7 things in life introverts find emotionally exhausting, according to psychology

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | December 4, 2024, 10:48 pm

If you’re an introvert like me, you know that some life situations can be emotionally draining.

Being an introvert isn’t a lifestyle choice, but a fundamental part of our personality, shaped by psychology and neuroscience.

Introverts process the world differently, which means some experiences are bound to hit us harder. Certain situations feel overwhelming to us and suck the emotional energy right out of us.

Let’s dive into seven things that tend to leave introverts emotionally drained—and how recognizing these can help us find balance and recharge when we need it most.

1) Networking events

Fellow introverts, you know the drill. You walk into a room full of strangers, armed with a handful of business cards and a mental script of small talk topics.

Networking events are often seen as a necessary evil in many professional fields. But for introverts, they can be downright draining.

It’s not that we don’t like people or conversation, it’s just that these events require constant social interaction, usually with people we don’t know well.

Psychology tells us that introverts tend to prefer deep, meaningful conversations over small talk.

Networking events, however, are often structured around brief, surface-level interactions – the exact opposite of what we thrive on.

As a result, we may find ourselves feeling emotionally exhausted after just an hour or two at such an event. 

Remember this: it’s okay to step out for a breather if you need to, or even skip these events altogether if they’re not mandatory.

Taking care of your emotional health is important, and there are other ways to make connections that might suit your introverted nature better.

2) Alone time

Wait, what? Isn’t alone time supposed to be an introvert’s paradise?

Yes and no. While introverts do recharge by spending time alone, there’s a fine line between healthy solitude and isolation. If we cross that line, our alone time can quickly become emotionally exhausting.

Excessive solitude can lead to feelings of loneliness or disconnection. Even though we crave quiet and peace, we’re still human beings who need social interaction and connections with others.

Moreover, spending too much time alone can lead to overthinking, which is a common trait among introverts. Overthinking can stir up anxiety and stress, leaving us feeling emotionally drained.

So while it might seem contradictory, even introverts need to balance their alone time with some level of social interaction to maintain emotional well-being. It’s all about finding the right balance that works for us.

3) Unexpected changes

Have you ever had your day planned out perfectly, only to have something unexpected come up and throw everything off?

If you’re an introvert, this is likely to be more than just a minor annoyance.

Introverts can’t stop thinking about what lies ahead because they need to be prepared for it. This is due to a higher level of brain activity in areas linked to planning and problem solving. 

This heightened sensitivity can make unexpected changes feel overwhelming and emotionally exhausting.

So when a last-minute meeting pops up at work or a friend cancels plans at the eleventh hour, it can throw us for a loop.

We might need some extra time to adjust and realign our energy. It doesn’t mean we’re inflexible or stubborn; our brains are simply working overtime to process the change.

If this happens to you, take a moment to recalibrate when things don’t go as planned. Your emotional well-being matters.

4) Emotional overload

You know that feeling when you’ve been around a lot of strong emotions? Maybe a friend is going through a breakup, or your family has been arguing.

As an introvert, this can feel like you’re carrying a heavy load.

You see, introverts often absorb the feelings of those around them – like emotional sponges.

We deeply empathize with others, and while it’s a beautiful trait to have, it can also be incredibly exhausting. You might feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, even if it’s not your own.

I can’t emphasize enough the importance of setting boundaries. You’re allowed to protect your own emotional energy. You don’t have to carry everyone else’s emotions all the time.

It’s not selfish – it’s necessary. And you deserve to take care of your own emotional well-being, too.

5) Overstimulation

Ever had one of those days where everything is just too much? The noise, the lights, the people – it’s like being in a crowded market with all your senses on high alert.

This is known as overstimulation, and for introverts, it can be a regular occurrence.

Our brains are often more sensitive to external stimuli, so places like busy malls, crowded parties, or even a bustling office can quickly become overwhelming.

You might find yourself feeling irritable, anxious, or tired without knowing why. That’s your brain telling you it’s time to step away and find a quiet place to recharge. Listen to it.

It’s completely normal for introverts to need an escape from sensory overload. It’s part of who we are.

So next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to take a step back and give yourself the peace and quiet you need. 

6) Group projects

Remember back in school when the teacher would announce a group project and your heart would sink a little? That feeling doesn’t necessarily go away as an adult.

For introverts, group projects can be a source of stress.

We do work well with others, thanks to our high sense of empathy. But these settings often involve a lot of social interaction, negotiation, and compromise, which can deplete our social and emotional batteries quickly. 

There was this one time when I was assigned to a group project at work. The constant meetings, brainstorming sessions, and the need to make collective decisions on every little detail was both mentally and emotionally draining.

But don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom. With clear communication and understanding team members, group projects can be manageable. 

7) Pretending to be extroverted

I’m going to tell it like it is: pretending to be something you’re not is exhausting. But a lot of introverts feel compelled to do this because the world prizes extroverts. 

You might think that if you can just act like an extrovert – be more outgoing, more social, more talkative – everything will be easier.

But the truth is, it’s not sustainable and it’s not being true to who you are. Research shows that keeping up this facade merely depletes you in the long term.

Introversion is not a flaw to be fixed. It’s a part of you, and it comes with its own strengths. You don’t have to pretend to be someone else to fit in or succeed.

It’s high time we stop equating social worth with extroversion. Embrace your introversion. Value your own strengths. You are enough, just as you are.

Conclusion

If there’s one thing to take away from this, it’s this: Embrace your introversion. It’s a part of who you are, and it is not a weakness.

Being an introvert means you have a unique set of strengths – deep thinking, empathy, and the ability to work independently. These are all significant assets in both personal and professional life.

Sure, there are challenges and situations that can be emotionally draining. But remember, it’s okay to take care of your emotional health. It’s okay to set boundaries and say no when you need to.

Your introversion is a part of you. Embrace it. Celebrate it. And above all, remember that you are enough, just as you are.