Mastering the art of small talk isn’t simply about filling silence. It’s about making connections, building rapport, and encouraging others to open up.

The trick isn’t in talking more, but rather, saying the right things. The best conversationalists know how to use specific phrases to steer the conversation and engage others.

I’ve got 9 phrases for you that great conversationalists always use. They’re simple, effective, and can transform your small talk into meaningful exchanges.

Let’s get started. 

1) “Tell me more about that…”

The magic of small talk isn’t in the talking, it’s in the listening.

Great conversationalists know that the goal isn’t to dominate the conversation, but to get the other person to open up. And one of the best ways to do this is by showing genuine interest in what they have to say.

“Tell me more about that…” is a fantastic phrase to have in your small talk toolkit. It’s an open-ended invitation for the other person to dive deeper into a topic they’re passionate about.

It shows you’re engaged, interested, and ready to listen. Plus, it takes the pressure off of you to come up with something clever to say – you’re letting them steer the conversation.

People love talking about themselves and their interests. By using this phrase, you’re giving them the green light to do just that.

Just make sure your interest is genuine. Nobody likes feeling like they’re being interrogated or just filling silence.

2) “That reminds me of the time when…”

Connecting over shared experiences is one of the fastest ways to build rapport in a conversation.

The phrase “That reminds me of the time when…” is a bridge that creates a sense of commonality. It allows you to share your experiences while also demonstrating that you’re actively listening and engaged in the conversation.

For example, I was at a networking event last year and ended up in a chat with someone who just returned from a trip to Japan. When they described their visit to a traditional tea ceremony, I jumped in with, “That reminds me of the time when I was in Japan and experienced the same thing. Wasn’t it fascinating how meticulous and calming it was?”

This simple phrase not only showed that I was listening and interested in their story, but it also opened up a new avenue for us to bond over our shared experience.

3) “Did you know…”

Introducing new and intriguing information into a conversation can be a game changer. The phrase “Did you know…” is an excellent way to inject a spark of interest into your small talk.

Let’s say you’re at a social event discussing hobbies with someone who mentions they love birdwatching. You could respond with, “Did you know that there are over 10,000 species of birds worldwide? I recently read about it in a nature magazine.”

This phrase not only shows that you’re engaged in the conversation, but also that you’re someone who is well-read and knowledgeable. It adds an element of surprise and curiosity to the chat, making you more memorable to the other person.

4) “I appreciate your perspective on…”

Graceful disagreements are an essential part of any conversation. The ability to express differing opinions without causing discord is a skill that great conversationalists master.

The phrase “I appreciate your perspective on…” is an effective way to acknowledge someone’s viewpoint even if you don’t agree with it. It helps to maintain respect and civility, avoiding unnecessary confrontations.

For instance, you might be discussing a recent movie with someone who has a different opinion than yours. Instead of dismissing their viewpoint or launching into a debate, you could say, “I appreciate your perspective on the movie. It’s interesting to hear a different take on it.”

This phrase helps to keep the conversation flowing smoothly and shows that you value the other person’s opinion, even if it differs from yours. It’s a prime example of how to disagree without being disagreeable.

5) “It’s been great meeting you…”

Ending a conversation on a positive note leaves a lasting impression. The phrase “It’s been great meeting you…” is an effective way to wrap up a conversation, ensuring the other person feels valued and appreciated.

The beauty of this phrase lies in its versatility. You can use it in various scenarios, whether you’re at a networking event, a party, or just having a casual chat with someone at a coffee shop. It shows respect for the other person’s time and reinforces your enjoyment of the conversation.

And, if you follow it up with something specific from your chat, it becomes even more impactful. For example, “It’s been great meeting you, Sarah. I really enjoyed hearing about your birdwatching adventures.”

This way, you’re not just saying goodbye; you’re also affirming that you were attentive and engaged during the conversation. It’s a simple way to make the other person feel seen and heard.

6) “I can completely relate to that…”

Empathy is the backbone of any meaningful conversation. The phrase “I can completely relate to that…” is a powerful tool in establishing an emotional connection.

When someone shares a personal story or expresses their feelings about something, responding with this phrase shows understanding and compassion. It conveys that you’ve had similar experiences or feelings and that they’re not alone.

For example, if someone is sharing their struggles with balancing work and personal life, a response like “I can completely relate to that, it’s really tough sometimes” can provide comfort and a sense of solidarity.

Small talk isn’t just about passing time or filling silence. It’s about building connections and understanding. Using this phrase can help transform surface-level chats into deeper, more heartfelt conversations.

7) “I’ve always found it challenging to…”

Opening up about your own challenges or weaknesses can create a sense of intimacy and trust in a conversation. The phrase “I’ve always found it challenging to…” is an excellent way to express vulnerability without making the conversation heavy or uncomfortable.

For instance, if you’re discussing hobbies and someone mentions they love cooking, but you struggle with it, you could say, “I’ve always found it challenging to cook. I can never seem to get the seasoning right.”

This kind of disclosure shows that you’re human and have your own set of challenges.

It makes you relatable and can encourage the other person to share more about themselves, leading to a deeper and more meaningful conversation.

8) “What’s your opinion on…”

Engaging someone’s thoughts and opinions is a surefire way to keep a conversation interesting and dynamic. The phrase “What’s your opinion on…” is a great conversation stimulator, showing that you value the other person’s viewpoint.

Whether it’s about a recent movie, a current event, or even a philosophical idea, asking for someone’s opinion can lead to a rich and stimulating discussion. It invites them to share their thoughts freely, fostering a sense of mutual respect and understanding.

For instance, you could say, “What’s your opinion on remote work? Do you think it’s here to stay?”

It’s important to approach this with an open mind and willingness to understand their perspective, even if it differs from yours.

This phrase is not just about sparking debate; it’s about promoting thoughtful and respectful dialogue.

9) “You’ve given me something to think about…”

The essence of a memorable conversation lies in the exchange of ideas and perspectives. Ending with the phrase “You’ve given me something to think about…” leaves the conversation on a high note, making the other person feel valued and heard.

This phrase signifies that their words had an impact, that they’ve added something to your understanding or perspective. It’s an acknowledgment of their contribution to the conversation, and it leaves them feeling appreciated.

Great conversationalists don’t just talk; they listen, absorb, and reflect. By using this phrase, you show that their words mattered and carried weight, further cementing a meaningful connection.

Final thoughts: The power lies in the connection

These nine phrases are tools, bridges that can transform typical small talk into meaningful dialogues. But at the heart of it all is the power of connection.

Research has shown that human connection can increase happiness, improve health, and lengthen life. And small talk is one of the most accessible ways to cultivate these connections.

When you find yourself in a casual conversation, remember – it’s not just about what you say, but how you make the other person feel. Whether it’s showing empathy, expressing genuine interest, or sharing a piece of yourself, each interaction holds the potential to create a lasting impression.

In essence, mastering the art of small talk isn’t merely about being a great conversationalist. It’s about embracing the opportunity to connect on a human level, one conversation at a time.