What does it mean to be a genuinely good man? 

It’s a big question; philosophers have debated it for centuries, if not millennia, but we’re not going to get into a philosophical debate today. 

Instead, we’re looking to psychologists to find out what they have to say on the matter. Ready to see how you or a man in your life stacks up? 

Let’s get into it.

1) Empathy

Empathy is such a crucial part of being a good person, man or woman. 

I mean, think about it: how can we truly connect with others without understanding their feelings and perspectives? How can we avoid hurting people if we can’t feel what they are feeling? 

We can’t. 

Experts have also highlighted its significance, but perhaps Dr. Elizabeth A. Segal put it best when she wrote, “Empathy is a foundation for the moral behaviors that create healthier communities, from which all of us benefit.” 

Award-winning author and psychoanalyst Hilary Jacobs Hendel has also touched on this, noting the importance of empathy in relationships, saying, “Without a capacity for empathy, treating you with compassion, kindness, and consideration will likely not be a priority for your partner.”

Put simply, if the man you’re thinking of strives to understand others’ perspectives and lets this understanding shape his actions, he truly demonstrates one of the pivotal traits of a genuinely good man.

2) Treating everyone with respect, regardless of social status

Just a few days ago, I was scrolling through Instagram and saw that photo of former President Barack Obama fist-bumping a cleaner. 

You know that one—the image that went viral, capturing a moment of genuine connection and mutual respect between two people from vastly different walks of life. This simple yet powerful gesture struck a chord with millions of people around the world. 

Why am I bringing this up?

Because it encapsulates something that every good man knows and lives by: everyone deserves respect, no matter their job or position in society. 

Respect is a cornerstone of true character, and it’s most telling when applied universally—regardless of a person’s social status. The folks at Psych Central seem to agree, noting that inclusivity is a sign of a good person. 

A genuinely good man understands that respect isn’t reserved for those who can offer something in return; it is a basic human right that should be extended to all. This principle guides his interactions, ensuring that he treats everyone with dignity and equality, whether they are a CEO or a service worker.

3) Trying to be better

I know this one sounds a bit vague, but bear with me because it’s actually quite important. 

In her book The Person You Mean to Be, award-winning psychologist Dolly Chugh lays out a powerful idea: being a good person isn’t about achieving perfection but about making constant efforts to improve. She wrote: 

“We redefine what it means to be a good person as someone who is trying to be better, as opposed to someone who is allowing themselves to believe in the illusion that they are always a good person.”

The point? 

This pursuit of continual improvement is crucial to being good. Assuming one is already perfect can hide flaws and halt personal growth.

A genuinely good man recognizes his imperfections and is actively committed to improving himself. He values constructive criticism, learns from his errors, and sets personal goals to enhance his capabilities and moral character.

If the man you’re thinking of consistently reflects on how he can be better, welcomes feedback, and sets objectives for personal growth, he’s embodying this essential trait of striving to improve—a mark of true goodness.

This next one is the failure point for many men. 

4) Integrity

As defined by Michelle Beaupre, a licensed clinical social worker, integrity is being “honest, having strong moral principles, and sticking to them even when it’s not convenient or easy.” And most experts seem to agree it’s key to being good. For example, Psychologist Seth Meyers called it“the antidote to self-interest.”

Ask yourself, does the man you’re thinking of hold fast to his moral principles, even when it might cost him personally or professionally?

For example, imagine a situation where he witnesses unethical behavior at work. Instead of turning a blind eye to protect his job or reputation, he reports the misconduct, knowing full well that it could lead to backlash or even jeopardize his position.

A man who acts with integrity isn’t looking for personal gain or recognition; his actions spring from a commitment to what is morally right. This involves living by a strong ethical code and prioritizing fairness and justice, even when it might be easier to look the other way.

Such steadfast adherence to principles, regardless of the consequences, is a defining trait of a genuinely good man. 

5) Assuming the best in others

How does the man you’re thinking of react when someone lets him down or when situations don’t go as planned? Does he jump to negative conclusions, or does he give others the benefit of the doubt?

Assuming the best in others is a quality that not only reflects trust but also a profound belief in human goodness. It’s about creating a foundation of trust and respect in relationships. 

Research also shows that people who generally assume positive intentions in others tend to enjoy more satisfying relationships and report greater overall happiness.

Thus, if the man you know tends to believe in the goodness of others, giving them the benefit of the doubt in difficult situations, he’s demonstrating a powerful and positive trait of a genuinely good man.

The bottom line

That’s a wrap for today’s discussion.

The traits of a genuinely compassionate person are diverse and multifaceted, but those who truly stand out typically exhibit these signs. Understanding these qualities can foster personal growth and contribute to building a stronger, more connected community. Compassionate individuals are the ones we aspire to be and the ones we seek in our relationships.

For a deeper dive into identifying truly compassionate people, I highly recommend reading this insightful article on Ideapod: 10 signs you’re dealing with a truly compassionate person, according to psychology. It’s packed with valuable insights that can enhance your understanding and appreciation of compassion in others.

As always, I hope you found some value in this post.

Until next time.