Navigating the world of relationships can feel like walking through a minefield. Especially when you’re dealing with a narcissist who’s got love bombing down to an art form.

Love bombing is the process where a narcissist overwhelms you with affection and attention at the start of a relationship, often hiding their true intentions. It’s not about genuine affection but rather a calculated strategy to make you dependent on them.

I’m Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog, and I’ve seen this play out countless times. And I’m here to help you spot the signs early on.

So let’s dive into the 8 things a narcissist does to love bomb you at the start of a relationship. 

1) Overwhelming affection

First things first, a narcissist will seem to shower you with love and attention right from the get-go.

This isn’t your everyday “courting phase.” It’s an intense and relentless outpouring of affection that can feel flattering and exciting, but it’s actually a red flag in disguise.

This love bombing tactic is designed to make you feel special and desired, to make you think you’ve found the perfect partner who is head over heels about you.

But this isn’t about their love for you. It’s about control and manipulation. And it’s important to remember that this level of affection isn’t sustainable, nor is it rooted in genuine care or consideration for your feelings.

My advice? Take things slow. If someone is rushing the relationship or trying to make you feel indebted to them due to their ‘affection’, it might be time to take a step back and reassess the situation.

A genuine partner respects your pace and your boundaries.

2) Fast-paced relationship

Another significant sign of a narcissist’s love bombing is the speed at which the relationship progresses. It’s like being on the fastest roller coaster ride ever, except it’s your emotional life that’s spinning out of control.

I’ve seen couples who were barely past their first date before they were discussing moving in together, marriage, kids – the whole shebang.

It can be thrilling to think you’ve found your ‘soulmate’ so quickly but remember: True love is not a sprint, it’s a marathon.

So if your new partner is pushing you to make big commitments early on, it might be time to hit the brakes. It’s okay to take your time and let the relationship develop naturally.

3) They can do no wrong

In the early stages of a relationship with a narcissist, you might find that they seem perfect — too perfect, perhaps. They present themselves as the flawless partner that can do no wrong, always saying and doing the right things.

This is another love bombing tactic. By setting up this illusion of perfection, they make you more willing to overlook their faults when they eventually emerge.

I’ve seen this play out many times in my work as a relationship expert. It’s always painful to watch someone come to terms with the fact that the ‘perfect’ partner they fell for was just an illusion.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into these tactics and guide you on how to break free from such manipulative relationships.

Remember, no one is perfect. We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. A relationship built on an illusion of perfection is not healthy or sustainable.

If you want to learn more about this, you can check out my book on Amazon here.

4) They’re quick to share their past

Now, this one might seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t sharing about past experiences and vulnerabilities a sign of trust and intimacy? Well, not always.

A narcissist may use their past to manipulate your perception of them. They might tell you stories of their troubled past or previous relationships where they were the ‘victim’. The aim is to elicit sympathy and make you feel needed.

It’s a form of emotional manipulation, designed to make you want to ‘save’ them or fix their problems.

While it’s important to be empathetic and understanding in a relationship, it’s also crucial not to let someone else’s past dictate the course of your relationship.

5) Excessive gift-giving

I remember a client of mine, let’s call her Emily. She was in a relationship with a man who would shower her with expensive gifts all the time. At first, Emily thought it was romantic and generous of him. But soon, she began to feel uneasy.

The gifts became overwhelming and felt more like an obligation than a gesture of love. That’s when Emily realized that the gifts were part of his love bombing strategy.

A narcissist will often use lavish gifts to win your affection and make you feel special.

And while there’s nothing wrong with giving and receiving presents in a relationship, if it’s excessive and makes you feel uncomfortable, it could be a sign of something more manipulative.

6) They’re your everything

When you’re with a narcissist who’s love bombing you, they want to be your everything. Suddenly, they’re not just your partner, but also your best friend, your confidante, your advisor, and the list goes on.

This might seem sweet at first, but let’s be brutally honest here; it’s a strategy to isolate you. By positioning themselves as your ‘everything’, they’re subtly pushing away everyone else who matters to you.

A healthy relationship should allow room for other relationships too.

Your friends and family are still important. You should not have to choose between them and your partner.

So if you find yourself distancing from others because of your new love interest, take a step back and honestly evaluate why that’s happening. Your world shouldn’t revolve around just one person.

7) They mimic your dreams

Have you ever met someone who just seemed to have the same dreams and aspirations as you? It’s like they’ve climbed into your mind and echoed your deepest desires.

I remember meeting a woman who was stunned by how much her partner seemed to align with her future plans. It was as though he had been cut from the same cloth. But eventually, she realized it was all a mirage.

A narcissist will often mirror your goals and dreams as part of their love bombing strategy.

It creates a sense of compatibility and makes you believe that you are meant to be together.

8) They can’t stand to be without you

A narcissist who’s love bombing you can’t seem to stand a moment without you. It’s as though they’re addicted to your presence and need constant communication with you.

Let’s be honest here. It’s not about their affection for you. It’s about control and possession. They want to know your every move, every thought, every feeling.

It’s a tactic to make you feel valued but also to squeeze out your personal space and freedom.

A healthy relationship respects individuality and personal space. Your partner should respect your need for time alone or time with others, just as you should respect theirs.

So if your partner becomes upset or manipulative when you ask for space, consider it a red flag. A loving relationship is not a prison; it’s a partnership.

Final thoughts

Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can be tricky. But by recognizing these love bombing tactics, you can protect yourself from manipulation and make more informed decisions about your relationships.

Remember, your feelings matter. Your boundaries matter. You deserve a relationship that respects and values you for who you are—not one that seeks to control or manipulate you.

If you’re currently in a relationship where you feel overwhelmed or unsure, I urge you to read my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s filled with practical advice to help you navigate these tricky waters.

Take care of yourself. Stay informed. And never forget that real love should never feel manipulative.