Before my life took a 180-degree turn, I was the kind of person who felt the constant need for approval from others. Living in New York City, I was submerged in a culture where it seemed like one’s worth was measured by how many likes they got on Instagram or how much praise they received at work.

But then, a series of events led me to question this way of life. A job loss, followed by a breakup, led to a lot of introspection and self-doubt. I found myself sitting alone in my apartment, wondering if there was more to life than this never-ending cycle of seeking validation.

In search of answers, I embarked on a journey that took me halfway across the world to a Buddhist monastery in Thailand. There, I spent weeks learning about mindfulness and the art of letting go — lessons that completely transformed my perspective.

Today, as I look back at the person I was five years ago, I realize how far I’ve come. I am now living a life that is truly mine — one not dictated by societal norms or the fear of being judged.

What surprised me most about this journey? The simplicity of the 5 steps that allowed me to live a carefree life and the profound impact they had on my mental well-being. Let me share them with you…

Discovering the five steps to a carefree life

My journey to a carefree life began on the wooden floors of a Thai monastery, surrounded by monks clad in saffron robes. The first lesson they taught me was about mindfulness.

Mindfulness, I learned, was more than just a buzzword. It was about being present in the moment, acknowledging my thoughts and feelings without judgement. This was a far cry from my previous state of always worrying about what others thought of me.

The second and third steps involved self-acceptance and self-love. I began to realize that my worth was not tied to external validation but came from within. I started treating myself with kindness and compassion, which in turn reduced my need for approval from others.

The fourth step was about setting boundaries. I learned that it’s okay to say no and prioritize my needs over others’ expectations. It was a liberating experience to finally stand up for myself.

Lastly, the fifth step was about embracing imperfection. This was perhaps the most difficult yet the most rewarding. Understanding that it’s okay to make mistakes, and that nobody is perfect, freed me from the fear of judgment.

These five steps were simple yet transformative. They taught me how to live a life true to myself, free from the weight of others’ opinions.

But what about the commonly held belief that we need others’ approval to be happy? Let me tell you why this notion couldn’t be further from the truth in my next section…

Break free from approval-seeking: Find true happiness within!

Growing up, we’re often taught to value the opinions of others. We’re told that fitting in and being liked are prerequisites for success and happiness. This belief, however, can lead to a life filled with stress and dissatisfaction.

I lived by this belief for many years. I constantly sought approval, thinking it was the path to happiness. But all it did was make me anxious and unsure of my own worth.

It wasn’t until I discovered the simple truth at that Thai monastery, that my perspective began to shift. I realized that happiness comes not from external validation, but from being true to oneself.

The belief that we need others’ approval is based on the fear of being judged or rejected. But I’ve learned that these fears are often unfounded and only serve to hold us back.

Embracing self-empowerment and living on your terms

Reflecting on my journey, I’ve realized that the most significant transformation happened when I decided to take responsibility for my life. This was not about blaming myself for everything, but about acknowledging that only I had the power to change my situation.

This self-realization helped me understand the importance of thinking for myself. I started to see that many of my beliefs and behaviors were heavily influenced by societal expectations and cultural conditioning. But were they truly mine? Did they align with my authentic self?

• Acknowledge your current dissatisfaction or struggles.
• Understand the external influences and societal conditioning affecting your life.
• Pursue personal ambitions and desires, not externally imposed ones.
• Question societal myths and expectations that limit your potential.

Embracing this fresh outlook wasn’t a walk in the park. It demanded grit, guts, and a ton of soul-searching. But let me tell you, the payoff? Absolutely priceless. 

This journey also drilled home the importance of real, tangible self-growth over fluffy feel-good philosophies. I’ve woven mindfulness and affirmations into my daily routine, keeping me grounded and laser-focused on my personal evolution.

Remember, it’s all about embracing the adventure of self-discovery and crafting your own reality. It’s about syncing your life with your true essence—not what society expects.