Narcissists have a knack for making others feel insignificant.

Their behavior is often subtle, but the impact is anything but.

The key to understanding their behavior? Recognizing patterns.

Narcissists have certain go-to strategies to keep you feeling small and doubting yourself.

In this article, we’ll outline 9 such strategies a narcissist will use to invalidate your feelings and make you feel insignificant.

By knowing these tactics, you can better protect yourself and maintain your self-worth.

Get ready to take notes because these insights will help you stand strong in the face of narcissistic manipulation!

1) They dismiss your emotions

One of the most common tactics narcissists use is emotional invalidation.

It’s an art they’ve seemingly mastered.

Your feelings, no matter how genuine or deep, are often brushed aside as inconsequential. Irrelevant.

Think about those times when you’ve been upset and a narcissist has simply waved away your feelings, saying you’re being “too sensitive” or “overreacting”.

They use this dismissive approach to sidestep your emotions, making you doubt their validity. The implication? Your feelings aren’t as important as theirs.

This is a powerful tactic that can leave you feeling small and unimportant. And that’s exactly the effect a narcissist aims for.

But recognizing this tactic is the first step towards countering it.

Remember, your emotions are valid, and they matter.

2) They shift the blame

Here’s a personal example that I experienced with a narcissistic friend.

Every time we faced a problem, it was never their fault.

Nope, the blame always conveniently found its way to me.

Once, we planned a trip together. They were responsible for booking the accommodation. But they forgot.

When we arrived and had nowhere to stay, guess who was blamed? Me, for not reminding them.

They twisted the situation, making it seem like it was my responsibility to ensure they did their part.

Suddenly, I found myself apologizing for their mistake.

This blame-shifting is a classic narcissistic tactic used to invalidate your feelings, making you feel guilty and small.

It’s a way for them to dodge responsibility and keep control. 

3) They gaslight you

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that narcissists often employ.

It’s derived from a 1944 movie, “Gaslight”, where a husband manipulates his wife to make her believe she’s losing her sanity.

In real life, narcissists use this tactic to make you question your own memory, perception, or judgment.

For instance, they may deny they ever said something or twist facts to suit their narrative.

It’s a mind game designed to make you doubt your own reality, making it easier for them to control you.

This not only invalidates your feelings but also makes you feel small and dependent on their version of reality.

Understanding this tactic is crucial in maintaining control over your own perceptions and staying grounded in your reality.

4) They belittle your achievements

Ever noticed how a narcissist has a knack for turning your victories into something trivial?

That’s no accident.

You could land your dream job or win an award, and a narcissist will find a way to downplay it.

They might say things like, “It’s not that big of a deal” or “Anyone could have done that.”

The aim? To make you feel less accomplished, less significant. To keep you in a place where they can maintain control.

Don’t let them. Your achievements are worth celebrating, no matter what anyone says.

Their attempts to belittle your success say more about them than they do about you.

5) They constantly compare you to others

Whether it’s comparing your looks, abilities, or achievements to someone else’s, narcissists seem to have an endless supply of comparisons up their sleeve.

And you always seem to fall short.

The message is clear: you’re not good enough.

But that’s far from the truth.

This is just another tactic they use to make you feel small and keep you in a position of self-doubt.

6) They show indifference to your feelings

There’s a special kind of hurt that comes when someone you care about shows complete indifference to your feelings.

Narcissists often display this cold indifference when you’re at your most vulnerable.

Instead of offering comfort or understanding, they remain detached, uninterested.

It’s a painful reminder that your feelings, your pain, doesn’t matter to them.

This can make you feel small, insignificant, and terribly alone.

But please remember, your feelings matter.

They’re real and they’re important.

Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.

It’s okay to feel and it’s okay to expect empathy from the people in your life.

7) They often interrupt or talk over you

A conversation should be a two-way street.

But with narcissists, it often feels like a one-way alley.

I remember trying to express my thoughts during a discussion with a narcissistic friend.

As soon as I started talking, they would cut me off, talk over me, or change the topic entirely.

It was as if my opinions or thoughts were unworthy of their time or attention.

This constant interruption made me feel unimportant and small.

In any healthy relationship, your voice should be heard and respected.

Your words and thoughts are valuable.

8) They use sarcasm as a weapon

Sarcasm can be funny, but not when it’s used as a tool to belittle or dismiss your feelings.

And that’s exactly how narcissists use it: to invalidate your emotions.

They hide behind the guise of humor to make hurtful comments, making you feel small and foolish for reacting.

9) They make you feel guilty for being happy

This might be the most heartbreaking thing a narcissist does. 

In their world, your happiness often feels like a threat to their dominance.

So they try to dampen it, make you feel guilty for being happy, especially when they’re not.

Remember, your joy is not something you should ever have to apologize for.

It’s your right to embrace the happiness and success that comes your way. Don’t let anyone rob you of that.

Remember: You are more than their perception

When you’re dealing with a narcissist, it’s easy to get lost in their manipulative tactics and lose sight of who you truly are.

But it’s vital to remember this: you are not the small, insignificant person they try to make you feel like.

You are not defined by their invalidation or disrespect.

Your feelings are valid. Your thoughts matter.

Your achievements are worth celebrating. And your happiness is yours to embrace.