10 things narcissists do at the start of every relationship

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | September 2, 2024, 7:53 am

Sometimes, we’re lucky enough to meet someone who makes us feel like a million bucks. But then there are times when we run into someone who seems absolutely perfect, only to show their not-so-nice side later on. Yep, you’ve got it – we’re talking about the smooth operators, the narcissists.

Now, these folks have a real talent for making you feel super special. But before you know it, they’re controlling everything and the relationship becomes all about them. Not fun, right?

So, are you ready? Fasten your seatbelt as we dive into the 10 things narcissists do at the start of every relationship.

You might be surprised at what you discover!

1) They come on strong

Ever started dating someone who seemed too good to be true? Did they shower you with compliments, gifts, and attention right away? That’s a common move for a narcissist.

Narcissists often try to sweep you off your feet from the get-go. They’ll make you feel like you’re the most important person in the world. It’s all part of their charm offensive.

Here’s a bad new, it’s not about you for them. It’s about getting you hooked so they can start to control the relationship.

2) They love bomb you

Love bombing is a term that’s often associated with narcissists. This means they will overwhelm you with expressions of love and admiration, but it’s usually too much, too soon.

They will bombard you with sweet texts, messages, and grand gestures. They might even start talking about a future together after just a few dates. While it might feel flattering initially, it’s a tactic narcissists use to make you emotionally dependent on them.

The truth is, real love takes time to develop and isn’t rushed.

3) They always turn the conversation back to themselves

Ever been in a conversation where you’re sharing something about your day, and suddenly, the focus shifts back to the other person? I’ve been there. I once dated a guy who had this knack for making every conversation about him.

I remember one time when I was excited about a promotion at work. I was sharing my news, but instead of congratulating me or asking more about it, he immediately started talking about his work and how he was the top performer in his team. It felt like my achievements didn’t even matter.

Narcissists have this tendency to always steer the conversation back to themselves because they believe their experiences, thoughts, and opinions are more important than anyone else’s. So watch out for this sign!

4) They often have a history of troubled relationships

Here’s an interesting fact: Narcissists typically have a series of broken relationships in their past. It’s no coincidence. They tend to burn bridges with former partners, friends, and even family members.

The reason behind this is their lack of empathy and their constant need for admiration and attention. When the other person can no longer meet their high demands or starts to see their true self, the narcissist often moves on to the next person who can fulfill their needs.

If your new partner seems to have a lot of drama or failed relationships in their past, it could be a red flag that they’re a narcissist.

5) They lack empathy

One of the hardest things about being in a relationship with a narcissist is their lack of empathy.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s what allows us to comfort our partners when they’re down and celebrate with them when they’re up.

But narcissists struggle with this. They find it hard to step into someone else’s shoes and feel their joy or pain. Instead, they focus on their own feelings and needs.

This lack of empathy can make you feel lonely and unsupported in the relationship, even when they’re right there next to you.

Let me tell you, everyone deserves a partner who can empathize with them and make them feel understood.

6) They gaslight you

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that narcissists often use, and trust me, it’s a tough one to deal with. I’ve personally been through this, and it can really mess with your head.

I remember being in a relationship where my partner would constantly deny things he clearly said or did. He’d make me feel like I was losing my mind or being too sensitive. It was his way of controlling the narrative and making me question my own reality.

When your partner is making you doubt your own memories or feelings, that’s gaslighting. It’s a clear sign of a narcissist. It’s important to trust yourself and seek help if you’re experiencing this kind of manipulation.

7) They’re always right

Let’s get real for a second. Nobody likes to be wrong. But in a healthy relationship, both people can admit when they’ve messed up. Not so with a narcissist.

Narcissists think they’re always right. Like, always. They believe they’re smarter, more experienced, or simply better than everyone else. They refuse to admit their mistakes and will go to great lengths to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Ever tried arguing with someone who can’t admit they’re wrong? It’s like banging your head against a brick wall. That’s a real tough spot to be in.

8) They crave constant admiration

Here’s a fascinating fact: It’s not just that narcissists love admiration, they actually need it to function well. It’s like their life fuel. This phenomenon is so common in narcissists that psychologists have a term for it – “narcissistic supply“.

Narcissists constantly seek praise and admiration from others to validate their self-worth. They love being the center of attention and can become upset or angry if they feel they’re not getting the recognition they deserve.

Don’t forget, a healthy relationship involves mutual respect and admiration, not one person constantly demanding validation.

9) They disregard your boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a crucial part of any healthy relationship. Unfortunately, narcissists don’t always get this. I learned this the hard way.

I once dated someone who seemed to have no concept of personal space or privacy. Whether it was showing up unannounced, going through my phone, or insisting on spending every minute together – my boundaries were constantly being violated.

Narcissists often see others, including their partners, as extensions of themselves. So they feel entitled to cross boundaries without considering the other person’s comfort or consent.

If your partner consistently disrespects your boundaries, it might be a sign that you’re dealing with a narcissist. It’s important to stand your ground and insist on your right to personal space and privacy.

10) They make you feel less than

Here’s the brutal truth: narcissists have a way of making you feel like you’re never quite good enough. They’re experts at subtle put-downs and backhanded compliments that leave you questioning your self-worth.

Ever had someone compliment you in a way that actually feels like a criticism? That’s a classic narcissist move.

They might say something like “You’re so smart, I don’t know why you don’t have a better job,” or “You look great, have you finally started working out?” It’s their way of keeping you off-balance and maintaining control.

Remember, nobody has the right to make you feel less than. If your partner frequently belittles you or makes you feel inadequate, it’s a sign of narcissistic behavior. You deserve to be with someone who lifts you up, not brings you down.