Are you empathetic? Are you unsure?

You know what, it’s understandable that you want to look up signs of being an empathetic person. It’s understandable that you want to confirm it. 

Because if you are one, the chances that you truly operate under the idea of “I should be doing more” is high. Like, really high.

You might even feel bad for “not doing enough” because other people’s pain is so deeply felt by you.

So go through this list with me, maybe even as a reminder that you’re doing enough.

And as always, if the list doesn’t resonate yet, take it as friendly advice as to what can be done. 

Here are 8 things you’re doing for others that show you’re a highly empathetic person.

1) When you include everyone during a group conversation

Those who have never felt excluded in a group conversation will not understand the feeling. 

Those who don’t understand this sentiment might think this point is silly and juvenile, but believe me, inclusion is a big move. 

Who among us does not want belongingness? Who among us does not want to be heard?

Some might think this is too small of an action, but let me tell you that empathy is felt in the little things.

And you understand this, don’t you? 

You’re the type of person who makes sure everyone is comfortable. You’re the type to make sure that people can say what they have to say. 

You apologize for interrupting, you circle back if you get distracted. It’s those little things that compound into something bigger.

Inclusion and respect, that’s what.

2) You acknowledge someone’s ideas after they present it

Being ignored or disregarded doesn’t feel nice and you understand this. 

That’s why you make it a point to acknowledge people’s ideas when they present it. 

No idea is too small to listen to. No idea is too dumb not to give at least an acknowledgement.

This shows empathy. So many of us have been made to feel small for the ideas we offer to the world.

Yet you, a bright light, offer a space to voice them.

This isn’t to say that you accept whatever comes your way, but you at least have the decency to acknowledge someone’s efforts.

And that? That is important. 

3) You move past your biases

You’re not without your biases, but you have learned to suspend judgment. You may have even learned to move past them.

Biases are learned, conditioned into us by our upbringing and circumstances. We form them through lived experiences. And there are times that they are harmful beliefs.

Unlearning them is difficult but not impossible, and it’s something that you strive to do better and better. Not everyone does that.

Not everyone is willing to put in the work, but empathy got you far in your attempt.

You have learned what it meant to be on the other side of harmful biases. And you have made it a point to not add to that pain. 

4) You check up on people, even the strong ones

You’re the type of person who checks up on others. 

You’re the type who is unafraid to let other people know that you’re there for them. 

You’re the type to also check up on your strong friends. You understand the bravery it takes to be the strong one, after all.

You don’t want other people, especially your nearest and dearest, to feel alone or lonely. 

Not on your watch. 

A quick note on being the strong friend

If you happen to be the strong friend, the one who checks up on everyone with no one to check up on them, learn to check up on yourself, too.

It might sound silly but it’s necessary. Even strong people rest, bestie. 

Extend your kindness to yourself. 

5) You pay attention to people’s emotional shifts

You pay attention to people’s emotional shifts, from their body language to their speech patterns.

Heck, you could probably even tell something’s wrong from someone’s way of texting. 

It’s not a superpower, it’s just paying attention. 

6) You don’t shy away from being vulnerable

You understand that vulnerability is essential in building and maintaining relationships and you don’t shy away from it.

It could also be why people come up to you often for advice. Ever wondered why others randomly or suddenly open up to you?

It’s because you allow their vulnerability a safe space. It’s because you’re also not selfish in sharing your heart of hearts.

Other people reciprocate the energy you offer. Other people see that light. 

7) You offer support without being asked

You lend a helping hand even without being asked. 

You understand how it feels to struggle. You understand that sometimes, it takes a village to figure life out.

For you, it’s a small effort, but you might not know how impactful this is. It’s the kind of ripple that causes giant waves.

And this isn’t exclusive to people you know, you also offer help even to strangers. 

Some might call you a bleeding heart, but you can’t help it, can’t you? You are always willing to help if you can, the kind who’d give the shirt off their back if necessary.

8) You’re respectful of other people’s boundaries

And finally, boundaries. 

Boundaries are important and you know this. You live by it.

Whether physical, emotional, mental, intellectual, sexual, financial, or spiritual in nature, you respect them. 

You understand the safety and peace that boundaries provide and you also understand the feeling of having your bottom line crossed. 

You don’t ever want someone to feel unsafe in your presence. This is the important distinction, because people can know your boundaries and choose to ignore them.

But you’re a safe space for people and it shows. They can feel it.

A small reminder before you go

This list feels like a reminder, doesn’t it? A recognition, too. Of your efforts, of your compassion, of your empathy. 

But I want to end with this small reminder: Leave something for yourself. 

I know, I know this might be difficult to practice, but try anyway. 

Why? Because at some point, you will burn out. And you will carry that burden of not being able to give, even when you shouldn’t carry it.

I’ve been there and I know how it feels. To have no bandwidth to help when you see someone in need. 

But you have to remember to leave some for yourself. Leave compassion for yourself.

Leave grace for yourself. Leave some peace for yourself.

It isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. 

You cannot pour from an empty cup, but with time and enough rest, that cup will runneth over once again.