7 things a narcissist will do when their pride is secretly bruised, according to a psychologist

Ever had that awkward moment where someone’s pride takes a hit, and suddenly the whole vibe changes?
If that someone happens to be a narcissist, you’ve probably noticed how things get even trickier. One minute they’re charming; the next, you’re wondering what just happened.
When a narcissist’s ego gets bruised, their reactions can feel like a rollercoaster—lashing out, retreating, or twisting the narrative to come out on top.
It’s confusing, frustrating, and can leave you questioning your own instincts.
Here’s the thing: narcissism isn’t just a personality quirk. In some cases, it’s part of a diagnosable condition called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
But not every narcissist has NPD, and not everyone with NPD acts the same way, which makes navigating these relationships even harder.
Still, understanding what’s happening behind the scenes can help.
Let’s unpack what experts say about how narcissists handle the sting of a bruised ego and what you can do to make sense of their behavior.
1) They might become overly defensive
One of the first things they might do is become excessively defensive. They might start to belittle your achievements or question your motives.
It’s their way of trying to regain control and re-establish their superiority.
For example, if you outshine them in some way, they might start belittling your accomplishment or try to take credit for it.
They may say something like, “Well, you wouldn’t have been able to do that without my help.”
This defensiveness is a shield they use to hide their bruised ego. It’s a manipulation tactic designed to make you question your worth and abilities while boosting their own self-esteem.
Understanding this pattern can help you navigate these situations more effectively.
Instead of getting drawn into their defensiveness, try to maintain your own self-confidence and avoid getting entangled in their need for dominance.
2) They may shower you with compliments
It’s easy to think that a narcissist would only react negatively when their pride is bruised, but the truth is, they can also go in the completely opposite direction.
Rather than lashing out, they might suddenly become very complimentary and affectionate towards you.
This can be disconcerting because it’s not what you’d expect. You might find yourself being praised for your intelligence, your looks, or your skills.
But here’s the catch: it’s not really about you. It’s about them trying to regain control.
By showering you with compliments, they’re attempting to reposition themselves as the generous, kind-hearted individual who has the power to bestow these compliments.
It’s a subtle form of manipulation that can often be overlooked because it feels good to be praised. But remember: with a narcissist, it’s often about power dynamics.
3) They might engage in gaslighting
They may resort to a form of psychological manipulation known as gaslighting. This involves distorting reality to make you question your perceptions and memories.
For instance, if you’ve had a disagreement where they felt their pride was hurt, they might later deny that the argument ever happened or insist that you were the one who started it.
They might say things like, “You’re too sensitive,” or “You’re misremembering things.”
Gaslighting can be incredibly disorientating and damaging, as it can lead to you doubting your own mind.
This is a common behavior in narcissists, as it allows them to maintain control and dominance in the relationship.
If you feel like you’re being gaslighted, it’s crucial to trust your own instincts and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional.
4) They may actually feel remorse
Even though narcissists have a reputation for lacking empathy, this doesn’t mean they’re incapable of feeling remorse or regret.
However, there’s still a catch — it’s still self-serving.
According to Psych Central, “For a narcissist to demonstrate regret, the benefit must outweigh the cost. Basically, the show of remorse is part of a calculated formula where the expense of admitting to a mistake is small in comparison to the potential positive return.”
For instance, if acknowledging a mistake helps them maintain a relationship or protect their reputation, they might appear apologetic—but their focus is still on what benefits them.
This calculated approach to regret can be confusing to those around them. It might seem like a genuine apology, but the underlying motivation is often strategic rather than heartfelt.
This is why interactions with narcissists can feel hollow or manipulative.
5) They might try to regain control by shifting focus
Ever noticed how some people, when faced with a challenge or criticism, immediately change the subject or bring up an unrelated issue?
It’s like when you’re telling a friend about a difficult day at work, and they suddenly start talking about their own problems without acknowledging yours.
That’s because, for a narcissist, the conversation needs to always revolve around them.
By shifting the focus back on themselves or on to something else entirely, they’re trying to regain control of the conversation and divert attention away from their bruised ego.
We’ve all done this to some extent – it’s a human response to discomfort.
But in a narcissist, this can become a habitual pattern of avoiding accountability and maintaining control.
6) They may become the “perfect partner”
They might suddenly transform into the perfect partner, friend, or colleague.
They may start doing everything right, being incredibly helpful and attentive, and going out of their way to make you feel loved and cared for.
For instance, imagine you’re in a relationship with someone you suspect is a narcissist.
After a disagreement where their pride was hurt, they might suddenly start doing all the things you’ve been asking for – cooking dinner, cleaning up, planning romantic dates, or being more supportive of your career.
While this behavior may seem like a positive change, it’s often a temporary one.
It’s a way for them to regain control and manipulate your perception of them. They want to show that they are indispensable and perfect, so you won’t dare to bruise their pride again.
While it’s nice to be treated well, keep in mind that in a healthy relationship, kindness and respect should be consistent, not just a response to conflict.
7) They might resort to silent treatment
This silent treatment is not about needing space to process their feelings, but rather a calculated move to make you feel guilty and anxious.
Imagine texting them about an issue, and they completely ignore your messages. You’re left hanging, unsure of what’s going on.
It’s an uncomfortable and agonizing situation that can leave you second-guessing yourself.
As much as it hurts, don’t let this manipulation tactic get to you. Your feelings and concerns are valid.
Their unwillingness to communicate is not a reflection of your worth, but rather an indication of their inability to handle criticism or perceived slights.
Hold your ground, maintain your self-respect, and don’t let their silence manipulate you into feeling guilty or apologizing unnecessarily.
Keep your wellbeing as the priority
If you’re dealing with a narcissist whose pride is bruised, it’s essential to remember one thing: your wellbeing comes first.
While understanding their reactions can help you navigate the situation, it’s not your responsibility to soothe their ego or fix their insecurities.
When they resort to manipulation tactics, remember that it’s about their issues, not yours. You are not responsible for their emotional reactions.
Don’t let their actions dictate your self-worth or happiness. It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your own emotional health.
Seek support when you need it and remember, you have every right to protect yourself and your mental wellbeing.
Navigating relationships with a narcissist can be challenging, but always remember that you deserve respect and kindness at all times.
Here’s to maintaining strong boundaries, holding onto your self-worth, and living a life filled with respect and kindness. You deserve nothing less.