The art of small talk: 10 phrases expert conversationalists always use

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | October 23, 2024, 9:41 pm

Mastering small talk can be an art in itself. It’s a dance of words, a play on subtleties, and it’s often the experts who know exactly what to say to keep the conversation flowing.

They know that the magic lies not just in what you say, but how you say it. It’s about making the other person feel comfortable and engaged, while keeping things light and breezy.

Guess what? You too can learn this art. Here are 10 phrases that expert conversationalists always use in small talk.

Let’s dive right in.

1) “How’s your day going?”

This seems like a simple, almost mundane question. But trust me, it’s a golden opener in the world of small talk.

Expert conversationalists know that asking about someone’s day is a great way to break the ice. It shows genuine interest in the other person’s life and it’s open-ended enough to let the conversation flow naturally.

People like sharing their experiences, and by asking this, you’re inviting them to do just that. It also provides a hint of what they’ve been up to, which can lead to more topics to talk about.

The beauty of this phrase is its simplicity and versatility. It can be used in virtually any situation – from casual chats with friends to networking events.

2) “That reminds me of a time when…”

This is the phrase that can turn the mundane into the interesting. It’s a fabulous way to keep the conversation flowing by connecting a shared topic to your own personal experiences.

I remember once, I was at a networking event and someone happened to mention their love for hiking. It so happened that I had recently returned from a thrilling hike myself. So, I said, “That reminds me of a time when I went hiking in the Rockies last month. The views were spectacular!”

The conversation took off from there. We exchanged hiking stories, discussed our favorite trails, and even agreed to plan a hike together in the future.

Using this phrase not only keeps the conversation engaging but also gives people a glimpse into your life, making them feel more connected to you. And trust me, that connection can turn small talk into meaningful conversation.

3) “Did you know that elephants can’t jump?”

Sprinkling unexpected tidbits of knowledge into a conversation can add an element of surprise and intrigue. It’s a tactic often used by expert conversationalists to spark curiosity and stimulate dialogue.

Take the elephant fact for instance. It’s not only unusual but also opens up an array of related topics to discuss – from animal behaviors to the wonders of nature, and even to personal experiences with animals.

The key here is to ensure the fact you share is related to the ongoing discussion or at least relevant to the person you’re talking with. This shows that you’re not just throwing in random facts, but adding value to the conversation.

So next time, try dropping a fascinating fact into your small talk and see how it liven ups the conversation. Just remember, timing is everything!

4) “I couldn’t help but notice…”

This phrase is a great conversation starter. It shows that you’ve been paying attention to your surroundings or to the person you’re speaking with.

For instance, if you’re at an art exhibition, you could say, “I couldn’t help but notice the intricate details in this painting. What do you think?” This opens up a discussion about the artwork, the artist, or even art in general.

Or if you’re talking with someone and notice they have an interesting piece of jewelry or a unique accent, this phrase can be a great way to comment on it and ask for more information.

Using this phrase not only shows your observational skills, but also your willingness to engage and learn more about others or the world around you. It’s a subtle way to show your interest and curiosity, two crucial elements in any conversation.

5) “What’s your opinion on…”

Asking for someone’s opinion is a classic conversational move. It shows respect for the other person’s thoughts and encourages them to share their perspective.

Whether it’s about a recent movie, a current event, or a new restaurant in town, this question can stir up a lively discussion. It invites the other person to express their views and engage in a meaningful conversation.

But remember, it’s also important to listen to their response and react appropriately. This shows that you value their opinion and are interested in what they have to say.

Using this phrase not only keeps the conversation going but also helps you understand the other person better. 

6) “I really appreciate that…”

Expressing appreciation is a warm, sincere way to connect with people during a conversation. It’s about acknowledging something they’ve done, said or shared.

For example, if someone shares a personal story or gives you a piece of advice, responding with “I really appreciate that you shared that with me” tells them that you value their openness and trust.

Or if someone helps you out in any way, expressing your appreciation shows your gratitude and strengthens the bond between you two.

This phrase not only enhances the quality of your conversation but also builds stronger connections. It shows your genuine interest and respect for the other person, making them feel valued and understood.

7) “I’ve always struggled with…”

Opening up about your struggles or challenges can make a conversation more authentic and relatable. It shows that you’re human, with your own set of hurdles and hardships.

For instance, I might say, “I’ve always struggled with public speaking. It makes me nervous every time.” This confession not only makes me appear more genuine and approachable, but it also opens the door for the other person to share their own experiences or offer advice.

It’s important to remember that vulnerability isn’t about seeking sympathy or oversharing; it’s about creating a space where both parties can be honest and authentic. By sharing your struggles, you invite others to do the same, leading to more meaningful and deeper conversations.

8) “I’m not sure I agree…”

While it might seem like a conversation-killer, expressing disagreement can actually enrich a conversation. It adds depth to the discussion and shows that you’re engaged and thinking critically.

The key, of course, is to disagree respectfully. It’s not about proving the other person wrong, but about sharing your own perspective in a thoughtful and considerate way.

For instance, you might say, “I see where you’re coming from, but I’m not sure I agree because…” This shows that you’ve listened to their point of view and are offering your own thoughts without dismissing theirs.

In a world where everyone seems to crave agreement, a respectful disagreement can be refreshing and stimulating. It encourages open dialogue and mutual learning, taking your conversation to a whole new level.

9) “Can you tell me more about…”

This phrase is a powerful tool in any conversation. It shows your interest and encourages the other person to delve deeper into the topic.

Whether they’re talking about their job, a hobby, or a recent vacation, saying “Can you tell me more about…” invites them to share more details and experiences.

Not only does this keep the conversation going, but it also gives you a chance to learn something new. It’s a win-win situation.

10) “It was great talking with you.”

Ending a conversation on a positive note is just as important as how you start it. This phrase leaves a lasting impression and shows your appreciation for the interaction.

It conveys that you enjoyed the conversation and appreciated their time. It’s a simple, yet powerful way to build connections, leaving the door open for future conversations.

 

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