others experience negative emotions such as envy, guilt, and regret?

Truly happy people understand that the path to happiness is not a competition. They know that everyone is on their own unique journey, with their own set of experiences and challenges.

Instead of comparing their lives to those of others, they focus on their own growth and progress.

They celebrate their achievements and use their failures as opportunities for learning and improvement.

By avoiding the comparison trap, they are able to appreciate their own worth and live more fulfilling lives.

4) Holding grudges

Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to fall ill. It’s not only impractical, but it’s also a surefire way to steal away your own peace and happiness.

Truly happy people understand the power of forgiveness. They know that holding on to anger and resentment only serves to hurt them in the long run.

Instead, they choose to forgive, not necessarily because the other person deserves forgiveness, but because they deserve peace.

They understand that holding onto a grudge is a heavy burden that they don’t need to carry.

Letting go of past hurts, they are able to free themselves from the chains of resentment and open up space for more joy and peace in their lives.

5) Negative self-talk

We all have that little voice in our head, the one that sometimes tells us we’re not good enough or can’t accomplish what we set out to do. This is negative self-talk, and it can be a significant hurdle to happiness.

Truly happy people don’t waste their time on negative self-talk. They know that the words they use to describe themselves matter and can significantly impact their mindset and, ultimately, their happiness.

Instead of criticizing themselves, they practice self-compassion and speak to themselves as they would to a good friend.

They recognize their worth and encourage themselves to strive for their best without beating themselves up over shortcomings.

By replacing negative self-talk with positivity and compassion, they create a healthier mindset that paves the way for true happiness.

6) Chasing perfection

Life is beautifully messy. Its imperfections are what make it real, what make it meaningful. Chasing after the illusion of a perfect life, perfect job, or perfect relationship, can often lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction.

Truly happy people understand this. They know that perfection is an unattainable standard that only sets them up for failure. They embrace the imperfections in themselves, others, and life in general.

Instead of striving for perfection, they aim for progress. They find joy in the journey, appreciating every step along the way – the highs, the lows, and everything in between.

By letting go of the pursuit of perfection, they open themselves up to experience the full spectrum of life’s beautiful imperfections, gaining a deeper appreciation for each moment and a richer sense of happiness.

7) Avoiding change

Change can be challenging. It’s often uncomfortable and can leave us feeling uncertain and scared. I remember a time when I was offered a great job opportunity in a different city. The thought of uprooting my life, leaving behind friends and familiar surroundings was terrifying.

But I’ve learned, as have many truly happy people, that change is an essential part of life. It’s often through change that we grow and learn the most about ourselves.

Rather than avoiding change, they embrace it, seeing it as an opportunity for growth and new experiences.

They understand that life is dynamic, not static, and that change can often lead to better things.

8) Overthinking

Overthinking can feel like a mental merry-go-round that’s hard to escape. It can keep us up at night and lead to analysis paralysis, where we get stuck in a loop of endless thoughts without taking any action.

Truly happy people understand the detrimental effects of overthinking. They know that spending too much time in their heads can prevent them from enjoying the present moment and can often lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Instead of overthinking, they strive for balance. They allow themselves time for reflection and planning, but they also know when to let go of their thoughts and focus on living in the moment.

9) Ignoring self-care

Self-care is not selfish, it’s essential. Truly happy people understand that in order to take care of others and fulfill their responsibilities, they first need to take care of themselves.

They prioritize activities that nourish their body, mind, and soul – be it a healthy diet, regular exercise, sufficient sleep, or activities that bring them joy and relaxation.

By making self-care a priority, they ensure that they have the energy and positivity to navigate life’s ups and downs and maintain their happiness.

Embrace happiness

Happiness is not just a fleeting emotion; it’s a state of mind, a choice we make every day.

The Dalai Lama once said, “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”

The path to true happiness isn’t always easy. It requires us to let go of habits that no longer serve us and embrace those that foster positivity and contentment.

From not complaining or living in the past, avoiding comparisons, letting go of grudges and negative self-talk, to accepting imperfections and embracing change while shunning overthinking and prioritizing self-care – these are the choices that define truly happy people.

As we navigate through life, let’s remember that happiness isn’t about having a perfect life but about appreciating the one we have.

It’s about making the most of each moment and choosing to focus on the positive.

In the end, true happiness comes from within us. It’s a journey, not a destination – a journey well worth taking.