8 things happy people never divulge to strangers, according to psychology

Tara Whitmore by Tara Whitmore | December 2, 2024, 5:22 pm

Have you ever noticed how truly happy people have an air of calm confidence about them? They don’t feel the need to overshare or seek validation from everyone they meet.

Instead, they’re selective about what they share and with whom, protecting their energy and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Happiness often comes from within, and part of that is knowing when to keep certain things private.

In this article, we’ll uncover eight things happy people never divulge to strangers. It’s not about being secretive—it’s about being intentional with their words and knowing the value of discretion.

Let’s take a closer look!

1) Personal struggles

Happy people tend to keep their personal struggles to themselves when interacting with strangers.

This isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s simply understanding the difference between sharing and oversharing.

Psychology suggests that happy individuals often refrain from divulging their deepest difficulties or challenges to those they don’t know well.

It doesn’t mean they avoid these topics altogether or deny the existence of problems.

Instead, they opt to discuss these more sensitive issues with trusted friends or family, people who have a proven track record of providing support.

Reserving such personal information for their inner circle helps happy people maintain a positive outlook and energy, especially in casual or first-time encounters.

It also fosters healthier relationships, as they avoid burdening others with their issues, particularly those who might not be equipped to offer the support or advice they might need.

2) Their level of happiness

Interestingly, one thing that happy people often don’t disclose to strangers is their actual level of happiness.

While it may seem logical to assume that openly expressing joy or contentment would increase it, psychology suggests otherwise.

Happy individuals understand that happiness is an internal state, not a badge to display or a status to report.

They are aware that constantly verbalizing their happiness could lead to others perceiving them as boasting or being inauthentic.

Moreover, they realize that their happiness is not dependent on external validation or approval. They don’t feel the need to convince others of their happiness; they simply live it.

By not declaring their happiness, they avoid setting expectations for themselves or inadvertently pressuring others to match their emotional state.

Instead, they focus on genuinely living their joy and letting it shine through their actions and interactions, rather than through explicit declarations.

3) Their acts of kindness

Happy people often engage in acts of kindness, but they don’t usually broadcast these deeds to the world, let alone to strangers.

This is because they understand that the intention behind kindness matters. They’re not doing good deeds for recognition or praise, but simply because it’s the right thing to do.

Altruism has a positive impact on our wellbeing.

When we help others, our brain releases endorphins, the body’s natural painkiller, which leads to a phenomenon known as the “helper’s high“.

However, this effect is lessened when the act is done for external rewards like praise or recognition.

Happy people find joy in the act itself and the positive impact it has on others, rather than seeking validation from sharing their benevolence with strangers or acquaintances.

4) Other people’s secrets

Happy people have a knack for making others feel safe and heard. When someone confides in them, they honor that trust by keeping the information to themselves.

They understand the weight of a secret and the potential harm that can be done by breaking that confidentiality.

Strangers or casual acquaintances often find comfort in sharing with these individuals because they exude an aura of trustworthiness.

However, you’ll rarely hear these happy individuals repeating or discussing the secrets they’ve been entrusted with.

They know how it feels to be vulnerable and the courage it takes to share something personal.

They respect this vulnerability and reciprocate by being tight-lipped about these shared confidences, even when conversing with people who don’t know the original secret-sharer.

5) Their past mistakes

Happy people, like everyone else, have made mistakes in their past. However, they don’t feel compelled to share these blunders with strangers.

They recognize that everyone has had their share of missteps and that it’s a part of being human. They also understand that these past errors do not define who they are today.

They’ve learned from them, grown, and moved on. Instead of dwelling on these mistakes or sharing them with everyone they meet, they choose to focus on the present and the future.

While they might share their lessons learned with close friends or family, they generally avoid bringing up these past mistakes in casual conversations.

This approach helps them maintain a positive outlook and focus on the progress they’ve made rather than the missteps they’ve taken along the way.

6) Financial details

Happy people generally avoid discussing their financial status or specifics with strangers.

They understand that money can be a sensitive topic that can lead to unnecessary comparisons and judgements.

For instance, a friend of mine who’s always been the cheerful type, once shared with me how she navigates this.

When asked about her financial situation, she tends to give a general response such as, “I’m managing, thank you.” She never goes into the details about her savings, debts, or income.

She believes that by doing so, she avoids creating any potential discomfort or envy in others who might be in a different financial situation.

It also prevents her from falling into the trap of comparing herself with others based on financial status, allowing her to maintain her happiness and peace of mind.

7) Their self-care routines

Happy people know the importance of taking care of themselves.

They have their self-care routines that they stick to, whether it’s a daily workout, a weekly spa day, or simply taking time out each day to read a book.

However, they don’t feel the need to broadcast these routines to strangers.

They understand that everyone has different needs and what works for them might not work for everyone else.

Moreover, they don’t want to create an illusion that happiness is a one-size-fits-all solution. It’s not about following someone else’s routine, but about finding what works for you and sticking with it.

So they keep their self-care routines to themselves, silently setting boundaries and prioritizing their needs.

By doing this, they maintain their happiness and encourage others to find their own path to joy.

8) Their life’s purpose

Happy people have a sense of purpose in life that guides their actions and decisions. This deeper sense of meaning and direction is often a significant contributor to their happiness.

However, they usually keep these profound insights close to their chest when interacting with strangers.

While they might share their goals or ambitions to an extent, they often don’t delve into the depth of their purpose in casual conversations.

They understand that it’s a deeply personal thing, shaped by unique experiences and beliefs.

Besides, their purpose is not something to be validated or judged by others.

It’s a guiding light that they alone must follow. By keeping it somewhat private, they ensure it remains unaltered by external influences.

This isn’t about secrecy, but about preserving the sanctity of their life’s purpose.

Conclusion

The key to happiness for many people lies in knowing what to keep private and when to share.

By withholding sensitive topics, such as their past mistakes or personal struggles, happy individuals maintain emotional balance and avoid unnecessary stress.

Their ability to prioritize self-care, respect boundaries, and focus on meaningful relationships helps them lead fulfilling lives without the need for validation or approval from others.

This approach allows them to preserve their joy, foster deeper connections, and live authentically.