8 things a manipulator will do when they realize they’ve lost the upper hand

Manipulation has been an unfortunate part of my journey, both in personal and professional spheres. I’ve experienced individuals who wield control as a weapon, using it to serve their interests at the expense of others.
But what happens when these manipulators lose their power?
In this article, I’m going to illuminate the actions a manipulator might take when they realize that they’ve lost their grip on the upper hand. By understanding these behaviors, we can better protect ourselves and foster healthier, more authentic relationships.
I’ll do this by detailing 8 key things that typically occur when a manipulator feels their dominance slipping away. Let’s pull back the curtain on manipulation and empower ourselves with knowledge.
1) They resort to gaslighting
Gaslighting is a common tactic used by manipulators to sow seeds of doubt and make you question your reality. It’s a subtle form of psychological abuse that can be incredibly damaging.
When a manipulator realizes they’re losing control, they may intensify their gaslighting efforts in a desperate bid to regain their former power. They might accuse you of misremembering events or outright lying, all in an attempt to make you second-guess yourself and your perceptions.
As Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, once said, “Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.” Trust in your own judgment and don’t allow a manipulator to shake your reality.
2) They attempt to regain control
Once a manipulator realizes they’ve lost their upper hand, they may deploy various tactics to regain control. This could involve a barrage of emotional manipulation, guilt trips, or even blackmail.
In such situations, it’s important to equip yourself with strategies to maintain your resilience and mental wellbeing. For those navigating such complex emotional landscapes, I highly recommend the free “Breakup to Breakthrough” masterclass with Annabel Acton.
Annabel, a close friend and collaborator of mine, offers practical tools within this masterclass that can help you process emotions healthily and resist manipulative tactics. One powerful exercise she guides you through is the “Crossroads of Heartbreak” visualization, which helps you explore different paths and choose the one leading to healing and possibility.
This masterclass aligns perfectly with our discussion, providing you with the skills needed to navigate post-manipulation challenges and transform your experience into a stepping stone for personal growth.
To start your journey towards healing and empowerment, check out the “Breakup to Breakthrough” masterclass here.
Stand strong against manipulation. Equip yourself with knowledge and insight. You have the power to overcome.
3) They’ll feign ignorance
It may seem counterintuitive, but manipulators will often pretend to be ignorant when they’re losing their grip on you. They’ll act as if they have no idea about the harm they’re causing or the manipulative tactics they’re using.
This is a cunning move intended to make you doubt your judgment. By acting oblivious, they’re hoping you’ll question whether you’re overreacting or misinterpreting their actions.
But you’re not responsible for educating them or convincing them of their manipulative behavior. It’s not your job to help them see the error of their ways. Your responsibility is to yourself and your own well-being.
Never let someone’s feigned ignorance make you question your truth. Hold fast to your convictions and protect your mental and emotional health. Your reality is not up for debate.
4) They may resort to flattery
In an unexpected twist, a manipulator who senses they have lost control might suddenly start showering you with compliments and praise. This sudden shift isn’t genuine admiration; it’s another tactic to regain control.
They hope that by making you feel special, you’ll let your guard down and they can reassert their influence.
While it’s natural to enjoy compliments, it’s vital to discern their sincerity. Authentic praise comes from a place of respect and understanding, not manipulation and control.
Stay vigilant and keep in mind that true appreciation is rooted in genuine respect, not hidden agendas. Your worth is not determined by the flattery of others, but by the authenticity of your actions and the integrity of your character.
5) They’ll become more aggressive
As manipulators see their control slipping away, they may resort to aggression. This could be in the form of verbal abuse, bullying, or even physical violence.
Increased aggression is a desperate attempt to regain control through intimidation and fear. It’s significant to safeguard yourself physically and emotionally during such times.
Every individual has the fundamental right to be treated with respect and dignity. Aggression is not acceptable. Prioritize your safety and well-being. You deserve respect and kindness.
6) They play the victim
Manipulators are masters of shifting blame. They’re adept at playing the victim, painting themselves as the ones being wronged when they don’t get their way.
I’ve witnessed this behavior in various settings. It’s a deflective tactic designed to shift focus and elicit sympathy, further clouding the reality of their manipulative behavior.
Don’t fall for this performance. Everyone is responsible for their own actions, and no amount of self-pity or blame-shifting can alter this fact.
Eleanor Roosevelt wisely remarked, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Maintain your self-respect and avoid letting a manipulator’s victim-playing cloud your judgment.
7) They may try to isolate you
In a final attempt to regain control, a manipulator may try to isolate you from friends, family, or support networks. By making you feel alone, they hope to reinstate their influence over you.
During these times, staying connected with your support networks is key. Reach out, share your experiences, seek advice. Remember, nobody can thrive alone. We all need supportive communities and authentic relationships.
Avoid allowing anyone to sever your connections or make you feel isolated. You have a community that cares for you, and struggles are never faced alone.
8) They make empty promises
When all else fails, a manipulator may resort to making empty promises. They might promise to change their behavior, to treat you better, or to give you something you want. But these are often just words with no intention of fulfillment.
True change comes from actions, not just words. Hold people accountable for their actions rather than being swayed by empty promises.
Maintain your resolve. Trust and respect must be earned through actions, not manipulated with false promises.
Understanding and empowerment
In this exploration of the tactics manipulators use when they lose the upper hand, we’ve uncovered some difficult but crucial truths. Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards empowerment and maintaining control over our own lives.
We’ve learned that manipulators can resort to gaslighting, feigned indifference, flattery, isolation tactics, and even making empty promises. Understanding these tactics equips us to stand firm in our truth and not be swayed by their manipulative attempts.
This journey underscores the importance of self-awareness and personal growth, key components in confronting manipulative behavior and cultivating healthier relationships.
For those ready to deepen their personal growth particularly in navigating complex emotional landscapes, I strongly recommend the free “Breakup to Breakthrough” masterclass with Annabel Acton.
Annabel’s masterclass offers practical tools and empowering insights for transforming pain into a journey of profound personal growth. The exercises within, like the “Crossroads of Heartbreak” visualization, provide meaningful insights that help you choose the path leading to healing and possibility.
By watching this masterclass, you’ll gain the skills needed to navigate post-manipulation challenges, transforming these experiences into stepping stones for personal growth. This transformative experience aligns perfectly with our discussion today.
Check out Annabel Acton’s free “Breakup to Breakthrough” masterclass here. It’s a powerful resource that will equip you to confidently move forward from manipulation towards a life marked by resilience, authenticity, and empowerment.