The art of detachment: 7 clever ways to deal with emotionally exhausting people

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | April 17, 2024, 11:25 am

Ah, the notorious energy vampires—everybody’s got them in their life! You know the type—those folks who have a knack for sucking the life right out of us.

No matter how hard we try to keep our spirits up, their endless negativity, drama, or insatiable thirst for attention can leave us feeling like we’ve been through the wringer.

You know what’s the key to dealing with these individuals? It’s all about detachment, my friend. But how exactly do we detach ourselves from these energy vampires? How do we protect our mental health without coming off as cold or uncaring?

Fear not, I’ve got you covered. In this article, we will explore 7 clever ways to master the art of detachment and deal with emotionally exhausting people effectively.

1) Recognize the impact

Let’s start with a personal story. I once had a friend. Let’s call her Lisa. Lisa was the kind of person who could turn a sunny day into a hurricane. No matter what, she always found a way to complain, criticize and create drama.

I stuck around because I felt I should be there for her, it was the “right” thing to do. But over time, I realized that every interaction left me feeling depleted and stressed. It was affecting my own mental health.

The first step in mastering the art of detachment is acknowledging the impact these individuals have on your emotional wellbeing. Reflect on how you feel after your interactions with them. If you consistently feel drained or negative, it’s a sign that something needs to change.

2) Set clear boundaries

When I realized the toll Lisa was taking on me, I knew I had to do something.

So, I started setting boundaries. This wasn’t easy at first; it felt uncomfortable and even a bit selfish. But trust me, it was necessary.

I began by limiting the amount of time I spent with her and avoided engaging in her drama. When she started complaining or criticizing, I would politely but firmly change the subject or excuse myself from the conversation.

3) Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is all about being present in the moment. It’s about observing our thoughts and feelings without judgement.

When dealing with emotionally exhausting people, mindfulness can play a crucial role. It helps us to respond instead of reacting to their negativity or drama.

Did you know that regular practice of mindfulness meditation can actually change the structure of your brain? It strengthens the prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain responsible for rational thinking, and reduces activity in the amygdala, our emotional response center, as per research

In other words, practicing mindfulness can help you develop a more balanced perspective and prevent yourself from getting swept up in someone else’s emotional storm.

4) Learn to let go

Sometimes, we hold onto relationships because of a shared history or out of a sense of duty. But it’s important to understand that not all relationships are meant to last forever.

Just like seasons change, relationships too can run their course. They can become emotionally draining and no longer serve us in a positive way.

Letting go doesn’t mean you wish them harm or stop caring about them. It simply means you’re choosing to step back for your own well-being.

5) Develop a self-care routine

I’ll be honest, I used to think self-care was all about bubble baths and spa days. But over time, I’ve learned it’s so much more than that.

When I started dealing with an emotionally draining individual at work, I realized I needed a solid self-care routine to counter the stress.

I started small. Ten minutes of meditation in the morning, a short walk during lunch breaks, and making sure I was eating nourishing meals.

These simple acts of self-care made a huge difference. They helped me recharge and gave me the strength to deal with the draining individual without losing my cool.

6) Seek support

No matter how strong we are, dealing with emotionally exhausting people can sometimes be overwhelming. During those times, it’s important to seek support.

Reach out to your friends, family, or a trusted mentor. Share your feelings and experiences with them.

You’d be surprised at how comforting it can be just to talk it out with someone who understands. Emotional support aside, they may also provide a different perspective or practical advice on how to handle the situation.

Word to the wise: never underestimate the power of a strong support network. It can be your safe haven in the midst of emotional storms.

7) Focus on what you can control

I remember a time when I felt helpless dealing with a family member who was just too difficult. No matter what I did, their behavior never seemed to change.

Eventually, I realized I was focusing on the wrong thing. I couldn’t control their actions, but I could control my response to them.

Instead of trying to change the person or situation, focus on what you can control – your own reactions and attitudes. This shift in focus can be incredibly freeing and empowering.

Don’t forget empathy

As we wrap things up, let’s unveil one more secret weapon for dealing with emotional vampires apart from detachment—empathy. Empathy isn’t about excusing someone’s toxic behavior; it’s about grasping their viewpoint and acknowledging their humanity.

Believe it or not, many emotional vampires are grappling with their own inner battles and uncertainties. So, let’s offer them a dose of kindness and patience, even if they’re sucking the life out of us. After all, it’s much harder to bite back when you’re busy being understanding!

That being said, empathy should never come at the cost of your own mental health. It’s important to strike a balance between understanding others and taking care of yourself.