Have you ever noticed how we all have different memories?

Despite being in the same place at the same time.

For example…

Let’s say you’re reminiscing with old friends, talking about a party from years ago. You vividly remember drinking far too much and breaking a glass. Yet, your friends have no recollection, they just recall the amazing DJ that night.

Here’s the thing.

There’s some science behind what our brains choose to remember and choose to forget.

It’s all based on psychology.

So, if you’re wondering what makes memories stick, read on.

I’ll explain why we have these incredibly selective memories and cover seven common things that people will remember you for (in 20 years).

1) Make them feel something

When it comes to making memories, creating emotion is what really matters.

Psychologists from The University of Queensland summarize it nicely.

Put it this way.

I’m sure you remember your first kiss, when your team won the cup, or when a friend passed away.

But you probably don’t remember what you had for breakfast three years ago today.

Stimulating an emotion is an incredibly powerful tool used in sales, marketing, scriptwriting (for movies), and even social media. One of the first things you learn in advertising is to create an emotional connection with your audience.

It makes your message so much more memorable.

For example: “Buy our life assurance!” doesn’t really stick.

Whereas: “Protect your loved ones and secure their future!” hits home a little stronger.

Anything you do that makes someone feelsomething, will be memorable for many years in the future.

The stronger the emotion, the stronger the memory.

Which is why love is so memorable!

2) Be yourself

I’m talking about your unique individuality.

All those quirks, characteristics, and distinctive personality traits.

Don’t hold back! (If you want to be remembered).

Research shows a strong link between being distinctive and being memorable.

Think about it.

Who are you more likely to remember? Someone who blends into the background and conforms to social norms or a cross-dressing priest who does stand-up comedy.

You don’t have to be great-looking or extraordinarily talented either. 

Your personality is what makes you special!

Especially your sense of humor, which leads perfectly to our next point.

3) Give them a good laugh

Humor is a great way to make a lasting impression.

There are studies that prove it.

Scientists from the Ohio State University have found that humorous news stories are more likely to be remembered (and shared).

If you’re a regular procrastinator like me, I’m sure you can relate!

I occasionally find myself browsing the internet, mindlessly watching cat videos, or catching up on news stories.

Sometimes I don’t even remember what I’ve been doing! 

But those stand-out articles are usually things that make me laugh (and share with my friends).

It’s the same at social events too.

I remember funny people and typically forget wallflowers.

It’s an unfortunate reality. And it’s not to say those quieter people are any less interesting. If anything, shy individuals are actually more intriguing once you get to know them. Just not as memorable on first impressions.

4) Impact their personal journey

We all have important points in our lives.

Some call them epiphanies or moments of revelation.

You don’t always realize it at the time, but with hindsight, they’re easy to spot.

Whether it’s an amazing piece of advice, a key decision you make, a new job opportunity you accept, or moving to an entirely new country, they all have a huge impact on your personal journey.

They’re certainly memorable moments.

If you can help someone through a big change in their lives, you’ll be forever remembered.

I’m talking about those amazing school teachers we never forget or those mentors who took us under their wing.

Psychologists state that life-changing epiphanies are some of the most memorable experiences you’ll ever have.

Support those around you, be part of their journey, and they’ll be sure not to forget.

5) Be consistent

You’ve probably heard the expression: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!”

Well, it’s true. Especially for creating memories.

Help someone cross the road, and they probably won’t remember you in 20 years.

But, help them cross the road every day, for a whole year, and you’ll stay with them forever.

This goes for anything.

Even just making eye contact with someone on your walk to work every morning will eventually become memorable. You’ll probably progress to acknowledging each other and may even stop for a chat one day!

Psychologists call this memory consolidation.

In other words, memories grow stronger, the more you experience them.

Whatever you’re doing in life, sticking at it consistently, over a long period, makes you more memorable to others.

6) Cause conflict, negativity, and controversy

It’s not just positive emotions that are memorable.

Fear, anger, and frustration can leave an even bigger mark.

It’s probably not how you’d like to be remembered, but that doesn’t change the fact people don’t forget bad experiences in a hurry!

There’s a ton of science behind it.

Whether it’s an unpaid bill and mounting debts or a work colleague disrespecting you, stressful moments are prioritized for processing by the brain.

It’s how we’ve evolved.

Look at it as a defense mechanism. Our brains want to prevent the bad experience from happening again.

There is one exception.

Severe trauma like childhood abuse or sexual assault can have the opposite effect on our memory. It disrupts long-term storage, burying it away for self-protection.

7) Achieve greatness

Finally, and probably the best way to etch yourself into the memories of millions of people around the world is to achieve something culturally or historically significant.

I’m talking big hitters here.

Isaac Newton, William Shakespeare, Albert Einstein, Mozart.

We all remember them. At least, we’ve heard of them.

Mainly because they’ve had a huge impact on our lives. From listening to their music to understanding their scientific theories.

Not only have they been consistently in our lives but they’ve made us feel something (which makes them psychologically so memorable).

Now, I’m an eternal optimist. And never say never! 

But it’s unlikely that you’ll ever reach the heights of these historical greats.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Aim to at least have an impact on your friend group or local community. From there, the sky really is the limit.