If you’ve spent time with a man who’s insecure, you’ll know that some of their behaviors can seem, well, rather unmanly.

An insecure man’s actions often reflect his lack of confidence and can leave you feeling confused or frustrated.

You might notice him acting out in ways that seem irrational or overly defensive.

He might crave constant reassurance or become unnecessarily competitive.

Insecurity isn’t a deliberate choice, but rather a psychological condition.

But everyone experiences insecurity differently and being in a relationship with an insecure man can bring its own unique challenges.

But don’t worry, there are ways to navigate these challenges.

Understanding their behaviors is a good starting point.

In this article, we’ll delve into ‘8 things insecure men do that are actually very unmanly, according to a psychologist’.

1) Constant need for reassurance

One of the key signs of an insecure man, according to psychologists, is a constant need for reassurance.

This is essentially a reflection of their lack of self-esteem.

For example, he might frequently ask if you love him or question your fidelity without any reason to do so.

He might insist on constant communication throughout the day, not out of affection, but out of a need to reassure himself about your feelings towards him.

This constant need for reassurance isn’t just draining – it’s also fundamentally unmanly.

It’s an admission that he doesn’t trust in his own worth or in the strength of your feelings for him.

Remember though, this behavior isn’t necessarily deliberate.

It’s driven by insecurity, a psychological condition that can be managed with understanding and patience.

However, it’s important to remember that you are not responsible for his insecurity.

While you can be supportive, it’s ultimately up to him to work on his issues.

2) Overcompensating through aggression

Interestingly, insecure men often resort to aggression to mask their insecurities.

This might seem like a display of strength or masculinity, but psychologists argue it’s actually the opposite.

For instance, he might pick fights or arguments over trivial matters, or he may react defensively even when there’s no perceived threat.

He may also adopt an aggressive posture in social situations, trying to dominate conversations or belittle others to make himself feel superior.

This aggressive behavior is unmanly because it comes from a place of fear and insecurity, not confidence or strength.

It’s a knee-jerk reaction designed to protect his fragile ego, rather than a conscious choice based on self-assurance.

Understanding the root cause of this aggression can help in dealing with such situations more effectively.

Instead of engaging in arguments or getting intimidated, you can choose to respond calmly and assertively, reassuring him that there’s no need for hostilities.

This approach not only diffuses tension but also encourages healthier communication patterns.

3) Engaging in excessive comparisons

Insecure men often have a habit of comparing themselves with others, especially other men.

This could be about anything – physical appearance, career achievements, financial status, or even personal relationships.

He may constantly bring up how someone else is doing better than him, or he might put down others to make himself feel superior.

This behavior is driven by the need to validate his self-worth, as he finds it difficult to feel secure about himself without external validation.

This incessant comparison not only erodes his self-esteem, but it’s also unmanly as it shows a lack of contentment and confidence in his own abilities and achievements.

The act of comparison is a natural human instinct.

However, when it becomes excessive or negative, it can be detrimental to mental health and personal growth.

It’s important to remind him that everyone has their own unique path and pace in life, and that ‘success’ cannot be universally defined or measured.

Research indicates that men who frequently compare themselves to others, particularly on social media, may experience increased feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, which can negatively impact their self-esteem and relationships.

4) Overanalyzing every mistake

It’s not uncommon for insecure men to overanalyze every mistake they make.

Whether it’s a minor slip-up at work or a miscommunication in a relationship, they tend to dwell on these errors, often blowing them out of proportion.

This comes from a fear of being seen as inadequate or less than perfect, which can be incredibly difficult to bear for someone grappling with insecurity.

While this behavior might seem unmanly, it’s important to remember that it stems from a place of vulnerability.

The fear of making mistakes can be crippling, and it takes a lot of courage to face this fear head-on.

Everyone makes mistakes – they’re an inevitable part of life and an opportunity for growth and learning.

It can be helpful to remind him that it’s okay to make mistakes, and that it doesn’t make him any less of a person or any less manly.

In fact, the ability to own up to one’s mistakes and learn from them is a true mark of strength and maturity.

5) Difficulty in expressing emotions

Insecure men often find it challenging to express their emotions openly.

They may fear that showing vulnerability will make them appear weak, and so they bottle up their feelings.

For instance, instead of expressing sadness or fear, he might try to hide these emotions behind a mask of indifference or even anger.

He might find it hard to say “I love you,” or struggle to express appreciation or gratitude.

This difficulty in expressing emotions doesn’t make him more manly.

Instead, it can lead to emotional disconnect and misunderstandings in relationships.

Many of us have been taught that showing emotions is a sign of weakness, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Expressing one’s feelings requires courage and honesty, and it’s an essential part of forming deep, meaningful connections with others.

It’s okay to let him know that being in touch with his emotions doesn’t make him less of a man – on the contrary, it makes him more human.

Research found that men often suppress emotions due to societal expectations, leading to increased stress and potential mental health issues.

6) Overly possessive or controlling behavior

Being with an insecure man, you might notice him displaying overly possessive or controlling behaviors.

For example, he might want to know your whereabouts all the time or get uncomfortable when you spend time with friends or family without him.

I remember a friend of mine who was dating a guy who constantly checked her phone, monitored her social media, and even dictated what she should wear.

He justified this by saying he was just being protective and caring.

But psychologists point out that this is unmanly and a clear sign of insecurity.

Healthy relationships are built on trust and respect for each other’s independence and personal space.

7) Avoiding confrontation or difficult conversations

Insecure men often shy away from confrontation or difficult conversations.

They might fear that such discussions could lead to conflict, reveal their insecurities, or worse, end the relationship.

They might agree with you on every topic, even when they have a different opinion, just to avoid a potential argument.

They might also evade discussions about future plans or commitment, as these can trigger their insecurities.

This evasion isn’t manly.

It’s a sign of fear and insecurity.

In a mature relationship, open communication is crucial.

Disagreements and confrontations are not always negative; they can lead to growth, understanding, and stronger bonds.

8) Seeking constant validation

The final sign of an insecure man is the continuous need for validation.

They often seek approval for their actions, decisions, and even their self-worth.

For example, he might constantly seek compliments about his looks or his work.

He may fish for praise or validation, not just from you, but from everyone around him.

Research indicates that men with fragile self-esteem often feel the need to dominate others, particularly women, to feel secure in their masculinity.

While it’s natural to desire affirmation from time to time, needing constant validation can be exhausting for both him and those around him.

It’s also unmanly because it shows a lack of self-confidence and self-belief.

The most important thing to remember is that everyone has insecurities, but they don’t define us.

Helping an insecure man understand this can be a game-changer.

It can lead him towards personal growth, boost his confidence, and ultimately help him become more secure in his manhood.

Final thoughts

Understanding insecurities is a crucial step in personal growth – and it’s no different for men.

The behaviors we’ve discussed in this article are not meant to criticize or belittle, but rather to shed light on how insecurities can manifest in unmanly ways.

Remember, being ‘manly’ isn’t about being flawless or invincible.

It’s about having the courage to face one’s fears, the strength to accept and learn from mistakes, and the confidence to be true to oneself.

Ultimately, the choice lies with the individual.

It’s up to each man to recognize his insecurities and work towards overcoming them.

Time spent on self-improvement is never wasted.

By understanding and addressing these behaviors, insecure men can grow into more confident, secure, and yes, manly individuals.

Here’s to fostering healthier relationships, promoting self-growth, and embracing true manliness!