The science of trust: How trust builds and why it matters

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | August 11, 2024, 5:56 pm

Trust is a powerful word, yet it’s often misunderstood. It’s the glue that holds relationships together, whether they’re personal or professional.

The science of trust is complex and fascinating. It delves into why we choose to trust, how that trust is established, and most importantly, why it matters.

In this article, we’ll explore the intricacies of trust. We’ll uncover the secrets behind its formation and its impact on our lives.

Welcome to “The science of trust: How trust builds and why it matters”. Let’s start our journey into the heart of human connection.

1) The foundation of trust

Trust doesn’t just happen. It’s built. And it begins with the simple act of being reliable.

Reliability is the cornerstone of trust. It’s about consistency and predictability.

Imagine you have a friend who is always late. You might start to question whether they’ll show up at all next time. That’s a breach of trust, however small it might seem.

Now consider a colleague who always delivers on their promises. You’re much more likely to trust them because they’ve proven their reliability.

But building trust goes beyond just being reliable. It’s about creating a sense of safety and security, allowing others to predict your actions and respond accordingly.

In the world of science, this is known as ‘reliable predictability’. It’s a fundamental part of how trust develops and why it matters.

But remember, building trust is a slow process, while breaking it can happen in an instant. So tread carefully and always strive to be dependable.

2) Personal experience with trust

Let me share a personal story to better illustrate this idea of trust.

A few years back, I was working on a project with a colleague. We had a tight deadline and a lot of work ahead of us. My colleague, let’s call him Mark, was someone I hadn’t worked with before.

Mark was enthusiastic and full of ideas. However, as the days passed, I noticed that his promises didn’t match his actions. He’d say he’d complete a task by a certain time, but often missed the deadline or didn’t deliver at all.

This inconsistency started to affect our project. I found myself double-checking his work and constantly worrying about whether he would fulfill his promises. It was exhausting and frustrating.

The trust I initially had for Mark was eroding rapidly due to his lack of reliability. And this experience taught me a crucial lesson about the importance of consistency and dependability in building trust.

In short, actions speak louder than words. Trust isn’t just about making promises, but about following through on them consistently. It’s this consistency that sets the foundation for trust and shapes our relationships, whether personal or professional.

3) The brain and trust

Isn’t it fascinating how our brains play a critical role in trust? When we trust someone, a hormone called oxytocin is released in our brain. This hormone is often referred to as the ‘bonding hormone’ or ‘love hormone’ because it fosters feelings of connection and intimacy.

Oxytocin is known to enhance feelings of empathy, generosity, and trust. It’s the same hormone that’s released during childbirth and breastfeeding, helping to create the strong bond between mother and child.

This biochemical aspect of trust highlights its importance in our lives. It’s not just about personal interactions or relationships. Trust has a profound impact on our brain chemistry, influencing our behaviors and actions in significant ways.

So the next time you find yourself trusting someone, remember there’s a whole lot of science happening behind the scenes. Trust isn’t just a feeling; it’s a powerful biological process.

4) The ripple effect of trust

Trust isn’t confined to individual relationships. It spills over into our communities and society at large, creating a ripple effect that can either build or erode social cohesion.

When trust is high in a community, it fosters a sense of safety and belonging. People are more likely to engage in cooperative behaviors, support community initiatives, and invest in shared resources.

On the flip side, when trust is low, people are more likely to be suspicious and defensive. They may be less willing to cooperate with others or contribute to shared projects. This can lead to a breakdown in social harmony and resilience.

Understanding this ripple effect of trust helps us see its true value. Trust isn’t just beneficial for our personal relationships – it’s essential for the health and wellbeing of our communities and society as a whole.

5) Building trust virtually

In today’s digital age, building trust in the virtual space is becoming increasingly important. Remote work, online transactions, and virtual relationships are all part of our modern lives.

Building trust online can be a bit trickier due to the absence of physical cues. However, the same principles of reliability and consistency apply.

Clear, timely communication is key. It’s important to respond promptly to emails or messages and to follow through on promises. Being transparent about your intentions and actions can also help build trust.

Remember, trust is just as crucial in virtual interactions as it is in face-to-face ones. Whether you’re interacting with colleagues on a video call, shopping online, or connecting with friends on social media, building and maintaining trust should always be a priority.

6) Trust and vulnerability

At its core, trust is about allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. It’s about opening up, letting our guard down, and believing that the other person will not take advantage of our openness.

This vulnerability can be scary. It involves risk – the risk of being hurt, betrayed, or let down. But without this vulnerability, trust can’t truly exist.

When we trust someone, we’re essentially saying, “I believe in your goodness. I believe you will respect my openness and not use it against me.”

And when that trust is reciprocated, it creates a bond that is both powerful and precious. It forms the basis of deep, meaningful relationships – relationships that enrich our lives and give us a sense of belonging and acceptance.

In essence, trust is one of the most heartfelt gifts we can give and receive. It’s a testament to our capacity for connection, empathy, and love.

7) Trust and authenticity

Early in my career, I worked for a company where the culture was all about competition. Everyone was always trying to outdo each other, and as a result, trust was scarce.

I remember feeling like I constantly had to watch my back and couldn’t show any signs of weakness. It was exhausting and frankly, quite lonely.

Things changed when I moved to a different company with a culture that valued authenticity and collaboration over competition. People were encouraged to be themselves and support each other.

The difference was night and day. I felt safe to express my thoughts and ideas, knowing that they would be respected, not used against me.

I quickly learned that trust thrives in an environment where authenticity is celebrated. When we feel safe to be our true selves, trust naturally follows.

Authenticity, then, is not just about being true to ourselves. It’s also about fostering a culture of trust where everyone feels valued and heard.

8) Trust and communication

Good communication is fundamental to building trust. It’s about being open, honest, and transparent in our interactions.

Consider this: when information is withheld or not communicated clearly, it can lead to misunderstandings and assumptions. This uncertainty can quickly erode trust.

On the other hand, when we communicate clearly and honestly, it creates a sense of predictability and reliability. It sends the message that we’re not hiding anything and that we respect the other person enough to keep them informed.

So whether it’s a simple update or a difficult conversation, strive to communicate effectively. Your efforts will go a long way in fostering trust and strengthening your relationships.

9) Trust, a lifelong journey

The most important thing to remember is that trust is not a one-time event. It’s a lifelong journey that requires continuous effort.

It’s about consistently showing up, being reliable, communicating effectively, and being authentic. It’s about proving over and over again that you are deserving of someone’s trust.

Building trust takes time, but the benefits are worth the effort. It enhances our relationships, strengthens our communities, and enriches our lives in countless ways.

So keep nurturing trust in your interactions. Because trust, once earned, can be one of the most powerful connections between two individuals.

Final reflection: The power of trust

Delving into the science of trust, we’ve discovered its profound impact on human relationships and society at large. But more than that, we’ve uncovered the truth about trust: It’s not just a concept, it’s a lived experience.

Trust is woven into the fabric of our lives, influencing our interactions, shaping our perceptions, and defining our relationships. It’s a potent force that can foster connection, encourage collaboration, and build communities.

The psychologist Erik Erikson once said, “Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive… If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.”

In these words, we find an echo of our journey into the science of trust. Trust may be complex and multifaceted, but its essence is simple: It’s about hope – hope in the goodness of others, hope in the strength of our connections, and hope in our capacity to rebuild when trust is broken.

As you navigate your own journey with trust, remember its power. Remember the role it plays in your life and in the lives of those around you. And most importantly, remember that building and nurturing trust is a lifelong endeavor – one that is as rewarding as it is challenging.

In the end, trust isn’t just a part of life; it’s what makes life worth living.