One of the most fascinating things I find in us humans is the way we handle life’s challenges differently. 

Some people breeze through challenges quickly, while others languish in despair. Some people go about life complaining, while others see hope everywhere. 

The difference, I think, lies in mental strength. But what exactly does it mean to be mentally strong? What sets mentally strong people apart from the rest? 

Well, just as much as it’s about what they do, it’s also about what they don’t do. 

The main thing you’ll notice about mentally strong people is that they don’t waste precious moments dwelling on things that don’t bring them closer to their goals or make them better people.

I’m going to share with you eight things that mentally strong people don’t waste their time on. These are things that may seem important on the surface, but when you dig a little deeper, they’re just distractions.

Let’s dive in! 

1) Worrying about the past

Mentally strong people understand that the past is just that – past. It’s something that has happened, and no amount of thinking or dwelling on it can change what has occurred.

Sure, we can learn from our past mistakes. But once the lesson is learned, mentally strong people move on. They don’t waste their time and energy replaying past scenarios or wishing things could have been different.

What’s done is done. They focus on the present moment and on preparing for the future, because those are the things they can actually influence and control.

Dwelling on the past only serves to divert your attention from what you can do right now. So, take a page from mentally strong people’s book – leave the past in the past, focus on the now and plan for the future.

2) Trying to please everyone

Early in my career, I found myself trying to make everyone happy, and it was exhausting. I was bending over backwards, saying yes to everything and everyone, and as a result, I was stressed and overworked.

Mentally strong people, I realized, don’t do this. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. They know their worth doesn’t come from others’ approval but from within themselves.

Once I grasped this concept, I started setting boundaries. It wasn’t easy at first, saying no to things and risking disappointing some people. But over time, it got easier. 

And the best part? I became happier and more productive when I wasn’t spread so thin.

Now, I spend zero time worrying about pleasing everyone and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. If you’re stuck in this people-pleasing trap, it’s time to break free. Trust me, your mental health will thank you.

3) Fear of change

Change is another thing mentally strong people don’t waste time being afraid of. They understand that change is a constant part of life and adapting to it is crucial for growth and survival.

Interestingly, research shows that our brains are wired to resist change. For one, it’s a survival mechanism that helped our ancestors stay safe in potentially dangerous unknown situations.

And two, it’s a form of energy conservation. Dealing with change costs us energy, so the brain tries to shut that down. 

But in today’s world, being open to change is more beneficial than resisting it.

So, mentally strong people train their brains to accept change, seeing it as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than something to fear. They look at change as a way to improve their lives and get closer to their goals.

If you find yourself dreading change, remember that it’s just another part of life. Embrace it, learn from it, and use it to propel yourself forward.

4) Comparing themselves to others

One of the most futile things you can do (and one I wish I’d learned much sooner) is compare yourself to others. Mentally strong people understand this, and they don’t waste their time doing it.

Everyone is on their own unique journey, with different strengths, weaknesses, experiences, and goals. Comparing your progress or success to someone else’s is like comparing apples to oranges – it just doesn’t make sense.

Instead of looking to others and feeling inadequate, mentally strong people focus on their own path. They measure their success based on their own growth and improvements, not how they stack up against others.

5) Negative self-talk

Similarly, mentally strong people don’t waste time beating themselves up with negative self-talk. They understand that our thoughts greatly influence our feelings and actions.

Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging, causing stress, limiting beliefs, and even self-sabotage. 

So, for mentally strong people, it’s a priority to actively work to recognize and challenge these negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and realistic beliefs.

Plus, they practice self-compassion, treating themselves with the same kindness and understanding they would offer to a friend. 

I’ve had my own share of wrestling and grappling with my own inner critic, but I’ve learned to take a moment to stop and challenge those thoughts. Mistakes are no longer opportunities for me to berate myself, but opportunities to learn something new. 

This brings me to my next point…

6) The need for perfection

Aside from giving my inner critic too much control, I also used to be such a perfectionist. That’s not really surprising, since these two traits often go hand-in-hand. 

The thing is, it’s a dead-end goal. No one is perfect. Mentally strong people understand this and they don’t waste time striving for perfection.

Perfectionism can lead to stress, burnout, and even mental health issues like anxiety and depression. It can also prevent you from taking risks or trying new things for fear of not being perfect.

Instead, they focus on progress, not perfection. They set realistic goals, celebrate their achievements, and view mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. 

7) Holding onto resentment

Are you the type to nurse a grudge? Keep feelings of anger and resentment within you? 

That’s not something mentally strong people waste time on. They give themselves the gift of forgiveness. 

Because that’s what forgiveness really is – a gift to yourself more than for the person who hurt you. 

Letting go of resentment doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or excusing the wrong. It simply means choosing to free yourself from the burden of bitterness.

It’s not always easy, but the freedom and peace that come from releasing resentment are worth it. Forgiveness allows you to focus on things that bring joy, love, and positivity into your life. That’s something mentally strong people know, and practice, regularly.

8) Things they can’t control

Lastly, mentally strong people don’t waste time or energy on things they can’t control. 

Because they understand this crucial point – it’s not the situation, but how they respond to it that truly matters.

Worrying about things outside your control achieves nothing. It won’t change the situation, but it will drain your mental energy and cause unnecessary stress.

Instead, focus on what you can control – your actions, your attitude, your responses. This is where your power lies. This is how you create change in your life.

Final thoughts

The strength of the human mind is remarkable. It has the power to influence our actions, shape our perceptions, and determine our resilience in the face of adversity.

That’s why, if left unchecked, these habits we’ve discussed can really sabotage your efforts to become mentally stronger. 

But just like any other habits, you can unlearn them. As long as you make a conscious and consistent effort, you can develop mental strength. 

As Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, and renowned psychiatrist once said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

I hope you use your space wisely. Start by freeing up your mind from these unnecessary worries and you’ll see a big difference!