Influence is a powerful tool, but it’s often wielded by those who do it subtly.

Being naturally influential isn’t about strong-arming folks into doing what you want.

No, those who truly have impact are masters at guiding others toward their own choices, while gently steering the conversation in a beneficial direction.

These influencers don’t rely on manipulation or coercion; they’ve got a different toolkit. In their arsenal are seven subtle behaviors backed by psychology that make all the difference.

In this article, we’ll delve into what makes an influencer truly influential, and how these behaviors can be honed for maximum effect.

And remember, it’s not about trickery – it’s about genuine connection and communication.

Now, let’s uncover these seven subtle behaviors of natural influencers.

1) Listening more than speaking

In the realm of influence, we often believe that it’s the most vocal and assertive people who hold the reins. This, however, isn’t always the case.

Psychology points us towards a different trait found in naturally influential individuals – the ability to listen more than they speak.

This isn’t about being passive or submissive, but about truly understanding others’ perspectives and needs.

It’s about making others feel heard and valued, which in turn builds trust and openness.

As Carl Rogers, a renowned psychologist, once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”

When people feel heard and understood, they’re more likely to be open to your influence. So next time you’re in a conversation, practice active listening.

You might be surprised at the impact it has.

2) Empathy is key

Another trait that I’ve found distinguishes influential people is their ability to empathize with others. It’s not just about understanding someone’s point of view, but truly feeling what they feel.

I remember, during a team project in my previous job, there was a colleague who was always resistant to new ideas. Instead of getting frustrated, I decided to try a different approach.

I asked her about her concerns and listened attentively. It turned out, she was worried about the extra workload these changes would bring.

Acknowledging her fears and working together to find a solution brought not just a change in her resistance, but also a deeper level of respect and understanding between us.

Famed psychologist Daniel Goleman said it best: “Empathy represents the foundation skill for all the social competencies important for work.”

Influence isn’t just about getting people to do what you want; it’s about understanding their needs, fears, and aspirations and finding a common ground.

3) Authenticity breeds influence

Ever feel like people can sense when you’re not being genuine? The truth is, they probably can.

Authenticity is a crucial ingredient in the recipe for influence. People are naturally more drawn to those who are honest and real, compared to those who try to put on a facade.

As Carl Jung, a prominent psychologist, once stated, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

Influence isn’t about pretending to be someone else or molding yourself to fit what you think others want.

It’s about being honest, being yourself, and allowing that authenticity to attract and influence the people around you.

Real influence comes from within and it starts with embracing who you truly are.

4) They understand the power of non-verbal communication

Non-verbal cues play a significant role in how we perceive and influence others. It’s not just about what we say, but how we say it, and the signals our body language sends out.

In a study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, researchers found that individuals who used more engaging and open body language were perceived as more influential by their peers.

This included behaviors such as maintaining eye contact, using expressive hand gestures, and adopting an open posture.

These non-verbal signals can communicate confidence, openness, and sincerity, all of which can enhance your influential power.

So next time you’re trying to persuade someone, remember that your body language can speak louder than your words.

5) Adaptability is their superpower

In my experience, influential people are not set in their ways. They are adaptable, flexible, and always open to learning and changing.

There’s a quote by Albert Einstein that I particularly love, “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” This adaptability isn’t just about intelligence, but also about influence.

People who are adaptable can adjust their approach based on the situation or the person they’re interacting with.

They can navigate through changes and uncertainties more effectively, and this flexibility makes them more influential.

So if you want to increase your influence, start by embracing change and learning to adapt. It might be challenging at first, but the rewards are worth it.

6) They are not afraid to show vulnerability

Here’s a counterintuitive fact: influential people are not afraid to show their vulnerability. Yes, you heard it right.

In a world that often values a show of strength and invulnerability, admitting to fears and failures might seem like a weakness. But in reality, it’s a strength.

Brené Brown, a renowned psychologist and research professor, has spent years studying vulnerability.

As she puts it, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

Showing vulnerability builds trust and fosters deeper connections with others. It shows you’re human and relatable, and this authenticity can significantly enhance your influence.

So don’t shy away from showing your vulnerabilities. It might just make you more influential than you think!

7) They practice patience

Influence isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. And the most influential people know the importance of patience.

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, once said, “Patience is the key to paradise.” The same applies to influence.

It takes time to build trust, understand others, and cultivate meaningful relationships.

Influence grows over time, not overnight. So remember to practice patience and give your influence time to bloom.

Final thoughts

Influence is a complex dance, a delicate balance of empathy, authenticity, adaptability, and patience.

It’s about tuning into the subtleties of human behavior and connection, and harnessing these insights to inspire and guide.

Remember, naturally influential people don’t wield their influence like a weapon. Instead, they use it as a tool to build bridges, foster understanding, and create positive change.

As you reflect on these seven behaviors, consider which ones resonate with you. Which ones do you already practice? And which ones could you cultivate further?

Influence isn’t about power. It’s about connection. And in a world that’s more interconnected than ever before, your ability to influence can make a significant impact.

So take these insights, reflect on them, and see where they guide you in your journey towards becoming more influential.