Loneliness is a tricky emotion to navigate and only those who have experienced it deeply can truly understand its nuances.

People who feel this way often describe a sense of invisibility, as if they’re unseen, unheard, and disconnected, even in the midst of a crowd.

It’s a bittersweet symphony that plays on a loop in your mind, and only those who’ve danced to its tune can understand its rhythm.

Hey, Tina Fey here, your relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog.

I’ve seen people who have experienced this, lost in the sea of solitude.

From their experiences, I’ve gleaned some insights that I want to share with you today—8 things only people who have been deeply lonely can truly understand.

1) Embracing solitude

Loneliness has a unique way of teaching you about solitude.

Those who have felt deeply lonely understand that there’s a stark difference between just being alone and being lonely. It’s almost like an art form – one that requires acceptance and patience.

When you’re deeply lonely, you spend a lot of time in your own company.

This compels you to confront your thoughts, your fears, and your dreams. It’s like a mirror held up to your soul, reflecting everything back at you.

This might sound scary, but it’s also liberating. You become the painter of your own canvas, the author of your own story.

You start to embrace solitude, not as a punishment, but as an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.

2) The value of genuine connections

In the words of the great poet, Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Deep loneliness teaches you to cherish genuine connections. You understand that it’s better to have a few meaningful relationships than a crowd of shallow ones.

You also learn how to spot the difference. You become a connoisseur of authenticity, appreciating honesty and vulnerability more than anything else.

And when you do find those genuine connections, they shine like beacons in the darkness, making every moment of loneliness worth the wait.

3) Discovering self-reliance

One of the most profound lessons loneliness teaches you is self-reliance.

When you’re deeply lonely, you learn to depend on yourself, to be your own rock, your own cheerleader.

This concept it’s a pillar of my own journey to self-discovery.

Through my experiences, I realized the importance of breaking free from unhealthy attachments and learning to truly depend on oneself.

It’s such an important aspect of personal growth that I dedicated an entire book to it – Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

In this book, I share my insights on how to navigate the tricky waters of codependency and build healthier relationships.

Because ultimately, the relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.

Becoming self-reliant doesn’t mean shutting people out. It means understanding that you can stand alone without feeling lonely. It’s about finding strength within yourself and knowing that you are enough – just as you are.

4) Loneliness can lead to happiness

You might find this surprising, but deep loneliness can actually pave the way for profound happiness.

Yes, you read that right.

When you’re engulfed in the depths of loneliness, you start to strip away the layers of societal expectations and pressures. You’re forced to confront your true self, raw and unfiltered.

And while it’s not always easy or comfortable, it’s through this process that you discover what truly makes you happy.

Not what should make you happy according to society, not what makes others happy – but what brings you joy, peace and fulfillment.

It’s like finding a hidden treasure chest within yourself, filled with small nuggets of happiness waiting to be unearthed.

5) The depths of empathy

Experiencing deep loneliness has a peculiar way of stretching the heart. It teaches you empathy on a level that’s hard to comprehend unless you’ve been there.

You see, when you’ve been lonely, you understand what it’s like to feel invisible.

You know the ache of wanting to be seen, to be heard, to matter. And because of that, you’re less likely to let others feel that way.

You become more sensitive to those around you, more attuned to their feelings. You listen more, you reach out more, you care more.

Because deep down, you know what it’s like to wish for someone to do the same for you.

Loneliness may be a harsh teacher, but it’s lessons in empathy are invaluable.

6) The pain of invisibility

Let’s not sugarcoat this. Deep loneliness can feel like a soul-crushing weight, a silent scream echoing inside you. It’s the gnawing pain of feeling invisible, even when you’re surrounded by people.

You could be in a room full of laughter and conversation, but all you feel is an overwhelming sense of isolation. You smile, you nod, you play the part – but inside, you feel unseen, unheard, unacknowledged.

It’s a cruel irony – you’re desperate for connection, yet every interaction feels like a reminder of your isolation.

It’s a paradox that can only be truly understood by those who’ve been there.

And while it’s a difficult place to be, acknowledging this pain is the first step towards healing. It’s okay to not be okay.

Sometimes, we need to let ourselves feel the darkness before we can find our way back to the light.

7) The strength in vulnerability

As the renowned researcher and author, Brené Brown, wisely said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

When you’re deeply lonely, you’re often confronted with your vulnerabilities. You see them, raw and unfiltered, and it’s scary.

But acknowledging these vulnerabilities, embracing them instead of fighting them, is one of the bravest things you can do.

It’s through this acceptance that you find real strength.

You realize that it’s okay to not have all the answers, it’s okay to feel lost, it’s okay to hurt. It is in this space of vulnerability that you discover your resilience and strength.

And believe me, once you’ve done that, you emerge stronger and more courageous than ever before.

8) The longing for understanding

The most profound aspect of deep loneliness is the longing for understanding, for someone to truly see you, warts and all, and still accept you.

You crave someone who can comprehend your unspoken thoughts, your silent screams, your hidden fears.

You want to be seen – not just as you present yourself to the world, but as you truly are. You want someone to peel back the layers, to look beyond the mask, and understand the complexities within.

And while this longing can feel like a heavy burden, it’s also a beacon guiding you towards authentic and meaningful relationships.

It teaches you to seek depth over superficiality and honesty over pretense.

Final thoughts

Experiencing deep loneliness is a journey that has unique lessons and insights, ones that can only be truly understood by those who’ve walked this path.

And loneliness doesn’t have to be a life sentence, it can be just a phase, a stepping stone towards self-discovery, empathy, and genuine connections.

It’s a tough teacher but the lessons you learn are invaluable.

And if you’re navigating this journey right now, remember you’re not alone.

In the end, – it’s okay to feel lonely, it’s okay to be vulnerable. These experiences shape us and make us stronger.

So embrace your journey, even the lonely parts. After all, as they say, stars can’t shine without darkness.