7 things you don’t realize you’re doing that are making you emotionally fragile

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | February 19, 2024, 6:45 am

Picture this: You are doing your best to keep it together, but it feels like the smallest trigger can send you into a spiral of emotional turmoil.

And you ask yourself, why is this happening?

If this sounds like you, well, you’re not the only one.

It’s a common experience for many of us to feel emotionally fragile, even when we think we’re doing everything right.

But here’s the thing you might not realize. You could be doing certain things unknowingly that are contributing to your emotional fragility.

Intrigued? You should be.

This is where we dissect 7 habits or actions you may be unknowingly committing that are making you emotionally fragile.

1) Ignoring your feelings

I remember a time when I was so focused on my career that I didn’t allow myself to feel.

I’d brush off any negative emotions, telling myself I didn’t have time for them. But you know what?

That didn’t make them disappear. Instead, they piled up, creating an emotional time bomb waiting to explode.

We often think we’re doing ourselves a favor by ignoring unpleasant feelings.

But the reality is, suppressing emotions can make us more emotionally fragile.

It’s essential to acknowledge and process our feelings, rather than ignoring them.

Otherwise, they’ll build up and make us feel overwhelmed when we least expect it.

2) Setting unrealistic expectations

Let me share another personal story. I used to set sky-high expectations for myself.

I thought it would push me to perform better. But all it did was drain me emotionally. Every time I fell short of my own expectations, I felt like a failure.

We’re often our own harshest critics, setting expectations so high that they’re almost impossible to meet.

This can lead to constant disappointment and self-doubt, which can weaken our emotional resilience over time.

So remember, be kind to yourself and break down your long-term goals into actionable tasks. 

3) Constantly comparing yourself to others

Did you know that research has shown that people who frequently compare themselves to others tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and dissatisfaction with their lives?

That’s right. The constant comparison can chip away at our emotional strength.

In a digital world obsessed with perfection, it’s tempting to measure ourselves against carefully crafted highlight reels on social media.

But behind the filters lies the reality—full of imperfections and struggles unseen.

Comparing leads to self-doubt and vulnerability. Instead, champion your own journey, flaws and all.

Your progress, your story— that’s where the real power lies.

4) Not practicing self-care

There was a time when I thought self-care was all about indulging in a spa day or treating myself to a shopping spree.

But it’s so much more than that. It’s about feeding your soul, nurturing your self-worth, and taking time to replenish your energy.

When we constantly put others’ needs before our own, we deplete our emotional reserves.

It’s like trying to fill others’ cups while ours is empty. Over time, this can leave us feeling drained and emotionally fragile.

Hey, remember to prioritize self-care. Dive into that book, take a stroll in nature, or just chill with your thoughts.

Nourish yourself because you can’t give what you don’t have. Fill your cup first!

5) Living in the past or future

I used to be a master at this, always dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about future uncertainties.

I’d replay past situations in my mind, thinking about what I could have done differently.

Or I’d stress about what the future might hold. But here’s the catch – I was missing out on the present.

Living in the past or future can make us feel emotionally fragile.

We can’t change what’s already happened, and we can’t predict what’s to come. All we truly have control over is the present moment.

Learning to live in the ‘now’ has been a game changer for me. It has allowed me to appreciate life as it unfolds and has made me emotionally stronger. 

6) Avoiding change

Change is an inevitable part of life. Yet, many of us resist it. I’ve been there too, sticking to my comfort zone, fearing the unknown.

If it wasn’t for a dear friend who encouraged me to embrace change, I might still be stuck in that rut.

Resisting change can make us emotionally fragile. It makes us rigid and less adaptable to life’s ups and downs.

Embracing change, on the other hand, can help us grow and become more emotionally resilient.  

7) Not setting boundaries

I used to struggle with this a lot. I’d say yes to everything, afraid of disappointing people if I said no.

But over time, I realized that not setting boundaries was taking a toll on my emotional health.

When we don’t set boundaries, we end up overextending ourselves emotionally, physically, and mentally.

This can lead to burnout and emotional fragility. Learning to say no and setting healthy boundaries is key to protecting our emotional wellbeing.

Transformation takes patience

So there you have it – seven habits that might be subtly chipping away at your emotional resilience.

Recognizing these patterns is the crucial first step towards reclaiming your inner strength. 

Bottom line: it’s perfectly okay to progress at your own pace. Rome wasn’t built overnight, after all.

Similarly, building emotional resilience is a process—a journey filled with setbacks and triumphs.

So, be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and keep moving forward, one step at a time.