We’ve all been there. You meet someone new and within seconds, something about their behavior just rubs you the wrong way. Often, it’s not what they say but those little habits they have.

Hey, it’s Lachlan Brown here from Hack Spirit. As someone who’s spent a lot of time studying mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve learned a thing or two about human interactions.

In this article, I’ll share with you 7 tiny habits that can make people dislike you almost instantly. Don’t worry, I’m not here to judge but to guide. Let’s dive in, shall we?

1) Constant negativity

We all know someone like this. No matter what the situation, they always seem to find the negative aspect of it. And let’s be honest, it’s draining.

As a mindfulness practitioner, I can tell you that constant negativity can be a real energy sapper. It’s like carrying a heavy load on your shoulders all the time.

In Buddhism, we’re taught to cultivate positivity and compassion, not just for others but for ourselves as well. When we constantly focus on the negative, we’re not only pushing people away but also harming our own mental well-being.

It’s natural to have negative thoughts from time to time. But when negativity becomes your default setting, people might start to distance themselves from you.

So try to be mindful of your thoughts and words. By focusing more on the positive, not only will you feel better but others will enjoy your company more too.

2) Non-stop talking

Ever been trapped in a conversation with someone who just wouldn’t stop talking about themselves? It’s not the most enjoyable experience, is it?

I’ve found myself in situations like these quite a few times. And trust me, it’s taught me the power of listening more than talking.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Zen Buddhist master, said, “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

This quote speaks volumes about the power of being present and truly listening to others.

When we dominate conversations without giving others a chance to express themselves, it comes off as self-centered and uninterested.

Communication is a two-way street. Make sure you’re giving as much as you’re taking. It’s a small habit that can make a huge difference in how people perceive you.

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s an essential part of human connection. When we lack empathy, we come off as cold and unapproachable, which can make people dislike us almost instantly.

In Buddhism, empathy is deeply valued. It’s the foundation of compassion, which is one of the most significant teachings in Buddhism.

The Buddha once said, “Just as a mother would protect her only child with her life, even so let one cultivate a boundless love towards all beings.” This quote emphasizes the importance of empathy in our interactions with others.

Without empathy, we become isolated and disconnected. So if you find yourself struggling to connect with others, take a moment to put yourself in their shoes.  This simple practice can greatly influence how others perceive you.

4) Always being in a rush

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle. But have you ever noticed how off-putting it can be when someone is always in a rush?

I’ve been guilty of this myself. Trying to juggle multiple tasks and responsibilities, I sometimes found myself rushing through conversations and interactions. But over time, I realized this habit was pushing people away.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I talk about the importance of slowing down and being present in each moment.

Rushing through life not only robs us of the joy of living fully but also makes us seem impatient and unapproachable. Take a breath, slow down, and be fully present.

5) Being judgmental

We’re all human, and it’s natural to form opinions about people based on our interactions with them. But when we let these opinions turn into judgments, it can instantly make people dislike us.

Being judgmental sends a clear message: “I believe I’m better than you.” And let’s be honest, nobody likes to feel inferior.

In both Buddhism and mindfulness practices, non-judgement is a core principle. We’re taught to observe without forming opinions, to accept things as they are.

As Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki noted, “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.” When we judge, we close ourselves off to new experiences and insights.

Try to catch yourself next time you start forming judgments. Instead, approach each interaction with an open mind and heart. 

6) Neglecting body language

Body language is a powerful tool for communication. It can say a lot about us, sometimes even more than our words do.

A simple gesture like crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or constantly checking your watch during a conversation can send a message that you’re disinterested or impatient.

And these signals can make people dislike you almost instantly.

On the flip side, positive body language like maintaining eye contact, nodding to show understanding, and facing the person you’re talking to can make you come across as attentive and friendly.

Communication isn’t just about what you say, but also how you say it. When interacting with someone, be mindful of your body language. It might just be the key to making a good impression.

7) Not following through on commitments

Here’s something I’ve learned over the years: reliability is a highly valued trait. And there’s nothing that erodes trust quite like not following through on your commitments.

Recently, I had a friend who constantly made plans but would always cancel at the last minute. It didn’t take long for me to start feeling frustrated and undervalued.

It’s a simple thing, really. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If for some reason you can’t, let the other person know as soon as possible and make it up to them if you can.

People appreciate reliability. It shows that you respect their time and that they can count on you. Being true to your word is a tiny habit that can go a long way in making people like you more.

The heart of the matter

At the end of the day, we’re all human. We make mistakes, we learn, and we grow. But the key lies in self-awareness.

Stepping back and considering how our habits might affect others is a crucial step in personal growth. It’s not about changing who you are, but about refining how you interact with the world around you.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve into the importance of self-awareness and empathy in our daily lives.

The principles of Buddhism remind us to be mindful of our actions and their impact on others.

So as you move forward, remember: It’s often the smallest habits that can make the biggest difference.

A slight tweak in your behavior, a bit more attention to your words, or simply being more present in your interactions can transform how others perceive you.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not just avoiding habits that make people dislike us instantly. It’s fostering habits that make us better individuals and build stronger connections with those around us