The art of emotional intelligence: 7 simple ways to make people like you

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | February 5, 2024, 5:53 pm

Have you ever heard of emotional intelligence? No, it’s not some mystical, intangible concept.

A concrete, vital skill set can make or break your relationships. And the best part? It’s not innate. It can be learned and honed over time.

You might wonder, “How do I improve my emotional intelligence?” Or even, “How can I use this to make people like me?”

In this article, we will explore the art of emotional intelligence and outline seven simple ways to use it to win over someone’s heart.

So let’s get started!

1) Practice active listening

Active listening is a critical component of emotional intelligence. It’s about truly hearing what the other person is saying rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.

And guess what?

People love being heard. It makes them feel valued and understood. So next time you find yourself drifting off mid-conversation, snap back. Please focus on the speaker’s words, expressions, and the emotions behind their speech.

Make it a habit.

With time, you’ll notice a significant improvement in your relationships. You’ll be perceived as more empathetic and understanding – universally liked traits.

Every conversation is an opportunity to learn something new about someone else. So listen up!

2) Show genuine empathy

Here’s a little story.

A few years back, I had a colleague who was always in a bad mood. He’d snap at the slightest provocation and was generally difficult to be around.

One day, I approached him instead of avoiding him like usual. I asked if he was okay and expressed concern for his well-being.

To my surprise, he opened up.

He was dealing with some personal issues affecting his work behavior. By showing empathy, I could break down the wall he had built around himself. This interaction changed our relationship entirely, and we became good friends.

Empathy is not just about understanding someone else’s feelings but showing them that you know and care for them.

And believe me, people gravitate towards those who show genuine empathy. It makes them feel safe and valued.

So, don’t shy away from expressing empathy when you can. It may just turn a foe into a friend!

3) Be authentic

Some time ago, I went through a phase where I tried to fit into every social circle, tailoring my personality to match the crowd. But it was exhausting and, honestly, quite unfulfilling.

Then, one day, it hit me.

Why was I trying so hard to be someone I wasn’t?

Then, I consciously decided to be myself, quirks and all. And the response was astonishing.

People began to appreciate my authenticity. My relationships became more meaningful, and people were genuinely interested in getting to know the real me.

Here’s the truth.

When you’re authentic, you’re comfortable in your skin. And when you’re comfortable with yourself, others feel comfortable around you, too.

Embrace your individuality, and let people see the real you. It may seem scary at first, but trust me, authenticity is magnetic. You’ll attract people who love and appreciate you for who you are.

4) Demonstrate respect

Everyone wants to feel respected, whether it’s in their personal or professional lives. It’s a fundamental human need.

But what does demonstrating respect look like?

It’s about acknowledging someone’s feelings, ideas, and experiences, even if they differ from yours. It’s also about treating others how you’d like to be treated.

Here’s an example.

If a friend shares an opinion you disagree with, instead of dismissing it outright or arguing, try saying something like, “I see where you’re coming from, but I have a different view on this.”

This approach shows that you respect their perspective while also expressing your own.

Respect fosters mutual understanding and acceptance, which can significantly enhance your likability. People naturally gravitate towards those who make them feel valued and respected.

5) Practice positivity

Did you know that your positive or negative vibe is contagious?

It’s true.

Maintaining a positive outlook can improve your mood and influence those around you.

Think about it.

Who would you rather spend time with – someone constantly complaining or who lifts your spirits?

Positivity is attractive. It draws people in like moths to a flame.

Thus, practicing positivity doesn’t mean ignoring negative feelings or experiences. It means choosing to focus on the good despite the bad.

Spread those positive vibes and watch as people are drawn to your radiant energy.

6) Embrace vulnerability

I’ve always been a perfectionist.

I was afraid to make mistakes, show weakness, and let people see that I didn’t have all the answers. Over time, I learned that this wasn’t helping me but creating an invisible barrier between me and others.

I decided to let my guard down.

I started admitting when I was wrong or didn’t know something. I opened up about my fears and insecurities. It was scary, yes, but it also felt liberating.

And here’s what happened.

People didn’t shun me. Instead, they related to me. They saw themselves in my struggles and felt comfortable sharing their own.

Being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. It allows others to connect with you on a deeper level. And that connection builds solid and lasting relationships.

Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side. It might be the key to unlocking deeper and more meaningful connections with others.

7) Cultivate self-awareness

This is the most crucial point.

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. It’s about understanding your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and how they impact others.

When self-aware, you’re tuned in to how your behavior affects those around you. You can identify negative patterns and work on changing them. You can also leverage your strengths to build better relationships.

For instance, if you know you tend to get defensive when criticized, you can consciously work on taking feedback positively.

Being self-aware helps you navigate social interactions more effectively. You become more adaptable, understanding, and likable.

Take some time for introspection and to understand yourself better. It’s the first step towards becoming a more emotionally intelligent and likable individual.

The final takeaway

Navigating the realm of emotional intelligence might seem daunting, but remember, it’s a journey of self-discovery and growth.

If you recognize areas for improvement within yourself, don’t despair. It’s not a sign of failure but an opportunity for personal development.

Make a conscious effort to understand and manage your emotions. Pay attention to your interactions with others. Strive to be an active listener and show empathy, respect, and authenticity. Spread positivity and embrace vulnerability.

Take a moment to reflect on your journey so far, and look forward to the growth ahead. Your journey towards becoming more emotionally intelligent awaits.