9 traits of people who are exceptional at reading others

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | June 18, 2024, 12:19 pm

Reading people isn’t about being manipulative, it’s about understanding their motivations, emotions, and behaviors.

This skill is valuable in every aspect of life, from personal relationships to business interactions.

There are a few exceptional individuals who seem to have an innate ability to read others like an open book. It’s not magic, rather these individuals share 9 common characteristics.

If you’ve always wondered how some people just seem to ‘get’ others so quickly and accurately, stay tuned.

This might just help you understand their secret.

1) High emotional intelligence

Exceptional people readers aren’t just lucking into their insights – they have high emotional intelligence or EQ.

EQ is about more than just recognizing emotions in others.

It’s about understanding them, relating to them, and responding appropriately. It’s about empathy, self-awareness, and social skills.

Those with high EQ can pick up on the subtlest non-verbal cues; a slight change in posture, a twitch of the eyebrow, a fleeting look of confusion.

They understand these cues and interpret them accurately.

In a conversation, they’re not just hearing words.

They’re seeing the whole picture – the emotions, intentions, and motivations behind those words.

Their ability isn’t about manipulation. It’s about understanding the emotional landscapes of others, which can help improve communication and relationships.

Emotional intelligence can be learned and developed over time.

Even if you feel you’re not great at reading people now, there’s always room to grow.

2) Natural curiosity

I’ve noticed that those who are exceptional at reading others have a natural curiosity about people. They genuinely want to understand others, to discover what makes them tick.

Just the other day, I met someone at a networking event who perfectly embodied this trait.

It went beyond the act of asking questions; it was in the manner which she listened that made me feel genuinely heard and understood.

She was genuinely interested in my experiences, my thoughts, and my perspectives.

Her curiosity wasn’t intrusive or nosy. Instead, it was warm and engaging.

I found myself sharing more than I usually would, simply because I felt valued and appreciated.

And that’s the key. People who are great at reading others make you feel like you’re the most important person in the room. Their curiosity is sincere and inviting, which makes people want to open up to them.

3) They’re observant

When it comes to reading others, it’s all in the details. Those who excel in this area have a keen eye for observation.

They pick up on the small cues that others may miss – a slight change in tone, a fleeting facial expression, or even the way someone positions their body during a conversation.

Did you know that over 90% of communication is nonverbal?

That means, when we’re talking to someone, we’re saying more with our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions than we are with our words.

People who are exceptional at reading others understand this. They don’t just listen to your words; they listen to your body language, your tone, and your facial expressions.

They read between the lines and understand what you’re trying to say.

4) They’re good listeners

You might think that being good at reading others is all about observation, but listening plays a crucial role as well.

Not just hearing the words that are spoken, but truly listening to understand.

Those who excel at reading others are incredible listeners. They give their undivided attention to the person they’re conversing with.

They acknowledge what’s being said and respond thoughtfully, showing they’ve genuinely understood.

By actively listening, they’re able to pick up on hidden concerns or unspoken feelings.

They let the other person know that their thoughts and feelings are valid and important, which often encourages more open and honest communication.

Next time you have a conversation, try to listen.

You might be surprised at how much more you understand about the other person.

5) They show empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a key trait in those who are exceptional at reading people.

When someone is speaking, they don’t just hear the words. They put themselves in the other person’s shoes, imagining what it would be like to feel what they’re feeling.

This deep level of understanding allows them to connect on a more personal level.

Empathy goes beyond simply acknowledging someone’s feelings. It’s about validating those emotions, even if they don’t fully understand them.

This can help build trust and open lines of communication, making people feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.

Empathy’s about showing that you care.

6) They’re non-judgmental

No one likes to feel judged or criticized, especially when they’re sharing personal thoughts and feelings.

That’s why those exceptional at reading others are often non-judgmental.

I’ve met some people in my life who have this incredible ability. They make you feel safe and comfortable to express yourself, without fear of being judged or misunderstood.

They accept you for who you are, with all your strengths, flaws, and quirks. 

It doesn’t entail unanimous agreement with everything you say or do; instead, it involves respecting your right to harbor your thoughts and feelings.

This accepting attitude fosters trust and openness, making it easier for them to read and understand others.

To truly understand someone, we must first accept them as they are.

7) They’re patient

Patience is key when it comes to reading people. Understanding someone’s thoughts and feelings isn’t something that happens overnight.

It takes time, patience, and a lot of listening.

I’ve always been a bit of an impatient person. I like quick results and instant gratification.

But over the years, I’ve learned that this approach doesn’t work when trying to understand others.

I’ve had to learn to slow down, to take the time to listen and understand.

I’ve found that the more patient I am, the more I’m able to see and understand about others.

If you want to get better at reading people, be patient. Give them the time and space they need to express themselves.

You might be surprised at what you discover.

8) They’re intuitive

Those who are exceptional at reading others often have a high level of intuition. This is the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

Intuition is like a gut feeling – it’s that sense you get about something or someone without knowing why you feel that way.

It doesn’t revolve around making assumptions or hastily jumping to conclusions; rather, it centers on placing trust in your instincts.

Those with strong intuition can often pick up on things that others might miss. They’re able to read between the lines and sense what someone is feeling, even if it’s not being openly expressed.

If you want to improve your ability to read others, start tuning into your intuition.

Trust your instincts and see where they lead you.

9) They genuinely care about others

Above all, those who are exceptional at reading others genuinely care about the people around them.

Their desire to understand others isn’t driven by personal gain or manipulation but by a genuine interest in their well-being.

They’re the kind of people who will go the extra mile to help someone in need, who will listen when someone needs to talk, and who will stand by your side when things get tough.

Their authenticity shines through in their interactions, making others feel valued and understood.

Their empathy, patience, and understanding come from a place of genuine care and concern.

If you want to be better at reading others, start by genuinely caring about them. It’s the most important step, and it makes all the difference.

Final thought: It’s about connection

At the heart of reading others is the desire for connection.

We all want to feel seen, heard and understood.

The ability to read others doesn’t come from tactics or strategies, it comes from genuine care and curiosity towards the people around us.

It’s about seeing the humanity in others, understanding their emotions, their desires, their fears.

American novelist Harper Lee once said, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…

Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”

It’s this empathetic perspective that forms the foundation for reading others.

It’s about stepping out of your perspective and stepping into theirs.

As you navigate your interactions with others, remember this: to truly understand someone, you have to care about them.

Make that your starting point, and you might be surprised at how much you’re able to see.