We all have moments when we’re unsure of someone’s true intentions.

You might be engaged in a conversation, unsure if the person is being genuine or has a hidden agenda. Or perhaps you’re reading an email and can’t decipher if the sender is being straightforward or subtly manipulative.

How do you determine if you’re dealing with a person who is sincere, or someone masking their true intentions?

After years of observing human behavior and interactions, I’ve identified 5 key sentences that could potentially reveal someone’s underlying motives. 

If these sentences come up in your interactions, it might be time to examine the authenticity of the person you’re dealing with.

1) “I don’t usually do this, but…”

This is a phrase that often precedes an action or request that is out of character for the person speaking. It’s a caveat, a way for them to justify behavior that might be considered inappropriate or unusual in their normal circumstances.

The person might genuinely be stepping out of their comfort zone. However, it can also be a manipulative tactic to make you lower your guard.

They want you to believe that this is a special case and their request or action is an exception rather than the rule.

So, next time someone starts a sentence with “I don’t usually do this, but…”, pay attention. Check for consistency in their actions and words following this statement.

It may shed light on their true intentions.

2) “I’m just being honest…”

Honesty is often considered a virtue, and rightly so. However, when someone prefaces their comment with “I’m just being honest…”, it’s worth taking a second look.

While this could simply be a mark of open communication, it can also serve as a clever cover for rudeness, insensitivity, or unkindness. It’s a way of shielding the speaker from the potential backlash of their words under the guise of ‘truth-telling’.

So, the next time someone uses this phrase, don’t simply take it at face value. Consider the context and the content of what follows. 

Is it constructive criticism or just a harsh comment masquerading as honesty? This could reveal more about their true intentions than they intended to share.

3) “No offense, but…”

At its core, this phrase seems to signal an intention to avoid causing offense. However, it often has the opposite effect.

When someone begins a sentence with “No offense, but…”, it’s typically a warning sign that something offensive or hurtful is about to be said. Rather than preventing offense, this phrase can be a way of disclaiming responsibility for the impact of one’s words.

So, the next time you hear “No offense, but…”, brace yourself and pay close attention to what follows. It may provide unexpected insight into the speaker’s true feelings or intentions.

4) “Trust me…”

It’s an interesting fact that true trust is earned and not demanded.

When someone frequently uses the phrase “Trust me…”, it can be a red flag. While it might appear as an assurance of confidence or expertise, it can often be a subtle attempt to persuade you without providing concrete evidence or reasoning.

In many cases, those who are trustworthy don’t need to verbally ask for trust—it is naturally given based on their actions and integrity over time.

So, when you hear “Trust me…”, take a moment to reflect. 

Does the person’s actions align with their words? Or are they using this phrase to bypass your doubts or concerns? It’s worth considering, as it might reveal their true intentions.

5) “I’m not a bad person…”

Sometimes, the truth of who we are comes out in the strangest ways.

When a sentence begins with “I’m not a bad person…” It’s often a sign that the speaker is trying to convince themselves as much as they are trying to convince you.

The need to assert one’s goodness usually arises when actions have suggested otherwise. People who are secure in their moral compass don’t feel the need to vocalize their decency—it’s reflected in their actions.

When these words are spoken, take a moment. Reflect on the actions that led to this assertion. It could provide a revealing glimpse into the speaker’s true intentions and self-perception.

Reading between the lines

Understanding someone’s true intentions can often feel like trying to read between the lines. It’s not always about what is being said, but how it’s being said and why.

It’s about discerning the unspoken messages, the undertones, and the subtle cues that are often overlooked in communication.

Consider these phrases as pieces of a larger puzzle. Each one might not reveal much on its own, but together, they can start to form a clearer picture of someone’s motives and character.

It’s also important to remember that we all use these phrases at some point. We’re all capable of manipulative behavior, often without realizing it. 

It doesn’t necessarily make someone ‘bad’ or ‘untrustworthy’. It simply means we are humans navigating complex social situations, trying to protect our self-image and meet our needs.

However, recognizing these phrases can help us foster more authentic and open communication. It encourages us to question our own intentions and the intentions of others. 

This kind of awareness can lead to healthier relationships where honesty and transparency are valued over manipulation and deceit. It allows us to hold ourselves and others accountable for our words and actions.

Understanding intentions is not about creating divisions between ‘good’ or ‘bad’ people. It’s about fostering empathy, understanding, and honesty in our interactions. It’s about peeling back layers to reveal our true selves, warts and all.

So, next time you find yourself in a conversation, pay attention not just to what is being said, but how it’s being said. 

Listen beyond the words for what’s not being spoken out loud. You might just discover a whole new level of understanding and connection.

Embracing responsibility

In the grand scheme of understanding others, we must first understand ourselves. That begins with taking responsibility for our own actions and words.

When we start to recognize these phrases in our own speech, it’s a golden opportunity for self-reflection and growth. It’s a chance to pause and consider our intentions and how they might be perceived by others. 

Are we trying to manipulate a situation or person to our advantage? Or are we seeking genuine connection and understanding?

Taking responsibility isn’t about self-blame or guilt. It’s about acknowledging our role in the interactions we engage in. It’s a commitment to learning, growing, and improving ourselves, so that we can foster healthier relationships with the people around us.

So, as you move forward, remember the power of your words and intentions. Embrace responsibility not just as a reaction to situations, but as a proactive way of communicating authentically and honestly.

The journey towards understanding others starts with understanding ourselves. And that journey is one of the most rewarding ones we can embark on.