8 things men do on dates when they lack basic social skills, according to relationship experts
We all eagerly await the thrill of dating, envisioning romantic evenings filled with laughter, connection, and the promise of something meaningful.
Yet, what happens when those dream dates take an unexpected turn? You find yourself across from someone charming, but their relentless self-promotion leaves you struggling to get a word in.
Or perhaps your personal space is invaded, making you feel uncomfortable and exposed.
These moments can quickly shift the mood from excitement to unease, revealing unsettling signs that your date may lack crucial social skills.
Being aware of these behaviors is vital, as they can derail your romantic hopes. Genuine connections matter, and you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration.
1) Dominating the conversation
Ever been on a date where you barely got a word in?
Well, you’re not the only one.
A common sign of lacking social skills is when a man dominates the conversation, often talking about himself and his interests, and barely asking about yours.
It’s as if he’s on a solo expedition, oblivious to the fact that a conversation is a two-way street.
A date is about getting to know each other, not an opportunity for one person to monopolize the interaction.
So, if you find yourself stuck in monologue territory, chances are, this guy could do with some lessons in social etiquette.
2) Ignoring personal space
Let me share a little story with you.
A while back, I remember going on a date with this guy who seemed nice at first.
But then, he started invading my personal space. He’d lean in too close, touch my arm frequently, and even tried to hold my hand – and this was all on the first date!
It felt uncomfortable and honestly, a little off-putting.
Respecting personal space is a fundamental social skill. Disregarding this boundary shows a clear lack of understanding of basic social norms. As Emily Post wisely said, “Good manners reflect something from inside—an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.”
When your date invades that space and makes you uneasy, trust your instincts—it might be a subtle sign something’s off.
3) Lack of empathy
There was this one date. He seemed fun, charming – the kind of guy you’d want to get to know more. But as the evening wore on, something became increasingly evident – he lacked empathy.
I opened up regarding a difficult situation at work, only to be met with a shrug and a swift change of topic back to himself. His harsh reaction to the waiter’s minor error in our order was equally telling; it came across as cold and dismissive.
These subtle behaviors revealed a lot regarding his social skills—or lack thereof.
Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others, serving as a cornerstone for meaningful connections. A date who can’t grasp this essential principle might not be worth considering for a future together.
4) Disregarding your opinions
Imagine sitting across from someone on a date, sharing your passion for a particular book genre.
Just when you’re getting into it, your date interrupts, dismissing your enthusiasm as “childish” and “not real literature.” This reaction goes beyond mere taste; it reveals a fundamental disregard for your viewpoint.
The ability to embrace differing perspectives is a crucial social skill, reflecting a person’s capacity to appreciate others.
It’s not necessary to agree on every detail, but recognizing that each opinion holds significance is vital. A lack of this understanding signals deeper issues regarding their social awareness.
In any budding relationship, valuing individuality and opinions serves as a solid foundation. Without it, the prospect of a meaningful connection may be lost.
The words of Audre Lorde remind us, “It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”
5) Constantly checking their phone
Did you know the average person checks their phone 58 times a day? Now, picture your date doing this during your time together. It can quickly turn into a mood killer!
Constantly texting, scrolling through social media, or checking emails creates an atmosphere where genuine connection feels impossible.
It’s as if there are three participants in the conversation: your date, you, and their phone.
Being present and attentive holds significant importance, especially during a date.
A date who can’t set their phone aside for even an hour to engage in meaningful conversation clearly lacks basic social skills. After all, who wants to compete with a smartphone for attention?
6) Failing to read non-verbal cues
Non-verbal communication is a fascinating thing, isn’t it?
A slight shift in body language, a fleeting expression, an awkward silence – they all can tell us so much if we’re paying attention.
Here’s the deal.
During one date, there was an uncomfortable moment as my date persistently complimented my appearance. Despite my efforts to subtly redirect the conversation toward our shared interests, he remained oblivious to the hint.
This inability to recognize non-verbal cues can indicate an understanding of basic social skills. Communication extends beyond mere words; it encompasses the subtleties of body language and tone.
In any date setting, tuning in to whether both parties are in sync beyond spoken dialogue can provide valuable insights. Paying attention to non-verbal signals can unveil much about the connection between two people.
7) Neglecting the value of authenticity
We’ve all experienced it—a date with someone trying just a bit too hard to impress, to the point of losing their authenticity.
One particular date featured a guy who spent the whole evening name-dropping and exaggerating his accomplishments, transforming the experience into a sales pitch instead of a genuine conversation.
Experts emphasize that authenticity is crucial for meaningful connections. Putting on a facade to impress rarely fosters lasting relationships.
What truly matters is creating an environment where the other person feels comfortable and valued for who they are.
Embracing one’s true self during a date is essential. Perfection isn’t necessary; none of us are without flaws. Genuine behavior resonates, fostering a relaxed atmosphere that enriches the experience for both individuals.
8) Forgetting the basics of etiquette
Etiquette extends far beyond merely using the right fork at a fancy dinner; it encompasses the thoughtfulness and consideration for the feelings and comfort of those around you.
Take, for example, showing up late for a date. While it may seem like a minor inconvenience, it conveys a clear message: your time isn’t valued. Being punctual demonstrates respect and consideration, creating a positive foundation for any interaction.
Additionally, practices such as putting away your phone during dinner signal that your date is your priority.
Listening actively—nodding in acknowledgment, asking follow-up questions—shows genuine interest and engagement. Even simple gestures like holding the door open or offering a compliment can make a significant difference.
Ultimately, good etiquette fosters trust and connection, transforming ordinary encounters into meaningful experiences that leave a lasting impression.
The takeaway
If any of these signs resonate, it’s time to reflect.
The good news? Everyone has room for growth. We’re all navigating our social interactions and learning along the way.
Recognize and acknowledge these behaviors as opportunities for improvement. They don’t define a person’s worth, but rather highlight areas for development.
Always remember—respect, empathy, and genuine connection are essential in any relationship.
Dating can feel like a minefield, yet it also offers opportunities for personal growth and lasting connections. Trust your instincts, uphold your boundaries, and never settle for less than you deserve.
Maya Angelou insightfully expressed, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Stay alert, keep your standards high, and value yourself.
The journey to finding genuine connection begins within.