When it comes to arguments, there’s a stark difference between those who handle them with emotional intelligence and those who don’t.

Emotionally intelligent men understand that it’s not about winning or losing, but about understanding and resolving. They know certain behaviors can escalate a situation rather than defusing it.

As someone who’s been through many arguments, I’ve seen and learned a lot. And I’m here to share with you 9 things that emotionally intelligent men never do during an argument.

Let’s dive into it, shall we?

1) They don’t raise their voice

In the heat of an argument, it’s not uncommon for voices to rise. But emotionally intelligent men understand that escalating the tone doesn’t resolve the issue.

It can heighten emotions and lead to further misunderstanding.

These men know the importance of maintaining a calm demeanor, even when tensions are high.

They realize that keeping their voice steady and composed can help keep the conversation focused on resolution rather than turning into a shouting match.

It’s not overpowering the other person with volume, but fostering understanding through calm and clear communication. Raising your voice might give a momentary sense of power, but it’s rarely beneficial in the long run.

2) They never resort to personal attacks

Growing up, I had a tendency to let my emotions get the best of me during arguments. I’d react impulsively, and often, my words would take a personal turn. I quickly learned that this approach was counterproductive.

Emotionally intelligent men, like my older brother, taught me a better way. During one heated argument about a trivial matter, I crossed the line and aimed a personal insult at him.

Instead of reacting defensively or lashing back, he calmly said, “Let’s focus on the issue at hand. Personal attacks won’t help us resolve this.”

His response was a wake-up call. It made me realize how my words were diverting us from the actual concern and creating unnecessary hostility.

Emotionally intelligent men understand that personal attacks only serve to intensify the argument and further distance each party from a resolution. They keep the argument focused on the issue at hand and not on the person they’re arguing with.

It’s a lesson I’ve carried with me ever since, and it’s drastically improved how I handle disagreements.

3) They don’t ignore the other person’s perspective

Did you know that empathy is a key component of emotional intelligence? And this extends beyond just understanding someone’s feelings. It involves appreciating their perspective, even if it differs from your own.

Emotionally intelligent men don’t dismiss the other person’s viewpoint during an argument. They take the time to listen and understand where they’re coming from.

This doesn’t mean they always agree with the other person. But by acknowledging their perspective, they foster an environment of respect and open communication.

Ignoring the other person’s viewpoint is like trying to solve a puzzle with half the pieces missing. You won’t get very far. So next time you find yourself in a disagreement, remember to listen as much as you speak.

4) They don’t hold grudges

Holding onto past disagreements or resentment can turn a small argument into a full-blown feud. Emotionally intelligent men understand the importance of forgiveness and letting go.

When an argument is over, they leave it in the past. They don’t bring up old issues or use them as ammunition in future discussions.

This not only helps to keep the peace but also allows for healthier, more productive conversations in the future.

It’s natural to feel upset or hurt after an argument, but clinging to these feelings doesn’t benefit anyone. Learning to let go and move on is a key step towards maintaining positive relationships and open communication. So, when the dust settles, choose forgiveness over resentment.

5) They don’t avoid responsibility

Emotionally intelligent men know that it’s not always about who’s right or wrong. It’s about understanding, learning, and growing from the situation.

If they’re at fault, they own up to it. They don’t try to deflect blame or make excuses for their actions. Instead, they acknowledge their mistake and take steps to rectify it.

Taking responsibility is a sign of maturity and emotional intelligence. It shows the other person that you value the relationship more than your ego.

And this can go a long way in resolving conflicts and preventing future arguments.

6) They don’t shut down communication

Sometimes, emotions can become overwhelming during an argument. It may feel easier to walk away or shut down, cutting off the dialogue completely.

But emotionally intelligent men understand the importance of keeping the lines of communication open.

In relationships, whether personal or professional, communication is the heartbeat. It’s through communication that we express our thoughts, feelings, and concerns.

It’s how we show understanding, empathy, and respect for one another.

Shutting down communication during an argument can be akin to putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. It may provide temporary relief, but it doesn’t address the underlying issue.

Emotionally intelligent men strive to keep communication flowing, even when it’s tough. They understand that it’s through these difficult conversations that true understanding and resolution can be achieved.

7) They don’t jump to conclusions

Years ago, during a disagreement with a close friend, I made an assumption about their intentions. This assumption was based purely on my perception and not on any concrete evidence.

It led to a misunderstanding that could have been avoided had I not jumped to conclusions.

Emotionally intelligent men realize the importance of avoiding assumptions during an argument.

They understand that jumping to conclusions can cloud judgment and fuel misunderstanding.

They seek clarity. They ask questions, invite explanation, and strive to understand the other person’s perspective. By doing this, they not only avoid unnecessary conflict but also promote open and honest communication.

8) They don’t interrupt

One of the most common mistakes during an argument is interruption. But emotionally intelligent men know the importance of listening.

Interrupting someone while they’re speaking can be perceived as disrespectful. It sends a message that what you have to say is more important than what they’re already saying.

On the other hand, listening shows respect and understanding. It communicates that you value their thoughts and feelings.

Emotionally intelligent men practice active listening during arguments. They give the other person space to express their thoughts without interruption, and they pay attention to what’s being said.

This helps them understand the other person’s perspective better and contributes to a more balanced and productive discussion.

9) They don’t forget the value of the relationship

When emotions run high during an argument, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. But emotionally intelligent men always keep the value of their relationship in mind.

They understand that the relationship is far more important than any single argument. They know that disagreements are temporary, but a damaged relationship can have lasting impact.

This perspective helps them maintain respect, show empathy, and strive for resolution rather than victory. It serves as a reminder of why it’s worth navigating disagreements with patience and understanding.

An argument is just a moment in time. The relationship, however, continues long after the argument ends. Always keep its value at the heart of your discussions.

Final thoughts: It’s about emotional maturity

Emotional intelligence isn’t something you’re born with, it’s a learned skill. It’s the result of personal growth, self-awareness, and maturity.

At the heart of every argument is an opportunity for growth, a chance to understand another perspective, and a moment to practice empathy.

Emotionally intelligent men seize these opportunities. They navigate disagreements with respect, patience, and understanding, always valuing the relationship above the argument itself.

Understanding these principles won’t just help you handle arguments better; it can transform how you engage with others in every aspect of life.

So next time you find yourself in a disagreement, take a step back, breathe, and remember that it’s not about winning or losing. It’s about understanding, respect, and growth.