Weddings are such lovely affairs, aren’t they? A celebration of love, joy, and new beginnings, a beautiful day with friends and family….what’s not to like? 

But even with all the excitement, we shouldn’t forget that weddings do call for some decorum. 

After all, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime moment for the couple, and their special day deserves the utmost respect. 

So, it’s definitely a time to be classy and mind your manners. 

With that in mind, here are eight things truly classy women never do when attending a wedding.

1) Wear white or anything that outshines the bride

Let’s get the biggest one out of the way – a white dress. 

If you ever decide to be unconventional and wear a white dress, even if it doesn’t remotely resemble a wedding dress, prepare to hear a collective gasp and maybe a lot of dirty looks from other guests. 

It’s one of the most common-sense rules of wedding etiquette. It is the bride’s day, and she’s the one meant to stand out. 

Wearing white, or anything that competes with her look, is seen as a major faux pas. 

As wedding planner Brandi Hamerstone explains, “You don’t want to stand with the bride and look as though you were attempting to look bridal on someone else’s day. Even if that wasn’t your intention, that’s what people (and possibly the bride) will think, and who wants to be ‘that’ person?”

That’s why classy women steer clear of white and similar colors. They opt for elegant outfits instead that complement the occasion without drawing attention away from the star of the day. 

This brings me to the next point…

2) Ignore the dress code or theme

What exactly is an outfit that will complement the occasion? Well, whatever the dress code specified in the invitation is! 

Classy women never overlook this detail. If it’s black-tie, they’ll show up in an elegant gown. 

If it’s a themed wedding, say, vintage or beach-chic, they’ll embrace the spirit of the theme without going overboard or making it about themselves.

When it comes to weddings, the dress code is not a suggestion. It’s part of the couple’s vision for their special day. If you ignore it, you’ll be seen as tacky and disrespectful. 

3) Arrive late to the ceremony

I once attended a wedding where a guest – rather, a family – arrived late. Right as the bride was walking down the aisle. 

As the doors creaked open, everyone’s heads turned toward the back of the room instead of focusing on the bride’s processional. 

The errant guests snuck in, heads ducked down, clearly flustered, and tried to find seats as quickly as they could. 

It was an unfortunate distraction during what should have been a hushed and dramatic moment of the ceremony. 

Not to mention that they unintentionally photobombed what would have been a glorious shot of the bride! 

Ugh, so not classy. 

Punctuality is a simple way to show respect for the event. Arrive early and settle in so that you won’t be the guest everyone remembers for all the wrong reasons.

4) Draw attention away from the couple

One of the most cringey things I’ve seen online is a video of a man proposing to his beloved. It would’ve been romantic except that…he did it at another couple’s wedding. 

Okay, if the couple getting married gave their consent beforehand, this is fine. But if they didn’t….yikes. 

Why is this tacky? Because it pulls focus from the stars of the show. 

Anything that does that is not classy. This includes things like: 

• Making a big announcement not related to the wedding
• Giving an unplanned speech
• Wearing an over-the-top outfit
• Causing a scene

You get the idea. Classy women instinctively know that the wedding isn’t about them, so they’re careful not to do anything disruptive. 

5) Overindulge in alcohol

Speaking of causing a scene, this is probably the most common way to do that. And it’s never a pretty picture. 

It’s also kind of an effective (non) strategy to not get invited again to events like this. At my own wedding, a cousin of mine got drunk and rowdy, and I really wished I could uninvite her on the spot!

Like I said earlier, weddings are fun, but there needs to be some level of decorum. Actually, not just weddings, take this as a general rule for life. Getting sloshed in public is never wise.

Do the classy thing and drink in moderation. Enjoy yourself without going overboard so that you won’t cause any ruckus or awkward moments. 

6) Get in the photographer’s way

In this interesting Business Insider article, you’ll find a list of things wedding photographers hate. And one of them is – surprise! – you. 

That is, when you stand right between them and the shot they want to take. 

One photographer says, “The saddest thing is that some moments happen so quickly, that if someone stands in the way, there’s a chance I won’t be able to get that amazing picture that the couple would have cherished.”

Look, the couple paid big bucks to have a professional take their photos. It’s just not classy to disregard that, all because you wanted to take a photo yourself. 

Classy women do the graceful (and smart!) thing – sit back, enjoy the moment, and wait for the official photos to come out. 

There’s no sense in fighting with the photographer for a good spot when you know the pro’s photos will be better than yours anyway!

7) Give an inappropriate toast

So, you’ve been assigned to give the toast. Great! That means you enjoy a close enough relationship with the bride or groom to speak in front of their closest family and friends. 

But with great honor comes great responsibility, to paraphrase Spiderman. 

This is not the time for embarrassing stories, inappropriate jokes, or personal grievances. The guests, or maybe even the groom, do not need to know how wild the bride’s college days were. 

Classy women know that wedding toasts should be thoughtful, heartfelt, and appropriate for all ages. 

A good rule of thumb is to keep it light and sincere. Again, this isn’t about you – focus on the couple’s love and joy of the occasion. 

8) Criticize the wedding details or venue

Another thing classy women don’t do when attending a wedding is to play judge or critic. 

I’ve been to weddings where I overheard guests whispering things like, “I would’ve never picked this venue,” or “The chicken was rather dry, wasn’t it?” 

No matter how much you disagree with the couple’s choices, criticizing them is just not in good taste.

Weddings are deeply personal events, and every couple puts a lot of thought into their special day. Imagine how hurtful it would be if you were on the receiving end of this criticism. 

Besides, the fact that you’re there as a guest is an honor. Knowing how expensive it can be to mount a wedding, it’s actually a privilege to be included. It shows that the couple values your presence on their special day.

So don’t betray trust by nitpicking or critiquing the details.  As a classy guest, your role is to celebrate and uplift them. 

Final thoughts

It doesn’t really take much to be classy at weddings. All you need to do is to be mindful, respectful, and remember that the day is about the couple, not about you.

Focus on celebrating their love, follow the basic rules of etiquette, and enjoy yourself without drawing unnecessary attention. 

With a little thoughtfulness, you’ll be the kind of guest everyone loves to have – gracious, supportive, and classy.