Emotional intelligence (EQ) is about far more than just being a “nice person” or getting along with others. 

It’s also crucial for career success and achieving your goals in daily life. 

For high-EQ people, work is a place where new connections are made and old bonds are strengthened. Improvement, results and collaboration are sought through teamwork and healthy responses to conflict and disagreement. 

For this reason, the high-EQ person strongly avoids low-EQ statements and phrases that can sabotage career success. 

Here are the top things to avoid saying at work: 

1) “Not my problem.” 

This is not something a high-EQ person says at work. 

It’s confrontational and it’s also an attempt to offload any responsibility for whatever challenge or issue is going on. 

Even if it really isn’t their fault, the high-EQ individual is more likely to see what advice or action they can take to help rather than just negating the issue.

It may not be their problem, but they still want to contribute. 

2) “Don’t care.”

This is not something that an emotionally intelligent person says at work. 

That’s because it makes whoever said it feel low value and creates a hostile atmosphere at work. 

It’s also because it encourages a non-entrepreneurial and anti-knowledge attitude that can harm work performance and learning. 

“Modern life is undergoing near-constant change, and the types of skills needed for entrepreneurship are the same skills that are most useful in adapting to, and coping with, rapid change and uncertainty,” explains consultant and psychology writer Tchiki Davis, PhD.

3) “Like I already said…”

This is quite a passive-aggressive phrase. 

High-EQ individuals avoid being pedantic or tooting their own horn. They have no desire to be proven right and their ego isn’t attached to the need for validation. 

If somebody didn’t understand them or hear what they said they do their best to politely repeat it. 

This leads to the next no-no… 

4) “You’re wrong.”

Clearly there are many situations at work where a coworker’s views or statements are incorrect. 

But the high-EQ person does their best not to speak abrasively or overly confrontationally. 

While being clear that they believe something different or have a source with contradictory info, the high-EQ individual avoids causing personal conflicts. 

Even if somebody is wrong, they do their best not to turn it into an argument or clash with that person. 

On a related note… 

5) “That’s a dumb idea.” 

Let’s face it:

Everybody who works with people will occasionally hear an idea they find silly or illogical. 

But if they’re high-EQ they don’t use the phrase above:

Not only is it demeaning, it also undermines a broaden and build framework which will lead to greater teamwork, camaraderie and learning instead of a hostile, judgmental atmosphere. 

Davis puts it well: 

“The broaden and build theory of positive emotion suggests that positive emotions build on themselves, eventually leading to things like professional and relationship success.”

6) “I can’t stand working with…” 

There can be people who are very hard to work with, especially in a crowded office or on a busy job site. 

But high-EQ people don’t mention and single out people they dislike. 

If they have a problem with somebody they do their best to talk to them one-on-one. 

They also try to engage in introspection and see if there is something triggering to them about that person that could point to internal progress they need to make. 

They know that too many workplace issues and conflicts are often the sign of deeper underlying mental health issues. 

“Repetitive problems at varied jobs are a red flag that there are fundamental issues that need to be explored,” note psychiatrists Samuel L. Pauker, MD, and Miriam Arond.

7) “Did you hear about the issues with…?”

Workplace gossip is not something that high-EQ folks bother with. 

Not only is it a waste of their energy, they also know that it can be very hurtful to the people involved. 

It also has a tendency to circle back around like a verbal boomerang:

Gossip about one coworker this week can quickly turn into rumors and slander about the person who was spreading the rumors the week before. 

8) “It wasn’t my fault…”

High-EQ people don’t focus on who’s to blame. 

Even when they’re not to blame, they avoid statements like the one above. 

That’s because their focus is on thriving at work, not on shifting blame or offering justifications and defenses of something that went wrong. 

As psychology writer and Professor Craig Wallace PhD. notes: 

“Research tells us that when we thrive at work, we’re talking about upping our game, being the idea machine, lending a hand, feeling awesome, and just overall crushing it.”

9) “This job is the worst.” 

Complaining about work is something many people engage in and it can even become a bit of a job site or office tradition. 

But the high-EQ individual tries to minimize how much they do this. And they certainly avoid making it a core part of who they are at work. 

The reason is that it can rapidly become part of their identity and the collective identity, poisoning the well and becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

“If you’ve developed an “I hate my job” identity, the identity matching principle tells us that your brain thinks you want to focus on stimuli associated with that identity,” notes Professor Trevor Foulk, PhD.

10) “I’m so bored.” 

Boredom is a problem at some jobs, but it’s not something that a high-EQ person talks about. 

They know that doing so will bring down team morale as a whole. 

But they also know that it will create an identity in them of a person who is bored at work. 

Better to focus on an interesting aspect of their job or find a way to entertain themselves, rather than complain about how uninteresting the tasks are that they are asked to do. 

11) “This job isn’t part of my long-term goals.”

This may be a true statement, but it’s not the kind of thing a high-EQ person gets into at work. 

First and foremost they know that it will sow an atmosphere of negativity around the workplace:

They are indicating that it isn’t what they really want to be doing. Secondly, they want to learn all they can even if this job isn’t their intended career. So why complain? 

“Learn it all,” advises Wallace.

“Don’t be afraid to try new things and fail—that’s when you stand to learn the most.”

12) “I deserve way more money for this job.”

Salary expectations and demands are not something to say at work, unless it’s in the context of a meeting with management or a word that’s being had with whoever manages pay.

The high-EQ person doesn’t talk about being underpaid at work. 

If they really are underpaid they look for another job or bring it up and try to get a raise with their boss. They don’t spread this kind of thing around the workplace, however. 

13) “Screw this. I give up.”

The high-EQ individual knows that giving up is sometimes necessary. But they don’t express the kind of frustration and defeatism above. 

If possible, they persist and do their best to power through. 

When that’s not possible they do their best to learn from whatever went wrong and get stronger from it. 

As psychology writer Michelle Redmon notes:

“Get cozy with the idea that you’re probably going to hit a wall now and then (or have the wall thrown at you), but when all is said and done you’ll be a more resilient person.”