A lot of us carry the baggage of our childhood into adulthood without even realizing it—especially if we grew up in an environment where criticism was constant.

It’s crazy how much those early experiences can shape our behavior, often without us being aware.

The truth is, if you were overly criticized as a child, you might be doing certain things today that stem from that experience.

Here are eight subtle habits you may not even realize you’ve developed as a result.

1) Constant self-doubt

It’s one of the most pervasive yet somehow overlooked symptoms — you find yourself second-guessing every decision you make, big or small. It’s like there’s a little voice in the back of your head and it just won’t be quiet.

You’ve tried to ignore it, to trust in your own judgment. But still, at every turn, there it is – that crippling doubt creeping in.

Often, it’s not even about anything significant.

For instance, choosing a salad over a sandwich for lunch could send you into a spiral of indecision and guilt. It sounds ridiculous, but the struggle is real.

That’s one of the key signs that you’re still carrying around the weight of excessive criticism from your childhood.

It’s a deeply ingrained habit that might seem insignificant but could be holding you back from embracing your full potential.

2) Overly apologetic

If you find yourself saying “sorry” way more than necessary, you might not even realize it’s rooted in your past.

Growing up with constant criticism can make you feel like everything is your fault, even when it’s not.

You’ve been conditioned to believe that apologizing will diffuse a situation or make you more likable, but in reality, it can undermine your confidence and make you seem unsure of yourself.

Being overly apologetic can also become exhausting, both for you and the people around you.

It’s important to recognize when an apology is truly needed and when it’s just a knee-jerk reaction from old habits.

Learning to stop over-apologizing is a way of reclaiming your confidence and recognizing that you don’t need to apologize for simply existing.

3) Perfectionism

The great American author John Steinbeck, once said, “Now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”

But for some of us, being just ‘good’ doesn’t feel like enough. We strive for perfection in everything we do. And when we fail to achieve it, we berate ourselves, no matter how minuscule the mistake.

You could spend hours obsessing over a single typo in an email, or you could get upset with yourself for not doing your workout perfectly. You might even lose sleep over a minor slip-up at work that nobody else noticed.

This obsession with perfection isn’t just about being ambitious or detail-oriented, though it may seem that way on the surface. 

It’s actually a manifestation of the fear of criticism that was instilled in us as children. It’s an unconscious attempt to avoid the disapproval we once faced by trying to be above reproach.

4) Avoidance of confrontation

According to the Taylor Counseling Group, an upbringing that let you down could contribute to a fear of confrontation. You become shy about dealing with conflict because you didn’t feel heard in the past.

It’s like an ingrained survival tactic – if there’s no conflict, there’s no criticism, right?

So you might agree with someone just to avoid a small argument, or you could be the person who always stays silent during heated discussions at work. You might even let others take advantage of you just to keep the peace.

This avoidance of confrontation isn’t just about maintaining harmony. It’s a subconscious way of protecting ourselves from the potential criticism that confrontational situations could bring.

It’s a silent surrender to the fear, a habit that was formed in the shadows of an overly critical childhood. This brings me to the next point…

5) Fear of failure

The fear of failure is a common trait among those who were overly criticized as children. It’s like a monster lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce at the slightest hint of a setback.

When you have highly critical parents, you come to see challenges as something to be scared of. You feel a sense of dread instead of excitement. 

You might find yourself procrastinating on a project out of fear that you won’t do it perfectly. Or, you could be hesitant to try new things because you’re scared you won’t be good at them right away.

The pressure to never fail can paralyze you, keeping you from realizing your full potential. Learning to embrace mistakes as part of the process is crucial in breaking free from this mindset.

6) Difficulty accepting compliments

Accepting compliments gracefully is something many of us struggle with, especially if we were overly criticized during our formative years.

How so? Well, it’s like a foreign language that we just can’t seem to understand. Criticism? Now, that’s what we’re used to.

When someone says something nice, it’s hard to believe they mean it. You might deflect the compliment, downplay your achievements, or attribute your success to luck or timing instead of acknowledging your hard work.

This reaction stems from years of being told you weren’t good enough, making it difficult to accept praise without suspicion.

7) Seeking validation

According to psychologists, one of the most important needs children have is the need to be validated.

When that need goes unmet—when you’re constantly criticized instead of supported—you start looking for that validation elsewhere, often well into adulthood.

You might find yourself constantly seeking praise or affirmation, relying on external sources to feel good about yourself.

Whether it’s through social media, work achievements, or relationships, the need for validation can become a driving force in your life.

The problem is, external validation can be fleeting and unreliable. The challenge is to shift that focus inward, learning to trust and affirm your own value without needing others to reinforce it.

8) Low self-esteem

This is perhaps the most telling sign that you were overly criticized as a child. Growing up hearing constant negativity about your abilities can make it tough to build confidence.

Over time, those critical voices become your inner dialogue, making you question your worth and second-guess yourself.

You might doubt your capabilities, second-guess your decisions, or feel unworthy of success or happiness.

Even when you achieve something great, that nagging sense of not being “good enough” tends to linger.

To tackle this, start by recognizing those negative thoughts when they pop up and challenging them. Instead of automatically doubting your abilities, remind yourself of past successes and strengths.

Practice self-compassion and give yourself credit where it’s due. Building self-esteem is a gradual process, but small, consistent efforts to shift your mindset can make a big difference.

Final thoughts

If you’re nodding along to these signs, it’s possible you’re grappling with the remnants of an overly critical childhood.

But don’t let this stop you from becoming the best version of yourself. These patterns don’t have to define your life.

Self-awareness is your strongest weapon. Recognize these tendencies and consciously strive to transform them. The goal isn’t to change who you are, but to bring balance and establish boundaries.

Start pinpointing when these habits surface. When do you doubt yourself? When do you find yourself constantly apologizing or avoiding confrontation?

Challenge yourself in these instances. Does this decision truly reflect who you are? Are your actions aligned with your values? Would standing up for yourself in this situation honor your worth?

It’s a process, not an overnight transformation. But each small victory, each moment where you choose yourself over the approval of others, is a step towards healing.