I’ve heard it said, “A leopard can’t change its spots.”

That saying goes double for narcissists, especially the “nice” ones.

You know the type – always charming, seemingly kind-hearted, but with a knack for turning situations to their advantage.

But what happens when they realize their usual tactics aren’t working on you?

Well, let me tell you.

They don’t just roll over and give up. Instead, they switch gears and deploy a whole new arsenal of strategies.

It’s a fascinating – if somewhat unsettling – shift to witness.

So if you’re curious about “What would a ‘nice’ narcissist do when they can’t manipulate me?” you’re in the right place.

Hang tight as we explore seven key maneuvers these individuals might resort to when their charm offensive hits a brick wall.

1) They play the victim

Ever noticed how a narcissist can turn any situation into a sob story?

It’s almost impressive.

The minute they detect their manipulative tactics aren’t working, they shift gears.

Suddenly, they’re the victim. They’ll weave a narrative so compelling, it could win an Oscar.

That argument you had? They were just trying to help.

The time they broke a promise? They were under so much stress.

By playing the victim, they’re essentially trying to guilt you into compliance. It’s a classic move in the narcissist’s playbook.

But remember, it’s just another form of manipulation. Stay strong and hold your ground.

2) They resort to gaslighting

Ah, gaslighting, a narcissist’s favorite tool.

This happened to me once with a “friend” of mine. We’d been close for years, or so I thought.

But every time we had a disagreement, he’d twist the situation, making me believe I was the one who was wrong.

One day, I finally caught on to his tricks. I confronted him about a situation where he had clearly let me down.

Instead of accepting responsibility, he began to rewrite history. He insisted that I was misremembering things and that it was actually my fault.

That’s gaslighting in action: manipulating someone into questioning their own sanity or memory.

It’s a sinister tactic, and when they can’t manipulate you directly, they might resort to this.

Be aware of it, trust your memory, and stand firm against such attempts.

3) They unleash a charm offensive

Don’t be surprised if the “nice” narcissist suddenly becomes even nicer.

I mean, they’ll lay it on thick.

Suddenly, they’re incredibly attentive, showering you with compliments and doing everything they can to make you feel special.

It can almost feel like you’re being wooed.

This is their charm offensive, designed to win you back and regain the upper hand.

But remember, it’s all an act. A ruse to draw you back into their web.

In my experience, when the charm offensive begins, it’s a clear sign they’ve realized their usual tactics aren’t working.

Be aware of this shift. Don’t let their charm cloud your judgement.

4) They give the silent treatment

Now, this one might catch you off guard.

Instead of trying to win you over with charm or playing the victim, they might go completely silent.

It’s a manipulative move designed to make you feel guilty, anxious, or just plain confused.

You may find yourself wondering what you did wrong and might even feel compelled to reach out and make amends.

In reality, it’s just another tactic in their manipulation toolbox.

They’re hoping that by giving you the silent treatment, they can regain control.

Don’t fall for it. Instead, use this time to fortify your boundaries and remind yourself of the reasons why you started resisting their manipulation in the first place.

5) They become overly generous

Suddenly, the “nice” narcissist starts showering you with gifts or favors. It’s like Christmas has come early!

Now, here’s something to chew on: according to psychology, narcissists may give “gifts” that actually come from a place of self-investment—not from the desire to please others. 

In other words, it’s a way to assert power and control.

Interesting, right?

So, when a narcissist starts being overly generous, it’s not because they’ve suddenly become philanthropic.

It’s a strategic move. They’re trying to create a sense of obligation, hoping that you’ll feel compelled to reciprocate in some way.

Remember this when you find yourself on the receiving end of their unexpected generosity.

It’s not a gift, it’s a manipulation tactic. And you’re under no obligation to repay them.

6) They start apologizing…profusely

When they realize their usual tactics aren’t working, they might start apologizing.

And not just a simple “I’m sorry”, but a full-blown, tear-filled apology.

Now, everyone makes mistakes and deserves a chance to make amends. But with narcissists, it’s different.

Their apologies often lack sincerity and are merely a means to an end.

It’s okay to acknowledge their apology. But it’s also okay to protect your boundaries and maintain your stance.

It doesn’t make you unkind or unforgiving.

Just remember, you are not obligated to accept an apology that doesn’t feel genuine. Your feelings and experiences matter too.

7) They try to recruit allies

When a narcissist realizes they can’t manipulate you directly, they might try to turn others against you.

They’ll play the victim, painting you as the villain in their twisted narrative.

They may even spread lies or half-truths to earn sympathy and support.

This is a desperate attempt to regain control and maintain their facade.

But don’t worry, the truth always has a way of surfacing.

Hold your ground and don’t let their games shake your resolve.

Final thoughts

If you’re nodding along to these points, know that you’re not alone.

Many of us have encountered a “nice” narcissist at some point in our lives.

But here’s the silver lining – awareness is the first step towards change.

Once you recognize these tactics, you can begin to fortify your defenses.

You can assert your boundaries and maintain your stance.

It might be challenging, but remember, you’re stronger than their manipulations.

When you find yourself in the crosshairs of a “nice” narcissist, remember these points.

Stand firm in your truth and don’t let their tactics shake your resolve.

Let this knowledge empower you.

Let it remind you that you have the right to maintain your boundaries and protect your mental well-being.

And lastly, remember this: dealing with a narcissist might be a part of your journey, but it doesn’t define you.

You are more than their perception of you or their attempts to control you.

So take a deep breath, hold your head high, and walk forward with the confidence that comes from understanding.

And know that in doing so, you’re taking a powerful step towards reclaiming your power and peace.