Things that men do that actually sabotages them in the eyes of women

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | May 14, 2025, 5:41 am

Ladies and gentlemen, there’s a fine line between impressing a woman and inadvertently pushing her away.

We all know that men sometimes act in ways that leave women baffled. But what if those actions are actually sabotaging your chances with the fairer sex?

Sometimes, it’s not about grand gestures or over-the-top machismo. It’s the little things – the overlooked habits or attitudes – that can make all the difference.

In this article, we’re going to delve into those common pitfalls. We’ll look at the things that men do which, unbeknownst to them, end up being their own worst enemy in the eyes of women. So buckle up, gents, you’re in for an enlightening ride.

1) Trying too hard

Picture this, gentlemen. You’re out on a date, and you’re pulling out all the stops to impress the woman across the table. You’re cracking jokes, telling stories, and maybe even throwing in some magic tricks.

Sounds good, right? Well, not always.

Women appreciate effort, it’s true. But there’s a thin line between being attentive and being overbearing. When a man tries too hard to impress, it can come across as desperation instead of genuine interest.

This is one of those subtle things that can sabotage your chances without you even realizing it. You might think you’re being charming and engaging, but she could be seeing someone who’s trying too hard to win her over.

So gentlemen, ease up a little. Be yourself, show genuine interest in her and let things flow naturally. A little authenticity goes a long way in the eyes of women.

2) Overlooking the small things

Let me share a personal story. I once dated a woman who loved to talk – she had stories for days and a laugh that could light up a room. I listened, of course, but I often found myself waiting for my turn to speak, to share my own stories.

One day, she told me about her favorite childhood book. It wasn’t an earth-shattering revelation, just a small detail in the tapestry of her life. I listened, smiled, but then moved on to another topic.

A few weeks later, while shopping for her birthday gift, I completely forgot about that conversation. Instead, I bought her a piece of jewelry – expensive, shiny, and impersonal.

She appreciated the gift, but when she asked if I remembered her favorite book, my blank expression said it all. I had overlooked that small detail about her, and it cost me dearly.

Women notice the small things. It’s not always about grand gestures or expensive gifts; it’s about showing that you listen and care about their interests too. So men, take note of the little things – they matter more than you might think.

3) Dominating the conversation

Here’s something you might not know. According to a study published in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology, men tend to talk more than women in collaborative conversations. This might seem like a good thing – after all, who doesn’t want to be engaging and communicative?

However, the trouble starts when men dominate conversations, leaving little room for women to express their thoughts and feelings. This can make the woman feel unheard, insignificant, or even bored.

Women appreciate a good listener just as much as an engaging speaker. By creating a balance in the conversation where both parties get to express themselves, you show respect for her opinions and perspectives.

So remember, a good conversation isn’t just about speaking – it’s also about listening.

4) Neglecting personal grooming

Believe it or not, looks do matter. Not in the sense of having model-like features or a gym-sculpted body, but in terms of personal hygiene and grooming.

If you show up on a date with an unkempt beard, disheveled hair, or a questionable odor, it sends a message. And that message is not “I’m a laid-back guy”, but rather “I can’t be bothered to make an effort.”

Women appreciate a man who takes care of his appearance. It shows respect for oneself and for others. It’s not about being vain or superficial – it’s about presenting the best version of yourself.

So guys, before you step out the door, take a moment to groom yourself. A little effort can go a long way in creating a positive impression.

5) Being inauthentic

In a world that often urges us to put on masks and play roles, authenticity is a breath of fresh air.

When a man is not true to himself, trying to fit into a mold that he thinks will please others, it can be felt. Women have an intuitive sense about these things.

Pretending to be someone you’re not, feigning interest in things you don’t care about, or exaggerating your achievements doesn’t impress. It often has the opposite effect.

Being genuine and real is more attractive than any facade. It shows courage to be yourself and confidence in who you are.

So gentlemen, embrace your quirks, your passions, and your truths. Authenticity is the true key to attraction. It’s not just about impressing her, but connecting with her on a deeper level.

6) Not expressing emotions

There was a time when I believed that showing emotions was a sign of weakness. I would keep my feelings bottled up, thinking it made me appear strong and unshakeable.

Over time, I realized this belief was not only unhealthy for me, but it also distanced me from the women in my life. They often felt unsure about where they stood with me and found it hard to connect on a deeper level.

Being open about your feelings doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. Women appreciate a man who is in touch with his emotions and is not afraid to express them. It creates an atmosphere of trust and openness that can lead to deeper connection.

So don’t shy away from expressing your emotions. It’s okay to show vulnerability. Remember, real strength lies in being honest about how you feel.

7) Dismissing her interests

We all have our unique interests and passions. They’re part of what makes us who we are. So when a man casually dismisses a woman’s interests, it can feel like a dismissal of her as a person.

You don’t have to share all of her hobbies or passions, but showing genuine interest and respect for the things she loves is crucial. It’s another way of showing interest in her, in who she is as an individual.

Even if you’re not a fan of ballet or can’t understand her fascination with vintage stamps, make an effort to engage with her about it. Ask questions. Show curiosity.

By doing so, you’re not just learning about her interests – you’re showing her that she’s valued and respected. And that’s something every woman appreciates.

8) Failing to show respect

At the end of the day, it all boils down to one thing: respect.

Whether it’s in the way you speak to her, listen to her, or treat her, showing respect is the most essential aspect of any relationship.

Without respect, all the charm, good looks, and witty conversations mean nothing. A woman wants to feel valued, heard, and respected. When a man fails to show this basic courtesy, it’s a surefire way to sabotage himself in her eyes.

So gentlemen, always remember to show respect. It’s not just about treating a woman right; it’s about being a decent human being.

In essence: It’s about empathy

The complexity of human relationships and interactions often comes down to a simple, fundamental trait – empathy.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is not just a social skill but a vital aspect of our humanity.

In the context of men and women, empathy plays a critical role. When a man empathizes with a woman, he steps into her shoes. He sees the world from her perspective, understands her needs, and respects her individuality.

Empathy fosters respect, trust, and deep connection – the building blocks of any healthy relationship. So, if there’s one thing that men can do to avoid sabotaging themselves in the eyes of women, it’s to cultivate empathy.

Whether it’s listening attentively, showing genuine interest in her passions, or being authentic and vulnerable, these gestures are rooted in empathy. They show that you not only care about her but also value her as an individual.

So gentlemen, as we navigate the intricate dance of human relationships, let’s remember to lead with empathy. It’s not just about avoiding pitfalls; it’s about creating connections that are meaningful, respectful, and enduring.