If you consider yourself a person of high intelligence, you may have noticed that you’re drawn to certain qualities in your friends.

Choosing friends isn’t a random act — it’s influenced by your personality, experiences, and yes, even your intelligence.

As someone who identifies as highly intelligent, you might find that you value specific traits in your friendships.

You might seek out friends who challenge you mentally or emotionally, who inspire you or simply make you think.

The traits intelligent people look for in a friend are not always obvious. So let’s delve into this topic, shall we?

As per a psychologist’s view, here are eight characteristics that genuinely intelligent people often look for in their friendships.

8 traits genuinely intelligent people look for in a friend, according to a psychologist

1) Intellectual stimulation

Intelligent people often crave intellectual stimulation.

They want friends who can challenge their ideas and perspectives, who can engage in deep conversations and debates.

Having someone who can dissect, analyze, and ponder over topics ranging from politics to philosophy, from science to literature, is a thrilling prospect for them.

And it’s not just about having a high IQ.

Emotional intelligence is equally important – the ability to understand and navigate emotions, to empathize and connect on an emotional level.

It’s like a mental workout – just as our bodies need physical exercise, our brains need intellectual engagement to stay sharp and healthy.

But it’s also about growing as a person.

Engaging with different viewpoints helps us broaden our own horizons, challenges our biases, and helps us learn more about ourselves and the world around us.

2) Imperfections

While it might seem logical for intelligent people to seek out friends who are flawless or perfect in every way – after all, who wouldn’t want to surround themselves with excellence – the reality is quite different.

Intelligent people understand that perfection is an illusion.

They appreciate the beauty and authenticity in imperfections.

They seek out friends who are real, genuine, and unapologetically themselves.

Imperfections are seen as a sign of authenticity, of a person who is true to themselves and their own journey.

These quirks and flaws make each person unique, and add depth and richness to their character.

Moreover, imperfections pave the way for growth and learning.

They present opportunities for both parties to learn from their mistakes, to adapt, and to grow.

It’s through navigating these rough patches that friendships often deepen and strengthen.

3) Emotional availability

Intelligent people often value emotional availability in their friendships.

They are drawn to those who are open about their feelings, and appreciate when others can recognize and express their own emotions as well.

Emotionally available friends are those who are not just present physically but also emotionally.

They’re there to listen when you need to talk, and they aren’t afraid to share their own feelings or experiences.

Being emotionally available also means being empathetic.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It’s a key component of emotional intelligence, and it plays a crucial role in forming deep, meaningful connections.

Research has shown that empathy is linked to greater relationship satisfaction.

It promotes a sense of connectedness and mutual understanding, which are vital in any friendship.

4) Patience

In a world that often pushes us to rush and hustle, having a friend who embodies patience can feel like a breath of fresh air.

Intelligent people appreciate friends who understand that not everything needs to be done at a breakneck speed.

A patient friend understands that everyone has their own pace of learning, growing, and even healing.

They give you the space to be yourself without any pressure.

They don’t rush you through your thoughts and feelings, but instead let you take your time to process them.

Patience also means sticking by your side during tough times.

It’s about waiting out the storm with you, even if there’s no sign of the sun yet.

It’s about understanding that some things in life take time and can’t be rushed.

In a friendship, patience creates an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding.

It’s a silent reassurance that says, “Take your time. I’m here for you, no matter how long it takes.”

5) Sense of humor

Life can get pretty serious at times.

That’s why having a friend who can lighten the mood with a good joke or a funny anecdote is invaluable.

Intelligent people appreciate a sense of humor in their friends.

A friend who can make you laugh can turn a gloomy day around, and make good times even better.

Laughter is not just an instant mood booster, but also a stress reliever.

It helps us not to take life too seriously and to see the lighter side of things.

But it’s not just about telling jokes.

A sense of humor is also about the ability to laugh at oneself – to not take oneself too seriously and to be able to find humor in our own quirks and mistakes.

Moreover, shared laughter is a powerful connector.

Jokes, funny stories, or just silly moments that you both find hilarious can create memorable experiences and strengthen your bond.

6) Curiosity

Curiosity is a trait highly valued by intelligent people.

They are often drawn to those with a thirst for knowledge, those who question, explore, and seek to understand the world around them.

For instance, I recall a friend who was always the first to dive into new books, ideas, or experiences.

Their infectious curiosity often led us both down fascinating paths of discovery.

Whether it was exploring a new hiking trail or delving into a complex philosophical discussion, their enthusiasm for learning and discovering was truly inspiring.

A curious friend doesn’t just accept things at face value but digs deeper, asks questions, and seeks understanding.

This kind of curiosity often leads to rich conversations and shared learning experiences that can strengthen the bond of friendship.

In essence, curiosity can serve as the fuel for intellectual growth and shared adventures in a friendship.

7) Honesty

No matter how smart someone is, they still value and need honesty in their friendships.

Sugarcoating the truth or telling white lies might seem like the easier route at times, but in the long run, it does more harm than good.

Intelligent people appreciate friends who have the courage to tell them the truth, even when it’s hard.

They respect those who can offer constructive criticism without malice, and those who can admit their own mistakes and shortcomings.

Honesty lays the foundation for trust in any relationship.

It’s about being real and transparent, even when it’s uncomfortable.

8) Respect

At the heart of every friendship, irrespective of intelligence, is respect.

It’s the cornerstone that holds all other traits together.

Intelligent people highly value friends who treat them, and others, with dignity and consideration.

Respect in a friendship means acknowledging each other’s differences – whether it’s a difference of opinion, lifestyle, or choices – without judgment.

Respect also means appreciating each other’s boundaries and personal space.

It’s about understanding that even as friends, you are two separate individuals with distinct identities.

In essence, respect is about treating the other person as you would like to be treated.

It’s about giving and receiving kindness, understanding, and acceptance.

Final thoughts

Friendship with an intelligent person goes beyond surface-level connections.

They value authenticity, emotional depth, and intellectual curiosity, traits that foster trust and growth.

If you strive to cultivate meaningful relationships, these qualities—such as honesty, patience, and a sense of humor—are key to forming deeper connections.

Ultimately, intelligent people seek friends who challenge them, support them, and respect them for who they truly are.

By embracing these traits, you can build stronger, more fulfilling friendships that last.