Have you ever watched someone navigate a complex social situation with what seems like effortless grace and thought, How do they always know the right thing to say or do?

The truth is, people who are highly intelligent often have a knack for understanding the deeper layers of human behavior.

It’s not just about IQ or book smarts—it’s their ability to read between the lines, empathize, and grasp the unspoken rules of social dynamics that sets them apart.

Over the years, psychology has shed light on how these individuals approach relationships, conflicts, and communication with a unique perspective.

And let’s be honest, we’ve all wished we could decode the mystery of human nature as seamlessly as they do.

So, let’s dive into seven fascinating things highly intelligent people seem to understand about others—things that might just change how you see the world around you. I hope they can help you as much as they’ve helped me.

Let’s dive right in.

1) Empathy

The first understanding that sets highly intelligent people apart is their grasp of empathy.

This may seem like a given, but it’s surprising how many people lack this crucial skill. 

I used to struggle with this. I was so focused on my own thoughts and feelings that I often missed what others were going through. But when I delved into psychology, I came to realize the power of empathy.

Empathy allows us to connect with others on a deeper level, to understand their motivations, fears, and desires. This understanding can drastically improve our relationships and our ability to navigate social situations.

If you’re finding it hard to empathize, start small: next time you’re having a conversation, try to really listen. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak – focus on the other person’s words, their tone of voice, their body language.

Try to understand what they’re feeling.

This simple shift in focus can be the first step towards developing a deeper understanding of others.

2) Non-verbal communication

This was a game-changer for me. I used to rely solely on words, completely missing out on the wealth of information that body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can provide.

As psychologist Albert Mehrabian famously  concluded from his research in communication, 7% of any message is conveyed through words, 38% through certain vocal elements, and 55% through non-verbal elements (facial expressions, gestures, posture, etc).

When I began paying attention to these non-verbal cues, my interactions with others transformed. I was able to sense feelings and thoughts that were left unspoken.

If you’re not used to this, it can feel like learning a new language. But with practice, interpreting non-verbal communication can become second nature.

Start by observing people around you – friends, family members, even strangers in a public place. Notice their body language, their facial expressions, the tone of their voice. Try to interpret what they’re communicating beyond their words.

This understanding can give you a deeper insight into human behavior and open up a whole new level of communication.

3) Emotional intelligence

For the longest time, I misunderstood this concept. I thought it was only about being in touch with my own emotions. However, I soon learned that it was much more than that.

Emotional intelligence is not just about recognizing and managing our own emotions, but also understanding and responding to the emotions of others. It is the ability to navigate social situations with sensitivity and tact.

I remember being at a friend’s party a few years back. I could tell that one of my close friends was upset, even though she was laughing and joking with everyone else.

Because I had developed my emotional intelligence, I could pick up on the subtle signs of her distress – her forced laughter, her distracted gaze. I pulled her aside and asked if everything was okay, giving her the space to open up about the issues she was facing.

If you’re looking to develop your emotional intelligence, start by paying closer attention to your own emotions.

Notice how they influence your behavior and interactions with others. At the same time, try to be more attentive to other people’s feelings.

4) Adaptability

Highly intelligent people recognize that change is the only constant in life, and they’re not only prepared for it – they embrace it.

For me, this was a tough lesson. I used to resist change, clinging to my comfort zone even when it wasn’t serving me well. 

Research shows that individuals who demonstrate high levels of adaptability are better at managing stress, display stronger leadership skills, and have better overall job performance.

When I started embracing change instead of resisting it, I found that not only was I able to handle unexpected situations better, but I also became more open to new ideas and perspectives.

Start by changing your mindset when it’s hard for you to adapt. Instead of viewing change as something scary or negative, see it as an opportunity for growth and learning.

This is not about predicting or controlling the future – it’s about being flexible and resilient enough to handle whatever comes your way.

5) The value of listening

I’ll admit, I used to be the kind of person who would wait for my turn to speak rather than truly listening to what the other person was saying. I thought I was being engaging, but in reality, I was missing out on truly understanding others.

Highly intelligent people know that listening goes beyond just hearing words. It’s about being present in the conversation and showing genuine interest in what the other person has to say.

When I started practicing active listening, my conversations became more meaningful. I was able to connect with people on a deeper level and gain insights that I would’ve missed otherwise.

Improving your listening skills means making a conscious effort to focus on the speaker. Don’t interrupt or try to steer the conversation. Show that you’re interested and receptive by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and providing feedback.

6) Growth mindset

I used to believe that intelligence and abilities were fixed. You were either born smart, or you weren’t. But then I came across the work of psychologist Carol Dweck, and it changed my perspective.

Dweck famously said, “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point.”

This resonated with me deeply.

I started to see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. I became more open to feedback and less afraid of failure. And most importantly, I learned to celebrate progress, no matter how small.

If you’re stuck in a fixed mindset, remember Dweck’s words. Each failure is a chance to learn, and each success is a result of hard work and perseverance. It’s never too late to grow and improve.

7) The power of vulnerability

We often think of vulnerability as a weakness. I know I did.

We’re taught to hide our flaws and fears, to project an image of perfection. But I’ve come to realize that vulnerability is not a weakness – it’s a strength.

Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, has spent her career studying vulnerability. She says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

When we embrace our vulnerability, we allow others to see us as we truly are. This fosters deeper connections and engenders trust.

Once, I was giving a presentation to a large group of people. Instead of trying to appear perfect, I admitted upfront that I was nervous. To my surprise, this made the audience warm up to me more. They appreciated my honesty and could relate to my feelings.

If you want to harness the power of vulnerability, start by being honest about your feelings and imperfections. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, you’ll find that people respect and appreciate your authenticity.

Conclusion

Understanding others is not just about intelligence – it’s about empathy, adaptability, a growth mindset, and so much more.

The seven insights we’ve discussed in this article are not exclusive to highly intelligent people. They’re skills and perspectives that anyone can develop with time and effort.

My advice?

Start small. Choose one insight that resonates with you and focus on it for a while. Practice it in your daily interactions and observe the changes in your relationships and your understanding of others.

True understanding comes from genuine curiosity and openness. So, stay curious, be open, and most importantly, be patient with yourself.

After all, understanding others is a journey, not a destination. Happy journeying!