Hey there, Lachlan Brown here.

I’m the guy who founded Hack Spirit, and for the last 15 years, I’ve been on a journey.

A journey that has led me to devour every piece of information I could find on human psychology.

Why?

Because I believe that understanding our minds is the first step towards improving our lives.

And one of the most significant discoveries I’ve made is this: a lot of our unhappiness comes from caring too much about what other people think.

Sounds simple, right?

But trust me, it’s a hard habit to break.

Yet it’s absolutely crucial if we want to take control of our own happiness.

In this article, I’ll go through 8 simple ways to stop caring about what other people think of you. 

Let’s dive in.

1. Becoming more self-aware.

This is a foundational step.

You see, often we care too much about others’ opinions because we’re not clear about our own.

We might find ourselves swayed by popular opinion or peer pressure.

So how do we become more self-aware? Start by exploring your values.

What matters most to you in life? What principles do you stand by?

The clearer you are about these, the less you’ll rely on others for validation.

Practical tip: Spend 10 minutes each day journaling about your thoughts and feelings. Write freely and honestly. Over time, you’ll start noticing patterns and gaining insights into what truly drives you.

And most importantly, you’ll learn to validate yourself, rather than seeking validation from others.

2. Understanding that people’s opinions aren’t facts.

This was a big one for me. I used to take people’s opinions as gospel truth.

If someone thought I was lazy, I believed it. If someone thought I was boring, I believed that too.

But over time, I realized that people’s opinions are just that – opinions. They’re based on their own biases, experiences and perspectives. They don’t define who you really are.

When someone shares an opinion about you, take it with a grain of salt. And remember, their opinion does not determine your worth or value.

Practical tip: Practice mindfulness meditation. This helps us to observe our thoughts without getting carried away by them.

Similarly, we can learn to observe others’ opinions without automatically accepting them as truth.

Spend a few minutes each day just observing your thoughts without judgement. With practice, you’ll find it easier to do the same with others’ opinions too.

3. Accepting that you can’t please everyone.

This one might sting a little, but it’s the honest truth.

No matter how hard you try, you simply can’t make everyone happy.

And here’s the kicker:

The more you try to please others, the more you might end up losing yourself in the process.

Now, I’m not saying you should disregard other people’s feelings entirely. But your happiness shouldn’t be contingent on their approval. Focus on pleasing yourself first and foremost.

You’ll find that when you’re happy with who you are, other people’s opinions matter a whole lot less.

Life coach Jeanette Brown has written an incredible book called A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World.

In it, she shares practical strategies and insights on how to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience.

I highly recommend it for anyone looking to take control of their happiness.

Practical tip: Start saying ‘no’ more often. If something doesn’t align with your values or doesn’t make you happy, don’t be afraid to say no.

It might be tough at first, but with time, it’ll become easier and hugely empowering.

4. Embrace criticism.

Instead of fearing criticism, learn to embrace it. Now, I know this sounds counterintuitive. After all, nobody likes being criticized.

But here’s the thing: criticism can be a powerful tool for growth. It can highlight areas where we can improve and become better.

Of course, not all criticism is constructive. But when it is, it can provide valuable insights that we might have missed otherwise.

When you receive criticism, don’t take it personally. Instead, see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Practical tip: The next time you receive criticism, instead of reacting immediately, take a moment to pause and reflect.

Ask yourself: Is there any truth to this? Can I use this feedback to improve myself?

By doing this, you turn criticism into a tool for self-improvement rather than a blow to your self-esteem.

5. Realize that people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are.

For a long time, I was convinced that people were constantly judging me. Every action I took, every word I said, I believed it was under scrutiny.

But then I stumbled upon a psychological concept called the “spotlight effect”.

It’s the belief that others are paying more attention to us than they really are.

In reality, most people are too caught up in their own lives to spend much time thinking about ours.

This realization can be incredibly liberating.

Once you understand that people aren’t constantly judging you, it becomes much easier to stop caring about their opinions.

Practical tip: The next time you find yourself worrying about what others think, remind yourself of the spotlight effect.

Remind yourself that most people are too concerned with their own lives to be overly fixated on yours.

It’s a simple mental shift, but it can make a world of difference.

6. Understanding that people’s opinions change.

People’s opinions are fickle. One day, they might think you’re great. The next day, not so much.

If you tie your self-worth to such fluctuating opinions, you’re setting yourself up for a roller coaster ride of self-esteem.

It’s like building your house on shifting sands – it’s simply not sustainable.

You need to find a more stable foundation for your self-worth. And that foundation is your own opinion of yourself.

Stop attaching your self-worth to something as volatile as others’ opinions. Instead, focus on cultivating a strong sense of self-esteem that comes from within.

Practical tip: Every day, take a few minutes to write down something you love about yourself or something you did well that day.

This simple practice can help reinforce your self-worth and reduce your reliance on others for validation.

7. Live for yourself, not for others.

At the end of the day, this is your life. You’re the one who has to live it, not anyone else. So why let others dictate how you should live?

Famed author and motivational speaker, Les Brown, once said: “Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”

I think this quote perfectly encapsulates this point.

Don’t let other people’s opinions dictate your actions or decisions. Live your life according to your own values and desires, not someone else’s.

Practical tip: Set personal goals that are aligned with your values and aspirations, not societal expectations or others’ opinions.

Then work towards these goals every day. By doing so, you’ll be living for yourself and not for others.

8. Surround yourself with positive influences.

This one is close to my heart. A few years back, I realized that some of the people I was spending time with were not good for my mental health.

Their negativity and judgment were affecting my self-esteem and happiness.

So I made a tough but necessary decision to distance myself from them.

And guess what?

My self-esteem improved, and I started caring less about what others thought of me.

Remember, you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So choose those people wisely.

Surround yourself with positive, supportive individuals who love you for who you are.

Practical tip: Take a moment to evaluate your current social circle. Are these people uplifting and supportive? Or do they often bring you down?

If it’s the latter, it might be time to reconsider who you’re spending your time with.

Conclusion

From boosting self-awareness to embracing criticism, these tips are designed to help you regain control of your happiness.

At the end of the day, your opinion of yourself is the one that matters most.

True happiness comes from within, not from others’ approval.

And every step you take towards caring less about what others think is a step towards a happier, more authentic you.

If you’re looking for more practical tips and strategies on building a happier life, I highly recommend Jeanette Brown’s book A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World.

It’s packed with actionable advice and insights drawn from her years of experience as a life coach.

Happiness is an art. And like any art, it requires practice and patience.

But rest assured – with each brushstroke you make, you’re creating your own masterpiece: a life filled with joy, authenticity and inner peace.